I was so depressed during my JW youth that it would have been unimaginable for me to even think that I had a future in this world let alone in the organization. As they say, back then my future was foreshortened.
That the system survived and that I also survived will always be the most miraculous aspects of my life. Surviving the odds builds self-confidence and the ongoing legacy for me is an extremely well-developed bullshit barometer: No book or no one can ever again panic me into believing the end is nigh - although I healthily accept that my own life is finite.