Jehovah Won't Hear Your Prayers!

by Smoldering Wick 32 Replies latest jw friends

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  Smoldering Wick

  While I was getting reaquainted with the friends, an elder came up to me and in front of everyone there started asking me questions about why I had not been to the meetings. He then told me that if I did not get reactivated that I would die soon at Armaggeddon.-jschwehm

  Isn't it funny how JWs lose all sense of reason when it comes to judging people? They are taught over and over that the proper way to judge someone is to take them aside and do it privately. lol

  I really think when they see someone they admire or view as spiritual or intelligent leave the Organization it scares the Armageddon outta them. They are fearful, and their own faith is challenged. (Wow, if "so-&-so" left the "truth" I could be next!) In order for our leaving to be justified in their minds...they have to think of us as wicked or that we just went wacko. (no other explanation will do)

  Wick
  (of the wickedly wacko class)
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  Tammie

  just testing again.

  
  The truth can never be hurt by a lie,
  but a lie can be exposed by the truth.
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  Adonai438

  Very good ,smoldering!
  Funny how it's always out of 'love' that the JWs get irrational and angry. Why is it such a threat to read the Bible to them or even some of their own literature? Oh yeah, because they are misled!
  It's alway such a personal thing with them. I guess it's because if you are right then they know that means they are wrong- they can't look at anything impartially. <>< Angie
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  Will Power

  This will show how niave (sp.?) and equal rights (hahaha) oriented & stupid I was.

  I agreed to have an elder over to answer some of my "questions" - set the record straight. I am not a jw but they had invaded my family.
  I also invited a 3rd party over for an objective opinion (& to keep me on track).

  I announced that he could put his bible away because my questions were not scriptual but ethical. (eyebrows)

  I then asked if I could start with a prayer I had written, but didn't really wait for show of hands. The prayer was a bunch of bible quotes strung together in prayer-like fashion asking for guidance during our discussion. ie.: "whenever 2 or 3 are gathered in my name, I'll be there" , "ask me anything and I will do it" "every knee will bow" (both passages - Son & Father) etc.

  Oh yeah, I forgot to mention, I have breasts.

  Well I wasn't prepared for the reaction. I thought he was offended because of the things I was saying. I had the impression that the scriptures were controversial but what I didn't understand was that it was more because I was a woman! It wasn't till later that I read the WT discussing the smaller brains that women have and that the 2-3 "special" days of the month proves that women are inferior. Put that together with the male mentality of the bible and my equal rights were put in their "rightful" place.

  Why isn't this ever before the courts? Equal rights - Men Only? Witnesses in good standing only?

  I was raised that it was ok to show my love for God, openly, privately, formally, informally, whenver - boy, girl never ever entered into my mind. My questions (as a kid & adult) were never stifled. Maybe the tough ones were sidestepped (only made me more curious which was encouraged) but I was never asked to leave and had my prayer priviledges taken away. Who has that right?

  My heart goes out to anyone who BELIEVES their sincere prayers NO LONGER go to the acceptable "place".

  Another position for the rape of the soul.
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  Will Power

  P.S.
  What about female annointed? If they are good enough to rule with Christ at the end as part of the 144,000 priests, kings or however the story goes, why are they good enough while on earth? Why isn't there a female GB member, or is that not politically correct?
  What will happen when there are only female annointed left alive - women do statistically live longer - What will that do to the faithful & discreet slave thing?
  Sorry off topic, but I'm sure some might be
  "praying for the end of time" !
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  sf

  Thank you SW for taking the time to respond.

  This makes me nervous, and I'm taking a big risk, yet here goes:

  This summer marks 25 years of "disfellowshippment" for me. At that horrid time and day that I was thrust out into the world by myself, I wasin alot of pain yet felt free at last. I had left it all (of what i could recall) behind me. So I had thought. I was driven, by my mom, miles away from my hometown, which I loved passionately and dropped off. (there is so much detail to my experience that i will leave out on purpose)

  I don't recall the entire judicial committee process or meeting of my "disfellowshippment". It is blocked. I have tried hard to recapture it. I take pride in my photo-memory, yet that process that led to my being cast out and the actual j.c. meeting are buried deep.

  The ONLY words I do recall, and that will burn inside me (tears are welling up now because this IS the Core of my pain andi'm taking a huge risk coming out from behind my "masonry" to reveal it here...it's very scary) were those of the man, who my mom married two years after HE disfellowshipped me: "jehovah is no longer is in your heart. When you pray to him, he will not hear you any longer. Only satan is in your heart now and only he will hear you. You are now of satan".

  It stung then and it burns in me now. I have been so spritually mutilated by that organization of MEN'S UTTERANCES that I know in my heart I will never heal over those words. Or the fact that my mother went along with any of it and cast me out of her life in amatter of hours. (crying) Nor will I ever be able feel about "god" the way I once used to as a young girl. All of that is shattered. I hate the concept of "god" now. I have such hate for it.

  I don't reveal these things about my experienceto gain anything from anyone here. I did it so the lurkers will know they aren't alone in their burning pain.

  My mother DID love me. That I knew as a young girl. What her actions spoke to me that day can never be expressed in words of how that love turned to rejection simply due to her loyalty to a book publishing corp. And her fears for her own "salvation". You'd have to be inside my soul to get any idea of what it feels like.

  SW, here is a hug for you and your pain that may still burn inside of you; as the wick that you are. I get your name now.

  Sincerely sKally, hitting the submit button with great hestitation and fear...and possible regrets (this is so hard)

  If man was supposedly created in gods image, then.....holy krap...we're all doomed.-sKallyWagger
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  JWinSF

  Hi Smoldering Wick,

  I really enjoyed your post. The sad thing is, that the type of "uplifting talk" that the Elder provided you when you visited his home is all too frequently the norm. After leaving the JWs I was able for the first time to realize that they are just about the most judgmental of any of "Christian" religions. Smug, arrogant, Pharisees. Funny, I prayed several very specific prayers to Jehovah regarding whether I should stay in the religion or leave it. The answers all came out to leave it. So, so much for their sanctimonius preaching that only those remaining within the Organization get their prayers heard by God.
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  Sam Beli

  sf,

  Thank you for telling us something about the source of your pain. It does help us understand where you are coming from.

  I am concerned that after 25 years it still hurts you so much, but then ladies are often closer to parents, especially to mothers than guys are. At least, that has been my experience.

  My own, most hurtful JW experiences are also about 25 years old. They still hurt, but much less so, mostly because I have been able to move away from the city where the hurtful experiences occurred and from my JW parents. A recent letter from my dad asked if I liked my apostate friends more than “Jehovah’s people?” he has no idea really about what my activities are; he does know that I no longer hold the GB in high esteem like he does.

  For you, sf, it appears that it is nearly impossible to get rid of the hateful influence that hurt you so much those 25 years ago. I can’t imagine how your mother could marry the guy who was so ignorant as to say to you the things you mentioned.

  Certainly, I do not know enough about your situation to offer any advice. Just remember this: that many of us here are anxious to see you mend, to heal and to have the pain subside. Sometimes talking about it helps and you have begun that here. Keep it up as you feel safe in doing so. E-mail those whom you trust and pour out your heart if you whish. I’m sure many of us are willing to hear and help. Many of us have been hurt by the elders and others and we can provide a sympathetic ear.

  Thanks Wick for bringing up this useful thread.
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  sf

  Thank you Sam.

  As JWinSF mentioned above his own experience re: this issue, other elders HAVE said this to the disfellowshippee. That's all I wanted to KNOW and have them admit to it. Not many have, as I can see, yet it has been uttered by many.

  I am not alone in this, and that feels good to know.

  I have alot of info to paste up now and need to get to it. I've sent out the San Fan Andre case to my media sources thus far.

  Thanks again for your time, sKally

  If man was supposedly created in gods image, then.....holy krap...we're all doomed.-sKallyWagger
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  Smoldering Wick

  I've thought a lot about writing a book entitled "Disposable People." Over the last four years I have heard so many stories how people were discarded like cheap plastic razors when they left the Watchtower Organization.
  sf writes:
  

  This summer marks 25 years of "disfellowshippment" for me. At that horrid time and day that I was thrust out into the world by myself, I wasin alot of pain yet felt free at last. I had left it all (of what i could recall) behind me. So I had thought. I was driven, by my mom, miles away from my hometown, which I loved passionately and dropped off. (there is so much detail to my experience that i will leave out on purpose)

  I am truly sorry for all the pain that you felt then and over the past 25 years. Being thrown away like unwanted trash by someone you loved and trusted implicitly is unforgivable. What was more unforgivable was that your mother was taught she had to throw you away.

  Unfortunately, my mother was guilty of the same crime. My sister and I were baptized together in 1974. I was 9 she was 14. My sister, a beautiful girl, was embarrassed to wear dresses to the kingdom hall as she was no longer a girl, but developing into a woman with a woman's figure. We lived in "gang territory" on the Mexican border...being blonde & blue eyed...it was hard to keep a low profile. To compound this, my sister was raped and left for dead on a Mexican beach when she was 17. During this time, my mother (a widow) married a brother in the hall (also a widower). My sister, almost 18 at this time, did not take to his authority too well. We had pretty much raised ourselves already. When she turned 18, my stepfather (with my mom's nod) gave her $100 and told her to have a good life. Because she did not attend the meetings regularly, she was no longer welcomed in their home. Being raised a witness...not being allowed to go to college, or even work (too much independence), she was taught no survival skills. She was thrown away.
  

  My mother DID love me. That I knew as a young girl. What her actions spoke to me that day can never be expressed in words of how that love turned to rejection simply due to her loyalty to a book publishing corp. And her fears for her own "salvation". You'd have to be inside my soul to get any idea of what it feels like.

  I can understand what it feels like, I watched it happen in my own family. Although, I myself am not totally rejected at present...I am not accepted either. I am also a victim of conditional love. I too am disposable.

  Wick
  (of the bic razor class)