ExJW who was a former friend explains why she defriended me on FB

Broken Promises

She responded!

Her reply:

No, I don't think that about you at all, but I do think we should have respect for our parents, what they believe/d and what they tried to teach us. I freely admit I am not a Christian and I'm not living by Christian principles, but I do have great respect for Jehovah's Witnesses and for my mother.

Umm, ok

So I replied:

So being a fb friend with me would be disrespectful to your mother???

That doesn't make sense.

I deeply respect my parents and I know that they brought me up the best way they knew how. However, this doesn't mean I can't examine those beliefs and chose to leave. Talking to other former members is not being disrespectful to my parents. If I thought that was the case, I wouldn't be talking to you, would I? :)

Speaking of your mother, I remember her talking about once being an Adventist. Is her leaving the Adventists and talking to others about her experiences about being an Adventist disrespectful to her parents, (using your logic)?

Please be assured I am not trying to be smart, but just trying to understand your reasoning.

It's getting late so I'll bid you adieu for now. Good night :)

leavingwt

Broken Promises: Being friends with you could mean losing her mother. If the choice is between choosing you or her mother, you'll lose every time.

lifestooshort

leavingWT... Thank you for your input! Your posts not only highlight larger issues but help me understand human behavior.

Lozhasleft

Good for you BP...excellent straight talking.

Loz x

sabastious

Since I'll be seeing you on Saturday [at her sister’s wedding who is also an exJW], I thought I should let you know why I removed you from my friends list and didn't accept your last request. I did this because I saw you were in an ex Jehovah's Witness recovery group. I may have left the Witnesses but I still respect them highly and believe they teach the truth. My time with them was a very positive one and I'm grateful for the things I learned while I was there. I only left because my heart just wasn't in it.

EX Jehovah's Witnesses only expose the Watchtower as not the sole channell of Christ to mankind. Your friend has the same opinion or else her reference to them having the truth would be that they have the only truth. In that case she would be heading towards eternal destruction as her heart is not in the only truth. It's eerie to see someone just not making sense like that. It's like when they talk they just spark and sputter a bit and eventually burst into flame.

-Sab

Finally-Free

Personally, I like having friends who believe differently than me or disagree with me on different things. It gives birth to many stimulating conversations. (not arguments). It helps me to keep an open mind and understand alternative perspectives.

The best way to stifle personal growth is to surround yourself with clones, as the JWs do.

W

redvip2000

You friend as usual displays the normal faulty logic that is enbedded in most of JWs beliefs and trains of thought.

Nothing of what she says makes sense, and yet she is not able to discern that. Still some of us wonder why many of JWs are not able to see the fault logic in the organizational beliefs. Well folks this is exactly why - how can she see that fault logic in the Org, when she can't even discern the blatant ridiculous logic in her argument? Need we say more?

Some people simply aren't very bright, and i've come to grips with that

NewChapter

I get what LWT is saying but. . .

It still doesn't make sense. She is living with her boyfriend, and has admitted to not being a christian or living a christian lifestyle----and this is repecting her mother how? Obviously she has decided that respecting her mother does not mean giving up her self-determination. So why this? Why now?

If she is going to let her mother's beliefs control her actions now, then how does she explain all that?

NC

wha happened?

yea this is weird, but I've had this happen to me as well. I knew a sister who had stopped going to meetings in the late 90's. We dated a little. But even though she hadn't knocked on a door in 5 years, rarely attended meetings and didn't go to any of the assemblies, We didn't have intercourse but we obviously were involved, she had issue with my viewpoint of the witnesses. We would speak every now and then but she would staunchly defend the 'dubs if it came up. I think our last conversation had to do with education and 'dubs and I got tired of getting preached at, from someone who hasn't knocked on a door in 15 years.

So I feel there is a large group of these inactive 'dubs who still feel very strongly they are a JW, and defend it. They may even be involved in something that would result in their removal from the congregation, but they defend it

av8orntexas

Wow BrokenPromises,

Sorry to hear that. I thought I was the only person who encountered this strange behavior by some.

Except I tried to date a former sister,who by JW standards was beyond saving. When I met her she was tatted up,some what heavy into drinking, and had done heavy drugs. But she had gotten back into school, getting her life together.

SHE invited me to a bar. We had a great time. And then abruptly...she dropped me and defriended me on FB. I guess my not attending meetings, and basically fading lifestyle were too bad an influence for her. She was looking down at ME ! People like this are the MOST infuriating of all witnesses,ex witnesses,or dubs.

I think they TRULY need mental help. I used to try to reason with her at the time. But it is of no use.

People like that in my mind just need professional help. It's the ultimate denial, and defies logic .

Shows how messed up in the head the wtbs can make some people.

Like you BP I have never been DF'd, DA'd or any trouble. While she had been DF'd. Its like whaaaaaat ?

ExJW who was a former friend explains why she defriended me on FB - and my response!