How Does Your Family/ Friends Treat You Now That You Are Not A True Believer?

by minimus 27 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Billy the Ex-Bethelite

  Recalling back when I was in bethel, most from the home congregation never kept in touch or visited while I was slaving for Hojovah. Usually, I'd just see them once per year when I came back for a visit. Now that I've moved away to university, I'm not surprised that none of them keep in touch, they're all to busy running on the JW treadmill.

  However, I'm closer to my siblings now, since we're all faded/fading. The family will all be getting together for a family dinner next weekend, so no lines have been drawn. I suppose I'll have to shave off my Van Dyke (goatee) for that weekend. Meh, I think it's time to get rid of it for the summer anyway.
• 

  Bubblegum Apotheosis

  @Time Bandit Sorry you are having to deal with the conduct of badly behaving non-christians. I will pray she sees the "light" and open's her numb heart, this kind of teaching plays on weak minds.

  @Blondie You applied yourself with your whole heart, mind and soul (hubby too) and you were treated like trash, why is there so much darkness with these robots? These men and women, have Bible-truth-cateracts and I am trying to learn how to help ones, seeking the "truth about the truth". What excuses did the "unconditional loving brotherhood" give, for their unchristian conduct to you both?
• 

  Bubblegum Apotheosis

  Metallica, Billy were you at Bethel when a dozen or so brothers were expelled for listening to Metallica? We had two Bethelites return to home base, saying "they were kicked out for listening to Heavy Metal, and refused to conform." Would Bethel really kick brothers out for listening to the wrong music, or was it something else?

  No more!

  the craps rolls out your mouth again

  haven't changed, your brain is still gelatin

  little whispers circle around your head

  why don't you worry about yourself instead

  who are you? where ya been? where ya from?

  gossip is burning on the tip of your tongue

  you lie so much you believe yourself

  judge not lest ye be judged yourself

  holier than thou

  you are

  holier than thou

  you are

  you know not

  before you judge me take a look at you

  can't you find somethig better to do

  point the finger, slow to understand

  arrogance and ignorance go hand in hand

  it's not who you are it's who you know

  others lives are the basis of your own

  burn your bridges build them back with wealth

  judge not lest ye be judged yourself

  holier than thou

  you are

  holier than thou

  you are

  you know not

  Metallica Holier Than Thou
• 

  minimus

  Imagine shunning a person as though they weren't even in existence! PHARISEEES!!!
• 

  00DAD

  I'm totally shunned. Once I ran into an elder in the supermarket. I was buying whole bean coffee and walked up to the grinder which he was leaning on. I didn't see him and didn't even know he was there until I tried to pour the coffee beans in the grinder. I was surprised and just naturally said hello!

  He said hello too and even shook hands with my new wife whom he'd never met before.

  Weeks later he called and told me I was wrong to "approach him" and say a greeting.

  I reminded him that I did NOT approach him, reminded him of the circumstances, said I was caught of guard and just reacted as a normal human. I also pointed out that if I was wrong to say hello, he was also wrong. I then pointed out that I was the "weak one" and he was the spiritually strong elder. If he could "forgive/excuse" his behavior then he should do the same for me.

  It used to make me feel like shit. No I realize that THEY are the ones that are messed up, completely whacked.

  The only painful part anymore is the fact that my sons are still in. One talks to me only sometimes, usually when he wants something, the other not at all in the last three years.

  Let's review: It's a cult!
• 

  minimus

  What did the elder say in response????
• 

  LongHairGal

  Minimus:

  Thankfully, I have no family in the religion. However, I am probably known in the few local congregations as somebody who is "inactive" for many years. Whenever I have encountered JWs in a store, they pretend to ignore me. I certainly don't go out of my way to make an attempt to talk because I have no desire to bother with them. I just have a pleasant expression on my face and go about my business. I am not embarrassed or uncomfortable in any way.

  These women weren't my friends 25 years ago so what does this all matter now? In truth, they are probably more curious about me than I ever could be about them.

  OODAD:

  I am sorry about your experience with that elder. You were both caught "off guard" but I consider this a victory for you.

  He was embarrassed for a couple of reasons: (1) because he got caught without his "self-righteous" suit on. Too bad. He was probably afraid you might tell somebody that "elder so-and-so talked to you". (2) Maybe HE's afraid somebody will get on him for not treating you like garbage. And, (3) he is probably vexed that you DON'T see yourself that way.

  In my opinion, this is really what is bothering many of them: that ex-JWs have good self-esteem, are no longer under the spell of the religion and don't care what anybody thinks!
• 

  00DAD

  minimus: What did the elder say in response????

  He said I "shouldn't make it hard on the brothers" to shun me. So again, it's my fault.

  LongHairGal, I think you're right. When they see that we're no longer "under their spell" it confuses and annoys them. Thanks for the encouraging words. It didn't feel like a victory at the time, but a beating. But it is beginning to feel like one now!

  Actually he had to spin it, because he was discussing this in front of two other elders so he HAD to try and make it look like my fault when in reality it was just a coincidence.