Are You A Screwed Up Adult Because You Were A Witness? (page 5)

finally awake

Thank you for the kind words Berengaria - I have moments of brilliant wit and biting sarcasm that send Just Ron into hysterical fits of laughter. So far, he seems to be the only person who really understands my sense of humor.

truthseeker

I was thinking about this today Min, and yes, I do feel that I've been screwed up because I've been a JW for over 30 years.

I feel cheated to be honest, lost out on many opportunties that I could have had if I was never a JW.

And now I'm in my 30s, I feel like a late bloomer, having to learn everything that people already know.

For those of us unlucky to be born into "the truth", there are days when I wish I could go back, not for the boring meetings, but because I had a sense of belonging, now I have nothing, some would say well you're a free agent now, and I am, but I feel like I have freedom without friends.

clearpoison

Well yes and no. I have my issues but not really because I was a witness, but because it didn't suit me and I couldn't follow the path. If I would have been successfull in pursuing full-scale witness life I guess I would be ok.

CP

mamamo

jaguarbass

I used to blame the witnesses for my problems.

I think they had some responsibility.

But then when I think about my parents, if my mother never was a JW, I dont know how things would have turned out.

It could have been better it could have been worse.

Hindsights 20/20. But we dont have hindsight when we are going forward.

Life is a journey and I have been on the journey 59 years. The first 32 as a JW the last 27 as a free moral agent.

I just retired last week. I have time and money. I'm fit and healthy,I live in Florida.

And I'm not particularly happy. I feel kind of empty.

I cant blame that on the witnesses.

Life or God is always teaching me lessons.

The grass is always greener on the other side, watch what you wish for.

When I had my job I hated it so much I couldnt wait to retire. I marked off the days one by one.

Now that I retired I miss my job and think about going back.

That's screwed up, but I cant blame it on the witnesses.

I have an itch and I'm never able to scratch it.

I'm not happy that I spent about 50 years believing in God and the bible and the past 9 years sliding into

agnosticsm and possibly into atheism, depending on ones interpretation of definitions. I cant blame

that on the JW's, the kingdom hall was like a spiritual/ intellectual kindergarden on my lifes journey.

I dont know how to describe my lifes journey, its part wizard of oz, part the Matrix and part, Chariots of the Gods.

FreeGirl2006

I haven't posted in a while but I have been lurking.This is an interesting thread to me and something my boyfriend and I discuss on a regular basis.

My boyfriend was a Baptist minister and as deeply entrenched in that cult/religion as I was with the Borg. I was born in and baptized by 14. I left in my late 30s. Boyfriend was pulled into his world in his mid~twenties. We compare notes all the time. Both of us feel as if we came up for oxygen and really started living once we left our respective mind/emotion prisons.

I realized what a joy it is to live day each rather than to be focused on a fairytale future. I decided when I left to be open to all possibilities. I try not to dwell on the damage I experienced being in the Borg and look at the fact that I am no longer depressed (spent most o my life being depressed), I no longer need medication to cope with life, I have good friends who genuinely care for me, I met the love of my life who treats me better than any of the emotionally repressed brothers I dated (or in the case of the ex-hub married), and I went back to school and graduated with a master's degree and run a very successful business. The harm I experienced from being a jw makes me appreciate how far I have come in the short (6 years) since I was kicked out. Truly the elders gave me a gift....maybe I should send my old Cong. a big bouquet of flowers!

I know I still have issues as a result of the Borg upbringing and sometimes it takes me by surprise the issues I have. It was a struggle to get my business up and running because in the back of my mind was "what is the point, it is all going to end soon." Apathy is something that the dubs are good at preaching about, but they have the largest portion of apathy in the world--apathy for the here and now. I would say that is the biggest thing I still struggle with is the apathy I was enveloped with for 35+ years.

Star tiger

Hi,

Yeah, absolutely I'm lucky that I had parents that were not too into it, but unfortunately never had any christmas or birthdays and scouts and other activities were out, still the mindset sometimes is reactivated when certain special witness words are said, all in their programming and their use of fnords!

One day may we all find our own freedom, until that happens at least Beer is my comforter!!!

Regards,

Star Tiger

PaintedToeNail

Yes, I am unable to make long term goals, after being taught everything that is known on this earth was coming to an end in 1975, and after that, very shortly, around the corner, we are at the end of the end...to know what to do is extremely difficult. We weren't supposed to plan on living, merely existing until the 'real life' came at some time.

Chemical Emotions

Yes, a little.

I am morbidly afraid of illness, old age, and death.

I have low self esteem.

I have terrible social skills.

I need other's approval.

And I tend to be very ignorant of life outside the borg.

I tend to be slightly judgemental at times as well.

justmom

Screwed up NO...but a lottttaaaa tine on my hands in the beginning when I didn't have all the meetings, service, studying, etc... to do!

But depending on how long you've been out and why, "screwed up" is exactly what the WTBS wants to see and hear of. ("See, thats what happens to people when they leave Jehovah/ the truth.")

So, ask yourself, what makes you feel you are screwed up and why? What are you doing now to make a positive difference in your life, being free and the difference you are making towards others even family. What are you using your freedom for?

There is....and can be REAL LIFE after the watchtower. Many experience it here! Don't give up on your faith! Don't blame Jah! Don't blame His son! Live our faith and training they told us to do. Something we should be able to do without them! They told us we should be prepared to walk by faith and not by sight (them) we don't need them, their laws and rules and hypocrisy! All we need is love (the beatles lol)

Not their defintion of love but Christs definition of love! There is NO law and boundaries against His love.......It is true love!

It doesn't JUDGE> It doesn't DIVIDE families> It is perfect. We may not always want to show it. It is hard at times. But he always helps us through it when we pray to make the effort.

justathought ....with love....

justmom

Are You A Screwed Up Adult Because You Were A Witness?

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