FlyingHighNow and Morbidzbaby, thank you for these urgings of hope for memories to endure. The suggestion of a memory book sounds like it could be therapeutic for many of us. You are right about the memories of a child/teen of childhood loss versus the memories of a middle-aged woman for her child grown and now gone. You have helped me to think of it a little bit differently. I am a person who processes much of my emotion intellectually, and your analyses speak to me. Thank you.
Today we viewed Glendon's body at the funeral home. We had a two hour span to be with him. We could touch him and take time to say goodbye. As hard as it is to know that he is gone for good, that was helpful. I had some time with him alone before his wife and the rest of the family arrived, which I was grateful for. Tomorrow we accompany his body to the crematorium. They said at the funeral home that this is not generally done, but can be arranged, and I knew immediately that I must go with him on his final journey in this world. I will have his ashes in a beautiful urn. At this point, I cannot tell whether having them will be some kind of comfort or a constant reminder of the agony of his loss. The body of Deputy Sheriff Paris was being escorted by a contingent of his fellow officers to the crematorium just as we were arriving at the funeral home. I know that his family is also in deep pain over the loss that has been forced upon us all.
PaintedToeNail and others, thank you for your concern. We are getting the support we need, and Glendon's wife is especially cared for by the JWs. My husband and younger son and I are supporting one another with the help of extended family--my sister just arrived from the Midwest today and will be staying the week until Glendon's memorial. Many people in the community have also offered help and both men's funerals/memorials will be attended by hundreds.
Chicken Little, I am so glad that your son is still with you after the scary time you endured. It is a gift of immeasurable value that he is.