by Smoldering Wick 32 Replies latest jw friends
sf,
I am very sorry to hear of your painful experience. What was said to you was abusive and wrong and should never have happened. That elder was wrong to tell you what he said, and I'm sorry it still hurts you all this time later.
A real lesson to us all that words can hurt.
SW,
I feel much better right now about revealing what I've been holding in for all these years, thanks to you, Sam Beli and Seeker, who tapped the nerve/scar in the other thread. (although the motherlode of my pain stems from way before she ever got involved in that ROT and the "relationship" I experienced with my father at early early childhood...a photographic memory isn't always a good thing, ya know?)
Last night as I read seekers post, I was eating my dinner and nearly fell into my plate crying. He was nailing the core and then Sam hit the nerve on the head which caused me to go into breath-taking crying spell in the bathroom. I simply couldn't respond last night. I cried myself to sleep feeling that I had just made some sort of breakthrough and that revealing it WAS a good thing.
I saw your post SW, this am and my first reaction was relief. Not sure why. Yet I felt a great weight lifted off me justby seeing the words in the thread. Thank you for the therapy. {{{{{hugsto you for all your scars too}}}}
The relief I feel tonight is that I am now aware of the direction I need to go to get to the deeper level of this core and the motherlode of all cores.
Living daily with the paralyzing feeling of not being able to trust anyone and knowing that if you take the risk you can only blame yourself, is very imprisoning. Yet, it is safe in here; in these walls I've built. For now.
There are a few people here who I want to communicate on the phone with eagerly, and viseversa, yet cannot at this time. Just know I will be calling soon as I can.
Oh and incidently, just how many ex elders are on this forum?
sKally
If man was supposedly created in gods image, then.....holy krap...we're all doomed.-sKallyWagger
I do appreciate your words here seeker. Thank you
sKally
If man was supposedly created in gods image, then.....holy krap...we're all doomed.-sKallyWagger
You're welcome.
It sounds as if you did have a breakthrough of sorts, and may be able to heal all the more as a result. I hope so. You deserve better than what you've gotten.
Peace.
Will Power
What about female annointed? If they are good enough to rule with Christ at the end as part of the 144,000 priests, kings or however the story goes, why are they good enough while on earth?First, let's review: You're a non-JW with breasts, and I'm a JW without breasts. Okay? Okay!
I think that you've hit on an extremely important point -- regarding the idea of the female of the species being of the "chosen" class (Matthew 24:22; the 144,000 that are to rule with Christ). I did for a fact think about the very point you bring up, a few years ago as a matter of fact. Of course, unlike you, I'm of the opinion that no woman was EVER intended/destined to become a member of such anointed ones. Is it not particularly noteworthy that those chosen to be apostles were ALL men?
But like you too reason, something is certainly amiss IF it were true that certain women are destined to become co-rulers with Christ ... but yet PRESENTLY don't qualify for such things as representing the congregation in prayer. Which is the lesser responsibility? I think the answer to that is obvious. But don't misunderstand me to be saying that I am at odds with the WTS's stance regarding the role of women today, because I'm not ... I too don't think women should do such things as represent the congregation in prayer or be appointed as elders and ministerial servants, etc.
Just mainly wanted to say that you brought up an interesting point; one that has troubled me in times past, and continues to do so. It just happens to be one of several doctrinal problems for the religion that I have no intention of forsaking (my signature might help you to understand why, in case you're curious).
Yadirf
Daniel 11:35 ... a KEY prophecy that must be fulfilled before the "time of the end" gets underway.
SKally,
Quote:
“Oh and incidently, just how many ex elders are on this forum?”
You and smolderingwick broke my heart to read your stories. I am one of those ex elders who was part of the ugly system. I am so sorry for what you both have been through. And so many years later it still hurts.
Let me tell you one of the reasons I’m out. About this time last year a sister was facing a JD for something that happened five years ago. I tried with WT references to convince the body of elders to let it go. Having failed, I volunteered (not supposed to but they usually use any sucker willing to volunteer) to be on the judicial committee. I hoped to try to mitigate the damage these yahoos were about to inflict on her.
Before we were able to meet with the sister she was on the phone talking suicide if her husband found out why we wanted to meet with her. In the meeting I tried to point out what kind of a good person she had been for the last five years. She really was a loving, giving type sister. Then brother Twoface, who felt she was not being honest with the committee, said: “If you don’t confess everything right now and get this all out in the open with the Judicial committee then God will NEVER FORGIVE YOU.” I then committed the ‘unforgivable’ sin of becoming her advocate. I spoke up in her behalf and told brother Twoface that he was wrong. “Her past sins were between her and God and we are only here to see if see is a danger to the congregation.”
The committee eventually voted for private reprove. The process did nothing for the congregation nor for this sister, except harm.
Brother Twoface was not going to let my insubordination slip by. When he could not get the Body of Elders to discipline me he spoke of writing the service department and the CO. He did eventually get the CO on my case which lead to my resignation, but over other issues.
I just want you injured ones to know I’m sorry. I wish I was never part of it and that I could have been there for you. Keep talking about it and working through your feelings Its good for all of us.
Jst2laws
Some people do not realize the power of words. Especially words that come from people we respect, love and who hold authority over us. Those hurtful words sf heard 25 years ago, she can still quote verbatim.
The interesting thing is that most of these people never intend to hurt us. They really think they are being helpful in some way or another, but we are wounded nonetheless.
This is from a young girl who was a victim of emotional abuse...
'...but words will never hurt me...'Words can do more than damage us emotionally:
by Jessica Dan
Age last edited: 12
New York, USA"Sticks and stones may hurt your bones, "but words will never hurt me."
This is a saying that has been around for ages and adults are always telling us this. But it is one of the biggest lies I have ever heard.
These sticks and stones hurt and injure your bones but this only lasts for a couple of minutes; your bones will eventually heal. But words hurt in two places that never heal: your heart and mind.
Words leave an open void in you, aching in pain forever. Words can make a confident person the most insecure person. A fun loving person can automatically be turned into a shy unhappy miserable person. They will never go away.
Harsh words affect people greatly more than any injuring punch or act of violence could do. They change a person's attitude towards life, they change the person.
So why insult someone?
You will soon forget it, but this person may never.
It will always be somewhere inside them, in a dark empty void.
In fact, hurtful words can haunt you all your life and may lead to heart disease, depression, suicide or stress, or even the aggression witnessed in the Littleton, Colo., shootings, says a University of Connecticut professor of anthropology. The words that come from people with power over your life, such as teachers and parents or peers you admire, have the most impact, says W. Penn Handwerker.Handwerker, a medical anthropologist, found that accusatory statements - especially those that start with "you" - are a factor that contribute to increasing rates of depression in the United States and often lead to serious health problems, especially for women.Jst2laws,
You and smoldering wick broke my heart to read your stories. I am one of those ex elders who was part of the ugly system. I am so sorry for what you both have been through. And so many years later it still hurts. I just want you injured ones to know I'm sorry. I wish I was never part of it and that I could have been there for you. Keep talking about it and working through your feelings Its good for all of us. Jst2lawsI realized that words of healing can be even more powerful. The words "I love you" and "I'm sorry"...can bring a person back to life.
My God, I am so happy I got away from the org before it was too late. I feel so sorry for all of you who went though this crap from your supposingly "family". Dubbish is a bunch of bogis bullshit. God would never treat his faithful this way. This is the work of a greater evil--man.
Jst2laws,
Thank you for your observations. I agree with what you have said above.
Hopefully, Wick and sf will find comfort and peace of mind with time and the healing that can come from talking here and elsewhere. We who were elders have much to regret. If we can now help an injured person heal, perhaps we can make-up for some of the hurt we caused in the past.
I hope so, for the sake of Wick, sf and all the other injured ones out there.
Thank you Sam and jst2for the ADMITTANCE that such things have been spewed by ex and not-so-ex-elders and for the apology on behalf of myself and others, even though it wasn't you who directly uttered the words. I accept.
sKally
If man was supposedly created in gods image, then.....holy krap...we're all doomed.-sKallyWagger
