Welcome! You'll probably like this forum. There are very cool people here, and very knowledgeable too. It was so nice to discover that I wasn't the only one with the same questions, and this board is what gave me the push I needed. You can glean a lot of priceless info.
New here
by konceptual99 60 Replies latest jw friends
-
-
kimbo
they are the evil slave
-
smiddy
Hi Konceptual99
Welcome to the board,you have opened padoras box and their`s no going back,and that is not a bad thing.At present you are between a rock and a hard place,and that too is not such a bad thing. Once your mind has been set free ,how do you close it again? ,and do you really want to ?I sympathise with you, with family and freinds still captives , and you will need to tread carefully in these early stages of your emancipation. Take your time ...slowly...on what you will do next...think hard about it ...what it`s consequences may be ...what are you prepared to lose as regards so called freindships or relatives....weigh up whether you may just want to fade without making any issues/statements.....the important thing here is don`t act hastily and regret it later
I wish you all the best in your new life
smiddy
-
konceptual99
Thanks again for all the messages of support and welcome. I've also been looking at some stories of ones that have been in very similar positions and I can see so many of the same issues over and over again.
One of the reoccuring themes is that of a real lack of love and compassion from some of the elders. When I look at the local body they are far from perfect but I can think of many good qualities for each one. What I am sure of however is that all of them would hang me out to dry (however reluctantly) if could ever be accused of apostacy - the top down thinking ensures that any thoughts of trying to understand, contextualise and accept ones with doubts is completely blown out of the window if the so called weak one expresses any other sentiments than accepting what they know to be dubious at best or ignoring it on the basis of waiting for Jehovah. I've seen what happens when elders (let alone Joe Publisher) try and show true Christlike compassion that should overrule organisation edicts - it's not nice. All the comments on discretion are completely understood.
It's a great shame because right now I feel like I am being incredibly duplicitous and deceitful to my wife. She is liberal and open minded in many ways but is not ready to expand critical thinking to core tenents of her faith. I have much to study and meditate on myself so can understand why so many have advised to do that and make sure of my facts and thinking.
Thanks again for your thoughts.
-
jgnat
Hi, there. I was never a witness but I married one. During my investigation of the Watchtower beliefs, I took a critical look at my own. It led me back to something genuine...when I am confronted with a new belief I ask myself as you do, " does it make sense?"
This led to a cascading and re-evaluating of my whole belief system. A rollicking ride as I went through it, but I am much more confident today about what I believe and why. I think you will feel the same.
Be patient with your wife. She may have not gone through the same transforming experience so she may react with fear. Try small questions here or there.
-
Amelia Ashton
Welcome
-
Mickey mouse
Welcome. You sound a lot like my husband. I was the first to awaken and it was tough. We tried to walk the fine line of keeping family happy whilst not going against our conscience and supporting something we knew was at best wrong and at worst downright dangerous. I think if we didn't have children we may have pulled it off but even if you can lie to yourself, lying to your children is another thing. We are out now, not without consequences but doing the right thing isn't always easy.
-
cantleave
Please check your PM
-
Black Sheep
What I am sure of however is that all of them would hang me out to dry.....
That's easy to fix. Just don't ever talk about your doubts in their presence. The important people in your life are your family, not the cult leaders.
Be very careful talking to your family. They were listening to every warning in every magazine, book and public talk that taught you all how to recognise an apostate, and how to behave in their presence. As soon as you forget that in a conversation with any fellow cult member, you will set off their apostate alarm and trigger predictable behaviour. Don't kid yourself that your family is reasonable, or different. Unless they are already closet apostates, they will immediately go into damage control mode.
You might be able get away with a (note: a = singular) carefully crafted question, but expressing a doubt or offering an answer to the question is usually a mistake. Don't do their thinking for them.
-