hey kool jo thanks for the story. hope all is going well with the fade. i think you're doing a great job. moving away definitely helps big time.
out of curiosity, do you have a bnch of friends and such outside the society?
Was your fade easy or difficult? Let me know ur fade story
by dazed but not confused 35 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
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NewChapter
It was very easy for me. I had become quite ill and legitimately missed the meetings. This went on for 2 years, and I didn't make the meetings even when I could have---I had a doctors excuse. I woke up during this time (was away from the indoctrination) and knew I would never go back. Since I'd been sick and so many forgot about me anyway (if you aren't there, they don't have time for you. Don't buy the crap they say about supporting sick ones). So when I started to get better, nobody noticed or expected me.
They probably just figure at this point that I am spiritually weak. I don't know. No one has made an effort to really talk to me in two years. To be fair, I strongly discouraged it, and they simply responded. whew!
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biometrics
It was easy for me. I never got baptized.
When meeting or field service time came around I would make excuses such as "I don't think the JWs teach the truth", or "I'm tired of living a lie", and woudn't go. When elders come around to "visit" I ask questions they can't answer, and they leave very quickly.
Don't be afraid.
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OnTheWayOut
What brought me back....to JW's?
It's easy to say but tough to really deal with. Childhood exposure to JW's made it the only real religion I knew and I knew some of the errors of "Christendom " from a warped JW upbringing.
The suicide attempt was pulling the hair trigger of a 357 revolver in my mouth. There was no reason the gun should not have gone off. (Therapy helped me learn that I actually just touched the trigger and never "pulled" it.) I actually thought God prevented the gunfire and He let me know He was in charge of my life for awhile until I was able to take it back. My mother sent JW'S to me in the mental ward of a hospital and I knew God was doing that.
I went all the way from 1987 to 1995 and beyond without doubting the reality of God's intervention in my life.
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Kool Jo
@OTWO: I understand what you mean by being a JW growing up wasn't an option....really sorry to hear about the suicide attempt!
@RBIH: Yes, I do have friends outside the WTBS...you see, because I always had my doubts (I still went thru the motions) I made friends outside the WTBS....yes I went to college ect...it was indeed a eye opener even when I was younger to know that "wordly" people would be some of the most sincere & genuine persons out there...as a matter of fact, one of my closest friends is an agnostic...we just don't chat about doctrines, ect...
Peace
Kool Jo
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Nika Bee
For me it was more like e clean break, although that depends on the definition. I visited home last summer (my family lives in Germany, while I am a PhD student in the US). When I came back to the US, I just wanted to take a break of meetings just for a couple of weeks, because I couldn't stand it at that moment. It was easy: the congregation from here thought I was at home, and the home comgregation thought I was here.
Then I had a nasty bike accident. It is hard to explain, but this enabled me to acknoledge, what my subconsious must have known for a long time: that this is unhealthy and illogical and nothing I wanted to be part of. Maybe it was the fact that I felt alone and betrayed in a situation when I needed support. I hadn't turned in my field service hours for that month (which I usually did by email when I travelled). The brother emailed me and I told him I had an accident. He just replied, he didn't know that and I jsut should turn it in when I feel better. Nothing more. Noone ever asked how I was doing.
The following months I read a lot, mostly on the internet. I never went back, I never turned in a field slip.
The problem is, I don't know, what to tell my mother when she calls. Fortunately she italks so much on the phone, and hasn't yet asked too many questions. But they are bound to come up, I don't wnat to lie to her. Once I called my father, who never was a JW, it was our first really personal conversation. It was good to tell him about my decision.