jgnat, thank you so much for your kind and encouraging words.
tec, I really appreciate your feedback and support. I think you're right, or at least I HOPE you're right (lol) about the fact his returning things shows he cares, at least on some level. I've often wondered about that. He could just accept them and throw them away. But then I'd never know. This way (he thinks) he is sending a message. Kind of like Rhett Butler's famous, "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn" from GWTW. If he really didn't care, then why did he travel all the way to Tara to tell her?
I'm trying to be patient and strong, but it's hard. Thank you Tammy.
clarity, you're right of course that he is just doing what he has been indoctrinated to do. I know that, but it still hurts. Probably he is angry too. I suspect he is disappointed that we don't get to share this special, long-planned event together. Only he doesn't realize yet that he holds the keys to his freedom.
It is my hope and my plan to lovingly, patiently and continuously do things like this to create more cognitive dissonance. But I have to be careful. Too much and it will just cause his defenses to go up and, as binadub commented, "fortify his misplaced faith". On the other hand, too little and he will never have his wrong beliefs and hurtful behaviors challenged.
leavingwt, I was hoping you'd comment on this thread! Thanks. I believe I deserve better too. I believe my sons deserve better as well. Your efforts to reach your family members and your results are inspiring to me. As always I appreciate your suggestions and advice.
talesin, thank you very much for your emotional words of compassion and support. It means a lot to me.
