I'm completely effed up. I've got an inappropriate sense of humor, a tendency to embrace misanprothy, don't know how to tell people I love no, both fascinated with and respect anyone who hates or feels as indifferent to society as I do and that includes white nationalists, anti-goverment extremists, gangsters, drug dealers, and anybody else who thumbs their nose at this so called civilized society. You want to burn it down, I'll go get the gasoline damned if it's $4/gallon or not. Fukk that flag, the national anthem, patriotism, religion, Santorum and his dead fetus, Limbaugh and the girl he caled a slut, Democrats, Republicans, Liberterians, the 1st amendment, the 2nd one, any and everything within this society needs burned to the ground man. The part I hate the most is that I feel guilt for having such feelings, but at the same time I have this urge to be like Pharoah and allow my heart to become obstinate. I don't feel part of anything as a result of this JW upbringing, and at the same time I feel that the WT has done a pretty good job at stripping the value away of anything non-WT related, and for that I hate them and thank them.
My mental health isn't 100% on point, matter fact it's not even 70% where it should be. Suffering from insomnia, mild depression, moderate anxiety, haven't had a woman's affection in about a decade, fantasizing about taking a trip to New York before they move to Warick and making Columbine and V-Tech look like an episode of the Care Bears by the time I get done. Feel like I owe them some get-back up in Bethel. They played a heavy hand into messing my life up, and I feel the need to return the favor. I'd never go up there and do something like that, but maybe the next time I get the oppurtunity to snuff a CO or another WT Heavyweight, I'll take it.
On the other hand, to be fair, I'm making a living, I've got my physical health, a place to reside, not starving, not paralyzed or in Somalia or some other hellhole of a country. So I guess one should always count their blessings.