I wish to thank each and every one of you for your kind responses, what a wonderful group of persons! Perhaps because of the common sharing that we hold. I wish to reply to several of you but I want you all to know that I very much appreciate each of your comments and encouragement.
first to j-w; my family knows a bit concerning my doubts but not in full as I have no desire to face a charge of apostacy, having been an elder I am fully aware of how the process works. I have my own exit plans but I choose to not share them with anyone except Jehovah in prayer.
Loz - thanx, is exactly what I am doing; focusing upon my personal relationship with Jehovah and Christ, yet I recognize the command to gather together, but this can be with only two or three as Christ is with us even then.
LeavingWt - thank you, I intend to order these books soon, have read excerpts from them but not the entire books, but thank you so much for the reminder
Cedars - yes, will check out this site also, thank you so much for sharing, have enjoyed your comments on the various threads, is wise to never over react jumping from frying pan to fire as you say.
jwfacts - thank you for your post and I see that you have been here for some time (mean that in a positive manner) actually YES I do believe that Jehovah takes an active interest and is exposing falsehood both in the larger denominations as well as the less significant (at least in size) The Catholic church he is thoroughly exposing respecting the pedophile situation and corruptness of hiding those culpable, other denominations by exposing various ways in which they are not in harmony with Bible teachings, and definitely the JW organization, not because of size in numbers but rather because of their insistence upon being the only true church as well as their claim to his holy name. I firmly believe that both Christ and Jehovah have tender regard for little children and have little tolerance for abuse and the hiding of responsibility.
again I wish to thank one and all, shadow, found sheep, mrs jones5, fortis et liber and all others for your upbuilding comments
M007