ExJW who was a former friend explains why she defriended me on FB - and my response!

by Broken Promises 44 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  sabastious

  The rant about her brother surprised me. Obviously there's more than meets the eye.

  Yeah what the heck what that? Did she accuse the apostates as shunning Witnesses?

  -Sab
• 

  cantleave

  I deleted my JW FB friends before they deleted me!
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  Amelia Ashton

  I have 2 accounts. One for proper friends ie, you lot and the other account which is pretty much inactive for all the "conditional" fair weather friends still in dubby land.
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  steve2

  BrokenPromises - a fantastic second reply to your "friend". I've no doubt you've raised in her mind some relevant questions.

  While there are some who have left the organization who lose all sense of perspective and come across as truly hating the witnesses, your "friend" has fallen into the convenient trap of tarring every ex-JW who joins a forum with the same brush. That way she doesn't have to think too much about matters and can always delude herself into believing that because she's not investigating her former beliefs, she is somehow "better" than you.
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  aquagirl

  I think that people who really believe the JW dogma and do do it,dont really understand the dogma at all..After all,isnt part of the JW 'creed' that you be either one way or the other? I mean,If I KNEW that something was right,and wouyld SAVE MY LIFE and all that,Id do it.Wouldnt you?I mean,really believed it. I dont buy it.There has to be another reason why she isnt a Dub.
• 

  av8orntexas

  aquagirl,

  We are talking about witnesses. I think many are truly delusional. After being in that religion for a while,most are really delusional.

  What many in normal society would consider in need of mental help or therapy.

  I can't think of any rational explanation or the logic behind such a person actions, other than they should be seen by a professional. Or leave the organization at once and detox from the rules and regulations of the wtbs
• 

  steve2

  Acquagirl - I so agree with you. Those who leave due to apathy or (shock, horror) "sins of the flesh" have seldom bothered to think things through from a doctrinal and policy point of view. On the surface they are no longer in the organization but just below the surface their automatic JW mode swings into action: They become defensive, outraged and upset when another ex-JW suggests to them that maybe the organization is in error.

  These ex-JWs have simply never investigated their beliefs in the first place. They can "break" moral codes, but they'd never check out the teachings. They also seem a bit on the self-righteous side as in, "I may have been disfellowshipped because of my substance abuse problems, but I know I can always go back once I've got my drinking sorted and at least I'm not critical of Jehovah's organization".

  As an earlier poster nicely observed, "Body out (of the organization), brain still in". And what a brain: Dull and gullible. Quick pass me another drink!
• 

  No Room For George

  Marvelous responses BP.
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  Broken Promises

  In conclusion:

  Her reply:

  Well, it's a relief to know you don't hate them. That's what I was most concerned about. I just was puzzled as to what you thought you needed to "recover" from and yes, I did make assumptions, although I'm sure there would have to be haters in there as well.
  
  I am sorry you thought I was likening you to my brother. It's not what I intended. He's in a class of his own and I hope no-one is like him! His attitude makes me really sad. Mum has done so much for him and doesn't deserve to be treated like that.

  Me:

  There are all sorts of people in those groups. Some just want someone to talk to about their experience being a JW, and it's easier to talk to others who have been JWs than neverbeen JWs. Otherwise they'd constantly be explaining terms like "Kingdom Hall", "pioneering", "Kingdom ministry school" etc. Some go there to remininse about the past - like how things have changed. They might post pics from the past assemblies and we have a giggle over how fashion has changed! And some ppl didn't have a good experience being a JW. Some were sexually abused by elders or MS - they need support, naturally.

  [I then go on to discuss personal stuff relating to cancer in my family and hers.]

  Her reply:

  Thanks for explaining all that. I appreciate it. And thank you too for your best wishes regarding Mum. We're staying positive and hopeful.
  
  Sending you a friend request.
  
  See you at the wedding!

  Or should I say, accepting yours!
• 

  Broken Promises

  PS. Aquagirl:

  I feel the same as you. If you fully believe it's "the Truth" then why not do everything in your power to be a JW? Even if you feel that you can't meet all the standards expected of you, at least try.

  But my friend is not the first exJW I've encountered to say that and I know she won't be the last, sadly