Can marriage survive infidelity?? (page 6)

safe4kids

Ahhhh butlabee,

That's called emotional manipulation and it's no wonder you are resistant to it...that's healthy!

It sounds to me like your friend is pretty messed up right now. You can still be supportive by encouraging her to get help, as she obviously is not seeing very clearly now. But please remember...it's very doubtful that Mike had NOTHING to do with what's happening now, so please be careful. You said that you didn't want to get involved but it seems as though you already are, very much so, and extricating yourself would be quite tricky. I'm referring to your emotional involvement with Mike, which is very clear from your posts. I'm not judging you in any way, please understand, just calling it as I see it. Again, please be careful...it might be a good idea to not talk to either of them for a day or so in order to give yourself some distance and perspective, just a thought.

Dana

butalbee

I think Jamilynne stole $$$$ I had in an envelope on my refrig. It's gone....I can't find it, okay, sometimes things at my house do seem to mysteriously vanish momentarily, but I can't find it anywhere. I had $300.00 in it, and it's no where to be found. I needed that $$ for car insurance. I'm not gonna pt the finger at her, until I rip my house apart searching for it, but she was the only one, beside my mother who came over in the last couple days.

I saw Mike at the store today shopping, and he looked horrible, like he hadn't slept in days, hadn't shaved, didn't dress as classly as he does, looked very depressed. Not like himself at all. She still hasn't went home, still with dickhead, I gather.

He asked me if I would like to go get a drink after work w/ him tonight, that he needed someone to talk to, I told him It would be better if he just called me on the phone. He hasn't called me yet.

LB

Lara be careful as you may very well be getting involved more than you realize. Mike is your friend and he is going to need comfort. He also may be thinking about the revenge thing. Just be sure you know what you're getting into.

Never Squat With Yer Spurs On

ladonna

Butalbee,

I have never been in this situation, but if I was, from what you have said...

We talked for about 45 minutes, and I got his side to the story. He says that she stopped sleeping in their bed, but on the couch, like two or three months back, and that everytime he tried to touch her, she would not respond. She hasn't been paying the bills, that he doesn't know what she does w/ the $$ he gives her for them, and that all their credit card are maxed out and have late charges. And when she's home all she does is sleep, she doesn't help w/ the housework, threw out all the dishes, so she wouldn't have to wash them, crazy crap like that. He said that he has pleaded w/ her to go see a shrink, but she shrugs it off. He said he asked her if she was seeing someone else, and she looked him in the eyes and said, "No, I love you". Not believing her, he taped her phone conversations, which I think is an invasion of her privacy, but I do understand why he'd do it: all the secrecy and her strange behavior started driving him crazy. Oh this is a good one: Mike bought her two dozen red roses for valentines day, and she cut all the flowers off the stems and just left the stems in the vase!!!!

I would support her right now. No! I would not cover for her, but this woman sounds like she is ill. This is NOT a woman acting like a "slut" whore" ect.....this is a woman who is in deep emotional turmoil.

Try not to judge her....hard to do, but there ARE two sides, and something shoved her over the edge.

Just my opinion.
Ana

PS.if my hubby to be cheated..he knows in advance...it's finni and same goes for me!

butalbee

UPDATE:
I just got off the phone w/ Jamilynne, she sounded drunk to me. She told me that she's not going back to Mike. I asked her if she knew what she was doing? And her answer kinda got me thinking about my own life....She said, "I woke up one day, and realized that I have wasted the last 6 yrs of my life, this isn't what I wanted to do w/ my life, this isn't who I wanted to be, I wanted to do so much, and what have I done? I work, I play house, I'm living a lie. I felt dead inside, and then I met Barny and boom, he opened my eyes to a whole new world."

I asked her if she knew what she was doing to her husband? She replied, "Mike is a good man, but he's boring!"

I said, "do whatever the F--- makes you happy, it's your life and I don't want to be in the middle of this. But you should call your husband up, do you think he's not worried about you? He at least deserves to know if you're alive or dead."

I hung up.

SixofNine

I work, I play house, I'm living a lie. I felt dead inside, and then I met Barny and boom, he opened my eyes to a whole new world."

Pathetic. I wonder what "world" that could possibly be. I don't wonder what her feelings will be in a year. I know that. The likelyhood of her thinking Barny is exciting a year from now is slim.

She must have read Scully's article on "easing nature", 'cause anyone so deeply full of shit can't have eased nature in many years.

Mike may well be the type of guy that alot of mentally stable women (not little girls with ovaries) are looking for. If so, he doesn't know it yet, but Jamilynne (even her name is irritating) did him a big favor.

AjaxMan

I said, "do whatever the F--- makes you happy, it's your life and I don't want to be in the middle of this. But you should call your husband up, do you think he's not worried about you? He at least deserves to know if you're alive or dead."
I hung up.

Well done, butalbee.

I feel sorry for Mike because I've been in the same boat as him. What you're doing with him is right: Keep it at a friendship level as I'd have to agree with LB's last post.

QUEENIE

it depends -- I am a very devout partner so I would not be unfaithful in that regard BUT should my male partner be unfaithful "hell hath no fury like the rath of a woman scorned" need I say more???? ((((((HUGS))))

Can marriage survive infidelity??

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