The gal I'm dating frequents match.com - advice?

by UnConfused 40 Replies latest social relationships

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  Stealth

  I would ask her in a non-confrontational way. Like you are okay if she is not happy and wants to look, but if that is the case, you should be able to do the same. Her response will tell you what is in her heart and you won't look weak taking this possition.

  If you don't get the answer you hoped for, then consider NRG recommendation to listen to misogynist rap while you re-sign up on match.

  Also, it sounds like she does like spending time with you, so nothing wrong with friends with benefits until either of you find the right match as long as you can get your head around that is all it is. You can have fun and be free. If that is the case then you should agree that once either of you find another serious match then you end being f*ck buddies.
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  Dagney

  Have the heart to heart. As difficult as it seems, it's far easier and soul settling to know where you stand and deal with that. Not knowing is a killer.

  More often than not, you should trust your gut.

  Good luck.
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  Magwitch

  I agree 100% with Sic Semper.

  However, this does not mean it is a lost cause. Give it more time - she may in the months ahead realize you are her soul mate

  As ex-JW's we were under the impression that dating lasted a few weeks followed by a quick marriage proposal and a fast trip down the aisle. The real world is so refreshingly different.
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  UnConfused

  Thanks for the thoughts and advice everyone.

  Could I consider Nickleback rather than misogynist rap? I don't think I know where to find misogynist rap anyway.
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  Jim_TX

  When I was on Match - where I met my wife, I had left my profile 'online' for a bit after we had started going together.

  When we decided that we were going to stop looking we both decided to take our profiles 'offline'.

  Perhaps you could gently - in a casual discussion - let her know that you've removed your profile on Match, as you've found what you're looking for. See if she also admits that she's found what she is looking for. If she does, then maybe you could point out that if she should take her profile down.

  Just a thought. No need to go in 'guns blazin' - or you may look like a domineering fool. She may not even realize that her profile is still active.

  Good Luck! I'm glad that you found someone.

  Regards,

  Jim TX
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  Stealth

  I don't think I know where to find misogynist rap anyway.

  Miz - Who would you recommend for the misogynist rap genre?
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  Band on the Run

  I have felt no chemistry on dates. In fact, I was certain for far less than desired. Since I don't trust my gut instincts, I continue to date and resolve the situation. Something happens. Without the pressure, my dates seems better. Character is important to me. No test or paper credentials show character.

  If you ask her about in a casual way, trust what she says. I would try to set some boundaries with myself so she doesn't have all the power. Overly dependent men are not attractive. When you love, though, you love.
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  LostGeneration

  I think most rap falls into that category. The difficulty would be finding non-mysogynist rap.
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  No Room For George

  Exactly, Nomad!!!!!!!!! Exactly!!!!! He needs to listen to Snoop's Chronic Break one time. "Treat a girl like 7-Up, I never have, I never will."

  But seriously, keep your options open, Unconfused.
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  NomadSoul

  Stealth, that was some solid advice. I'll come to you whenever I need some relationship advice.

  NRFG, and the song for all dating sites should be Tupac - All about you. Lol Edit: I'm just kidding. Just in case someone does know the song.