Why Elders leave the Organization and why their Wives stay. (page 3)

AllTimeJeff

Now that I think about it, elders, bethelites, missionaries are in the best position to see the rot. It's the 10 hour and under flock that don't ever get to see the rot firsthand.

Thats what did it for me. Elder at 26, Gilead/missionary at 30. Former JW at 31.

The issue that I don't think the gb will ever be able to solve is, they can't micro manage elders. They can only hope to brainwash them. If that fails, any man these days is going to do research (as I did) and then have to make a decision, cynically stay and sell your soul, fade, or leave.

I blew up the bridge and left.

Until you see the rot, you simply in most cases can't believe it's their. Trust me, it's as rotten as can be.

mrquik

I left the ex there. Seemed to work out just fine. Other than that weekly check I write to her.

wha happened?

I really feel for the wives of elders. They have to share their husband to an organization that will not back them on their decisions should they become legal. Also, all those evennings preparing or dealing with publishers. And unfortunately, a lot of elders let the position get to them and just become a-holes. I hated watching the transitions of my friends from publishers, to servants, to elders. They went from regular guys, to judgmental idiots

Mary

Blondie said: Maybe a woman's social life in the Borg keeps her there. I may have a prejudice but I find that many men in the Borg, don't care as much and readily find new friends.

Bingo. The vast majority of sisters have never worked outside the home and women are generally far more concerned with the social aspect of the congregation then what their hubbies are. Therefore if the husband tries talking to them about some of the doctrines, the wife might initially listen but as soon as it contradicts what she's read in the WT, the warning signs go off because she does not want anything as threatening as 'apostasy' penetrating her social life so she declares "I don't want to talk about that." She's got her parents, her siblings, her children and alot of life-long friends in this religion. If she were to leave, she's have nothing except being labelled as an "apostate" and she's not prepared to do that.

Greybeard

Hi SIAM and thank you for the article!

I can totally relate to what you said and understand how you feel. However, I believe this scenario not only applies to "Elders" and their "wives" but all who were apart of the orginazation. Why do I say that? I never did aspire to become an "Elder" myself although I was probably more "qualified" than many I knew. I spotted the hypocrisy and arrogant self-righteous attitude of many "Elders" at a very young age. Even though I could see this hypocrisy I still believed this was "Gods organization" so being a JW was not easy for me. Much of the time I was depressed because of the things I saw in the org and the way I was treated by so called "Elders". I was related to many "Elders" and "Ministerial Servents". My father, father-in-law, brother were all elders. I soon figured out that I never wanted to be one and play that game. Even though this was my atitude I still was very active in service and was very good at the door believing I was taking part in a "life saving" work. I just figured God would take care of the hypocritical "Elders" in his own time and the "first will be last and the last first" in the end...

So what I am getting at is this is not only an "Elder" problem. My wife still believes in the JW/org and so do my children. I have noticed that there are also many women who have woke up on their own to the facts about JW's. I personally know of two women whose husband's were "Elders" and still believe the JW/org. Could it be that woman are more loyal in general? Has not the JW/org brain washed them into submiting to their husbands in everything? I know as a JW husband I myself blindly enforced my headship over my wife. Women are bombarded with this in the JW/org from all sides. They hear it from the platform at the hall and then they hear it at home and possibly more from a arrogant self-rightouse "Elder" who claims to be appointed by God. Now please do not get me wrong, I am not slaming you or anyone else who was an "Elder". I just feel that some who were former "Elders" still view themselves as different from the rest of us who were not. They seam to be proud of the fact they were "Elders". I am proud of the fact I never became one and chose not to play their hypocritical games.

With love for all here,

Your brother in Christ,

Greybeard

Conan The Barbarian

In my discussions with any appointed man, MS or Elder on why they either "stepped down" or left varies on the person. With many it was not only the work and gradual realization that much of what they were taught was incorrect, but being shaken down twice a year by the Circuit Overseer. In addition, dealing with the Body of Elders is tiresome to say the least. Many Elders in these bodies are blatently incompetent and make the work at hand harder than it needs to be. Disputes and disagreements are common place. I agree that the women will hang in there longer than a man will. The socialization factor is certainly central. The second is that women will generally endure problems with their belief system longer than a man will. I know many, many older sisters who are in good standing who all think and will openly articulate the position that "I don't want to grow old in this sytem", are really affraid that Armageddon is actually many years off, and they will have to plan to die "in this system of things", while being taught the exact opposite. Its a problem brewing for the WTS.

AllTimeJeff

Me ex is still a JW. She stayed because as she said at our Gilead intro, 'my family is the brotherhood now.' which turned out to be the case, as she wanted the 'brotherhood' over a marriage.

I have been lonely since, but I had no desire to pretend to believe in something just to keep my friends. The ex was different.

I agree with Blondie and Mary. (as usual)

Greybeard

Good points Conan,

I like what you said here, " I agree that the women will hang in there longer than a man will. The socialization factor is certainly central. The second is that women will generally endure problems with their belief system longer than a man will."

That is so true in my opinion. Women in the congregation have to follow imperfect men everyday! some women go door to door everyday while few men show up. Then when they do, they must follow whatever bozo male is there no matter his age as long as he is baptized. A woman must mentally prepair herself for this male dominated org. I believe this is one of the reasons they are more likely to follow the JW/org right or wrong.

Greybeard

One more point,

The JW/org doesn't deserve any credit for training "Elders" who have finally learned the truth about the truth. The training the "Elders" recieve is to blindly follow the "slave" no matter what and NEVER question or investigate thier teachings. Do no research on the borg is their command and from what I hear, they have started to remove all old books from the Kingdom Halls.

So if you were a former "Elder" give credit to yourself for learning TTATT. (The Truth About The Truth) and most of all to your father in heaven (if you still believe in him)

Disillusioned Lost-Lamb

Some people fear change.

They stick with what's familiar.

Why Elders leave the Organization and why their Wives stay.

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