Can marriage survive infidelity?? (page 2)

Hmmm

My marriage would not survive infidelity.

I see what detective is getting at, but I think you should go ahead and offer Mike some revenge sex. Go ahead, you know you want to!

Hmmm
(If I aint gettin' any, I might as well help someone else get some)

Xander

My brother-in-law cheated on my sister, she then did the same(I have no clue why.

Makes me think of couples with an 'open marriage'. The idea generally is that if both parties are okay BEFOREHAND with the idea of their partner 'sleeping around', it can still work.

I'd probably be okay with such a thing too, if agreed to BEFOREHAND. (And by 'before hand,' I mean 'before the marriage'. Discussing having an open or closed marriage after the wedding is just bad form and probably would break trust - if you want an open marriage, make sure your partner does to before you get wed)

The important thing to remember, IMHO, is that marriage consists of more than just sex. It is a lifelong relationship/partnership built on a foundation of trust. Having sex with someone outside the marriage DOES NOT necessarily 'break' the marriage. Doing so WHEN THE OTHER PARTY EXPECTS FIDELITY and TRUSTS you to maintain it *does* break the marriage.

A fanatic is one who, upon losing sight of his goals, redoubles his efforts.
--George Santayana

WildHorses

xander, the only problem with that, is that they didn't have an open marriage. He cheated, she found out, then she cheated on him for revenge.

I feel this way about it. When you love someone, they should be all you need. Sex in a marriage is an expression of love. If I wanted to have sex with other men, I would not get married.

Lilacs

I don't want someone in my life I can live with. I want someone in my life I can't live without.

butalbee

She had a wonderful husband and she went and screwed it up with some little goofball at her work who just wanted to get laid. Yes, I am bias here, she's an idiot, Mike is a sweetheart, and she didn't know just how lucky she was. And NO I am NOT gonna have revenge sex with Mike--OMG!!!

Okay, truthfully, I've spoken to Mike more in the last 6 mths than Jamilynne. Mike DOES the grocery shopping, and I see him every week at my store. And he usually stops and talks to me for awhile.

Imbue

It's rare that men forgive women for cheating. Some women do forgive and try to make the marriage work. As for me and my household: I would cut it off and he knows I would.

Crazy is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

Xander

didn't have an open marriage. He cheated, she found out
Right...got that...that's why I said it 'reminded me of' not 'hey, here's an example of'

Sex in a marriage is an expression of love. If I wanted to have sex with other men, I would not get married.

*shrug* Okay, that's fair. Like I said, ground rules have to be laid out ahead of time. If that is how both parties claim to feel beforehand, and one then has sex outside the marriage, trust is broken.

A fanatic is one who, upon losing sight of his goals, redoubles his efforts.
--George Santayana

LB

Glad you cleared that up butal, so who are you going to have revenge sex with???

Never Squat With Yer Spurs On

bitter mango

Can marriage survive infidelity??

i've never seen it happen and i definately wouldn't stay in a marriage/relationship with a cheater .

Xander

Totally OT - wow, nice .sig mango, did you do that?

A fanatic is one who, upon losing sight of his goals, redoubles his efforts.
--George Santayana

JT

Okay, truthfully, I've spoken to Mike more in the last 6 mths than Jamilynne

#########

OK guys

i know everyone wants in on this one.

I will be the "BOOKIE" MC, VISA, DISCOVER cards are welcome

We are now taking bets on the two of them hooking up now

the point spread is 2-4 months from today, they will hook up

I'm sorry --i know that was cold --but i just had to get it out of my system, but i will say this to her

the situation that she has described, JUST ON THE SURFACE is ripe and waiting for a Hookup-
Hopefuly she can provide both of them the needed support to either rebuild their marriage or move on with thier lives-

but they will be up to them and how she offers to assist them in repairing their marriage

one thing is for sure and i think most perhaps would agree - these types of situation can be very tricky to handle for all parties involved

but i wish you the wisdom to give good advice and they have the common sense to accpet it and make a final personal choice as to what direction they want to go

I would not want to be in your shoes, but i'm sure that you will do just fine

james

Can marriage survive infidelity??

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