My son was murdered today (page 26)

tootired2care

Truman thanks for including us, and know that you are loved here.

Today was a hard day. I feel exhausted and miserable. Late in the afternoon, we accompanied Glendon's body to the crematorium and stayed as they placed him into the apparatus and closed the door. There is a finality there that was more stark than even seeing him laid out at the funeral home.

The day began with my sister and I shopping for something for me to wear to Glendon's memorial and the funeral of Dep. Paris. Since I left the JWs, my closet has gradually emptied of dress-up clothes. I had nothing suitable. Everywhere we went, I kept running into salespeople smiling and telling me to have a nice day or asking me how I am in that polite way that requires a formalistic reply to match the perfunctory question. I tried, I really did, but finally, I said to the lady who was handing out number tags at the dressing room entrance in Marshall's, "I've been better." I must have looked as bad as I was feeling because she did not just ignore my failure to respond as expected. She asked me if I was feeling ill. I told her I was shopping for funeral clothes. "The officer...?" she asked tentatively. "The locksmith," I replied " was my son." Suddenly she was not just an employee in a store handling routine matters, and I was not just another anonymous customer. Everyone in town knows about what happened. She hugged me and there was real human contact. It is a valuable thing. Still, even as I sit here at my computer trying to write, tears are falling on my keyboard and I feel so disconnected to everything. I really can't say anything more, except to keep thanking all who have posted here and who keep checking back on me. I appreciate the love, caring, and warm energies that are sent my way. I can only hope they will cling to me until I can absorb them. Today, I can only cry.

ohiocowboy

Truman, we are thinking about you every day, and are sending you warm thoughts. We are so sorry that you are going through this horrible time.

With Brotherly Love,

CJ and Dave

truman

Thank you, ohiocowboy. You are a wonderfully caring person. Thank you, too, talesin, laverite, and everyone else, including those who have had trouble posting on this last page due to technical issues. I had to go ahead and take a xanax after that post above, and I think it has taken effect because I can think a little more clearly now without breaking down again. My deepest appreciation to you all.

MidwichCuckoo

Truman - Just to let you know, you have been in my thoughts the past few days. I can't even begin to comprehend what you are going through.

jemba

Everyone that has posted here must feel the same.... I just cant stop thinking about you and your terrible sadness and what you must be going through right now, to lose one of my boys would be an unthinkable nightmare. He sounds like such a nice guy. Please be assured that myself and family and everyone on this thread is thinking about you often, sending you lots of hugs and love. xx

Jemba

sizemik

Suddenly she was not just an employee in a store handling routine matters, and I was not just another anonymous customer. Everyone in town knows about what happened. She hugged me and there was real human contact.

I just loved reading this . . . I'm sure everyone here would just love to do the same thing. As often as I see my sons I'm reminded of you.

Hang in there.

Chariklo

Truman, I've only just clicked on this thread.

I have tears in my eyes for you as I wroite this. So terrible. I'm so sad for you.

I'll be thinking of you.

Broken Promises

Let yourself grieve, it's better than keeping it in.

still thinking

You are still in my thoughts truman....

My son was murdered today

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