New here...need some support (page 2)

Thor

Hello Free and welcome!

I am happy that you are here.

All of our stories are so different leaving the JW's, I wish good things for both you and your wife!

Try to be patient.

Mrs. Thor

I am currently going through the same thing. First off, please don't rush--I know the feeling of freedom once you awaken can be intoxicating; I'm a 36-year-old born in and felt the exact same way and know the self-destructive arguments you might be facing: I only got married to avoid fornacation it wasn't true love, I've never been with another woman so how do I know she's the one, our life together was based on a lie, she's still in and we'll just grow apart anyway, etc. etc.

LIke I said, I just wanted to ditch it all and start fresh, but my reasoning (and my own moral sense) is starting to come back to me. It's not much different than any other mid-life crisis, in that the feelings are prompted by wasted opportunites and wanting to play catch-up and live to the full. But destroying your relationship (hopefully there was some love) isn't going to solve your feelings and it will only validate your family's belief in the sterotypical apostate who abandons all moral standards upon leaving.

Even if you think she's deep in the org, your staying with her gives you a chance to "win her without a word" through your conduct :P

Others on this board gave me the same advice: take things slow, there's no need to rush into another life-altering decision. So what I'm doing is starting small on personal improvements: Taking a night class, learning martial arts, reading self-help books, getting to know myself. If my wife comes around and accepts the new me and what our life will be, great. If she doesn't, than at least I tried. To do anything less would be extremely selfish (at least to me; but I'm not judging your situation)

shamus100

The worst thing in the world to do right now is to do anything that doesn't feel right. Don't let a single solitary soul talk you into a thing.

Whatever you decide, take things slowly if you can. Some people just can't stand it any longer and dramatically go, but even they take their time thinking about it. There is so much to consider.

It may be difficult to do, but seeking outside counselling is usually only a good thing.

Keep your head up! :D And welcome.

Pams girl

Welcome aboard to a great supportive family, glad you found us. Learn to expand your thinking ability, and research, research, research. I wish you well.

strymeckirules

i wish you were my brother.

i hope your family will follow you. good luck.

research is your biggest friend right now. get smarter than the problem.

sizemik

Freeof1914 . . . welcome to the Forum.

This is the hardest part . . . and the advice here is sound . . . take your time and read plenty . . . particularly Steve Hassans 2 books. Unfortunately, once a certain position is taken . . . there is usually no reversing available. Make your steps certain, informed and well thought out. All the best.

Billy the Ex-Bethelite

Welcome. I was AAA (Available After Armageddon), so I didn't marry. I'm fading, moved away to university, and haven't attended a KH in about 6 months now.

Good luck. Take your time to carefully think, decide, and plan... it's not like armageddon is coming tomorrow.

rebel8

I would wonder if ending a marriage at such a tumultuous time in your spiritual life might be hasty? Presumably you have a lot of things yet to learn about yourself (if you're anything like I was).

I highly recommend watching the movie The Village, BTW.

leavingwt

Welcome!

NVR2L8

Welcome Freeof 1914,

I can't remember not being a JW and after 50 years I finally saw the truth about the "truth"...my wife, my mom, brother and sister are zealous JWs as I was most of my life. I resigned as a MS and started missing many meetings because of "work" when in fact I was signing up for all available business trips to avoid having to go to the Kingdom Hall. After the last day at the 2010 DC and the talk on the generation, I told my wife that I had attended my last JW meeting. I tried to explain but as most JW she didn't want to hear it. Still to this time we avoid the subject...she doesn't tell me anything about the brothers...and I keep my opinions to myself. All I can do is to show her unconditionnal love. I hope she notices that I am much happier and less judgemental. With time I hope to gain her by acts and without words.

I hope my experience paints a picture on some of the reactions and challenges you may face. Your love for your wife will be put to test...and so is her's...

New here...need some support