by stuckinamovement 72 Replies latest jw friends
"Take the time to think and plan. And remember to close the browser window when you're done. ..." Billy the Ex-Bethelite
And to delete your browsing history, as well.... Can usually be done from the browser window JUST before you close it... The "tools" section...
Zid
Just wanted to add my sympathy to Sickandtired and PaintedToeNail. Awful situations for you both. Sending warm hugs.
Great thread.
Loz x
Ditto with what dear Loz says above, I feel so sorry for anyone in the postion of having the love of their life trapped in the WT cult. I wonder if it would be an idea for you guys to PM the ones who equal your loved one perhaps, but have woken up.
To give too many details on open forum is silly, but via PM you could outline your partners personality etc and maybe receive pointers from similar personality types who have woken up.
It is not easy though, the trigger for everyone is different, and even the right trigger to start the person on the road to freedom will not work if they simply are not ready.
I wish you all good luck, and may you continue to have the strength to keep trying.
Lots of valid points. I can only give my 2p - becoming an elder for me a real eye opener. The first elders meeting I went to was like an out & out war , with obvious cliques in place. The PO could see that I was astonished & took me aside afterward to tell me that it wasn't always like this & that there were problems in the body that would be ironed out in time. He was wrong - in the 3 congregations I served in over the next 15 years I saw exactly the same issues and attitudes repeating themselves. Elders wives aren't exposed to that first hand , though doubtless they often get the juicy pillow talk after the meetings.
I can't help but think of an elder & his wife who are good friends. Talk to them during or after an assembly & she is in heaven - virtually in a post orgasmic trance! He volunteers in a difficult assignment & hates it & wants to go home asap. If he knew that it was all false ( he suspects it already , but admits that he doesn't want to open pandoras box) he would leave in a heartbeat - but I just don't see his wife ever leaving.
A simple factor is also in play - invariably JWs now are 2nd / 3rd generation so invariably any female JW has to contend with her loyalty to her parents. It is very difficult for them to hurt them or upset them. Certainly in my case if it wasn't for my wife's parents , she would long ago have stopped attending.
finally awake
I DID ASK FOR RIDES HOME!!! You would not believe how RUDE and hateful some of the so called friends can be. So just flat out refused and I lived on their way home all they had to do was slow the car down and I would have jumped out, but no they always said NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
One time this MS and his son who lived right across the road from us, I asked for a ride home with him but his wife had missed the meeting that night she was always missing meeting and most of the time kept the boy with her so I never asked because I did not want to ride alone with the husband and we lived half an hour from the hall but this night since the boy was with him I thought it would be OK. I was so excited to be able to go home early that I forgot I did not have my keys to my trailer that we lived in. we had only one car at the time and since my husband drove I had left my keys at home. It was not until we got on our road that a realized it and my heart sunk. The brother looked panicked but said that is OK you can stay in the living room until your husband get home which was usually was about midnight or latter.
So I was sitting in their living room not making a sound trying not to breath and all of a sudden I heard the wife screaming I DO NOT WANT THAT WOMEN IN MY HOUSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now this was in MS who became an elder the next CO's visit. The wife came down looking like a witch and screaming at me about how stupid I was and to go wait at my trailer. It was one of the worse nights ever.
The next time I got brave enough was with this couple who lived right on the way to our house it was not out of their way in the least they had to pass our home on their way but they just went on and on and on and on about what a huge favor they were giving me. I never asked for a ride home after that it was not worth it.
Sorry for being upset with about but it really hurt.
LITS
lits, it's ok.
I used to drive alot of people to KH, and home.............. none of them were gratreful, none of them paid for gas, and if I had to miss a meeting these persons would bad mouth me on their way to get a ride from someone else.
one of these was 60'ish woman, and would never ride in the front with me, I looked like a taxi driver (like I was gonna rape her)
dozy- I had the same experiences as an elder.
Thanks DaCheech
It is just one of my real hurts in this stupid religion. I never got rides to meetings with out having to beg and give money for gas etc. I remember one sister who lived two house away from me when I was just 19 living on my own for the first time and did not have a car, I was barely making it on my part time job, well on the way to meeting this sister looks at me and says my car does not run on air you know. I was mortified. I walked to the meetings which were over three miles away until I could scrape up enough money to give to her for gas. She drove with an empty car to the hall, it was just not even safe for me to be walking at night yet the elders could care less.
Yet once I got married and my husband was an elder it was demanded of us to haul people everywhere. We had to go miles out of our way pick up ones to take to meetings and field service these people would demand that we take them on their calls which were miles and miles out and Never gave us a dime for gas, it was like they were doing us a favor in fact they would even expect that we feed and water their kids if we got stuck with them, buying them things at Starbucks and the kids always looked for the most expensive thing on the menu. And if I dared to say something I was shot down as not being a good JW.
I was like how come I am treated like crap and yet I am suppossed to give and give.
It just hurts stil.
LITS
I never asked for $$$.
I was once talked to in the back room for buying a 2 door semi-sports car
Finally Awake ...Two reasons for not getting a ride home.
1. Growing up in rural WI, alll the elders lived between 20-60 miles from the hall. We lived 20 west of the hall. There was not anyone to take my mother and 4 siblings home on Thursday night. No one else lived even remotely close to us. In the 70's we were a one car family.
2. As an elder's wife, I had a husband that had no concept of time. Everytime there was an elder meeting after the service meeting, he would always say "It will only be 5 minutes, I promise."
