Yesterday was my Son's 21st Birthday (page 2)

slimboyfat

That's awful 00DAD, I hope it improves.

Surely you understand JW culture enough to know that certain actions and behaviors that might be ok when both parties are JWs are now instantly out of the question, once someone gets DF'ED? Or were you thinking you'd be different?

If you want a silver lining, you should appreciate the fact that he's sticking to his own values (in a religion in which you raised him, don't forget). You learned the hard way that the religion values YHWH over other members, but that's another thread...

My advise is to not force it: you're in quicksand, and struggling doesn't work The stack of returned rejections must be increasingly frustrating and makes you feel powerless, so don't: give it time. Odds are good he'll decide in your favor, if you raised someone who's able to think critically, for himself.

breakfast of champions

Wow. I am so sorry.

Even at my most indoctrinated I would have accepted a bottle of single malt scotch from Hitler.

Keep trying. You're a great dad!

00DAD, in fact!

00DAD

wannabefree, I do try to keep in mind that he may be thinking that by being an Über-JW he is showing love, but there are two problems with that:

We're speculating what he is or isn't thinking. Fact is, I don't know. Mind-reading is against my religion.
If it's conditional, it ain't love. It doesn't matter what the WT says. It is wrong.

WBF: Hold on to that Scotch, some day you and your son may have a good laugh/cry over it.

It's safely stored as that is my hope, thanks! It's a 12 year old bottle now, it will only improve with age.

fakesmile, Sorry about your dad. I won't give up. It's not even in my vocabulary. Thanks!

slimboyfat, Thank you very much for your few, but encouraging words.

King Solomon, you remind me of my father. You have a PM.

breakfast of champions, thanks for your reply. It made me laugh! If you're every in sunny SoCal stop by and we'll have an Aberlour A'bunadh together.

whathappened

It must have really hurt when your loving act of sending the Scotch to your son was not lovinging accepted. This was a symbolic marking of a milestone and not a birthday party. It is like going to get your drivers license upon turning 16. No disrepect was meant and I'm sure he is just trying to send you the message that he will not have anything to do with you until the return to the organisation.

I hope he wakes up before any more precious time goes by which you can never get back. You have my sympathy.

whathappened

It must have really hurt when your loving act of sending the Scotch to your son was not lovinging accepted. This was a symbolic marking of a milestone and not a birthday party. It is like going to get your drivers license upon turning 16. No disrepect was meant and I'm sure he is just trying to send you the message that he will not have anything to do with you until the return to the organisation.

I hope he wakes up before any more precious time goes by which you can never get back. You have my sympathy.

Found Sheep

OODAD

I would have done the same thing. My brother and I ALWAYS called eachother on new years! even when he was at Bethel. My 1st year out I called him and no answer I left a message but didn't call the next year. I cried

00DAD

whathappened: It must have really hurt when your loving act of sending the Scotch to your son was not lovinging accepted. This was a symbolic marking of a milestone and not a birthday party.

Yes it did hurt. It wasn't the scotch he was rejecting it was me. I get it, that's why it hurts. Thanks for understanding that and the fact that this wasn't a "birthday present" but milestone. In fact my son and I have a history of marking different "rites of passage" in various ways and with specific tangible events and items. This was to be one which we had planned for a long time.

I'm glad you and most everyone that has responded gets it. Perhaps if you haven't experienced something similar you can't understand.

Found Sheep, Thanks for your compassionate response. Obviously you get it. I guess if you haven't been there you can't know. I'm sorry about your brother. We can always hope ...

00DAD

Doubting Bro

00DAD,

I'm sorry. This cult really does gut families.

Magwitch

So sorry00DAD.

My oldest just turned 21 also. I do not know how I would function if I had your situation. That religion is so despicable. If ever you are in Colorado I will buy us a great bottle of scotch to share.

Yesterday was my Son's 21st Birthday

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