by Lady Lee 39 Replies latest watchtower scandals
Lady Lee, I am so sorry. Women are just not valued in many societies that see men as more important. The terrible thing is when they convince these women ( like your mom) they really are inferior and in up helping them.
thanks for not backing down. It is not easy to stand your ground and not back off. You and Barbara and Blondie are real inspirations to women everywhere that we can make a difference.
So sorry to hear of this happening again in the family. One of the textbooks I studied in college on counseling dealt with the dynamics within the family, perhaps you came across it or others here may benefit: Phd. Cory; Theory and Practice Of Counseling & Psychotherapy.
Thanks Randy and Outlaw
Mind blown
I rarely use the term pedophile. Your definitions there are right on. Many people who sexually abuse children do have adults that they are sexually involved with. They are not exclusive to children. I think the term pedophile demonizes the perpetrator. And while hthe actions may be evil most often these perpetrators look like everybody else - no horns or long coats
3rdgen
I know in my work with incest survivors many of the women felt doubly betrayed by their mothers. I idealized my for many years until my eyes were finally opened and I saw her as she is.
I used to have a cat that knew when I was upset and he would just come and sit by me, looking over every few minutes to make sure I was ok. When I came home from the hospital after having my appendix out (I was 49 yrs old) the cat came and laid by my side where the incision was. He NEVER slept there but always did after the sugery. He paid far more attention to me than my mother ever did. I know my mother was severely damaged by her childhood. But instead of saying "I will protect my children from abuse" she chose to close her eyes to it and has allowed 4 children in her care and 1 visiting to be sexually abused in her home. That is the grossest neglect.
Viola
My perspective from when she was young was that her parents fussed over her a lot while ignoring her brother. Seems they were fussing at the wrong times.
I have learned that keeping away from my mother is the healthiest thign I can do for myself and certainly for my children and now grandchildren. She shuns all of us and that is actually a good thing. It protects my family from further abuse by her or the people in her home.
MY mother would often dsay I needed a good man to take care of me. Frankly she didn't exactly do so good in choosing the men in her life. She is no example to follow.
Don't get me wrong. I like men. But I do better without them lol
Designs
It has been a while since I read textbooks but I still have some of my old ones stored around here somewhere.
For people who have been sexually abused if you go into
The Best of... WTS and Sexual Abuse of Children
There are a couple of thread re books for survivors. The list is a bit old now but many of the books are excellent and still available.
LADY LEE- I'm so sorry this child abuse happened to your cousin. It's disgusting. I'm sorry your family history was full of this abuse happening. And I'm sorry it happened to you as well. Your statement, " SEXUAL ABUSERS DO NOT CHANGE," is so very true and yet part of the problem in how the WT society doesn't insist on changing their policies.
What I mean by that is the WT society trains their elders to believe erroneously that child molesters WILL change and that with the alleged " holy spirit " or whatever that a pedophile, child molester , or child rapist will change if they follow WT society's views on the Bible or their literature. It's really quite arrogant on the WT society's part to think they know more about child molestation than professional therapists and doctors who have studied this for years. Yet isn't the WT society always quite arrogant and think they know better than ANYONE about ANYTHING on this planet ? It's all about control, power, and avoiding legal monetary payouts to the victims of child abuse - as to what keeps the WT society from changing their policies or admitting they are wrong in how they handle it. And it's THAT attitude that's been handed down to the elders, servants, men, women ( including your mom ) that keeps these people thinking that the WT society is an expert on EVERY single event or situation that happens on the planet. Also called cult mind control. It's criminal really. Hang in there kiddo. You have friends here who support you, me included
Lady Lee . . . It's impossible to imagine your feelings as a child . . . that basic vital unqualified trust a child depends on so completely . . . is totally destroyed leaving you nowhere to go.
Sexual abuse is far more damaging to a child than most people believe. . . . L Lee
I agree unreservedly . . . and it's usually permanent. I wonder if abusive parents, or those that allow it, have lost (or never had) an appreciation for how profoundly damaging this behaviour is. Not trying to make excuses for them . . . but if they too have come from a hidden abusive background, then a normal reaction to it is probably not possible. Of course, the WTS has no such excuse . . . and are constantly guilty of aiding and abetting this practice . . . when they DO in fact know better.
Another reason why a general ignorance of how damaging it is prevails . . . is the understandable reluctance (even inability) of victims to reveal themselves fully and speak openly about it. The memories, the stigma etc., . . . it takes a very brave soul to emerge and speak out.
That is why people such as yourself are so valuable L Lee. You're a champion. All the best to you.
So, so sorry for your traumatic experiences and lasting pain. Hugs.
I'm so sorry that this vile sickness is in your family.
Lady Lee, I did not read your post. Lately I have avoided this topic, because reading about child abuse cases makes me depressed.
I admire your strength. Thank you for making these scandals public, for exposing wt policies and jw behaviour and for giving the victims support.
freetosee
I'm sorry for all the victims in your family. I don't understand a woman who is so desperate for a man,they sacrifice their children's well-being.
I know two cases personally, where the men were abusing their daughters/step-daughters,the girls were told not to tell. And one is still with her husband after all these years,after he has abused 40+ children. He recently got reinstated a year or so ago. It all just sickens me.
I too am so sorry you had to endure all this.
I believe this IS a sick family ,I understand her brother( Your Mum.s) is on his 45th c/l/wife
