Long-distance Relationships?

by mindfield 38 Replies latest jw experiences

  • mindfield
    mindfield

    I'd like to ask for a tidbit of advice... if you don't mind! Being the inexperienced 18-year old that I am, and with the close-minded parents that I have, it can be hard to find some good, reliable advice.

    So here's my dilemna. I've never had a girlfriend, (not surprising considering most of my years were spent under rigid JW law) and I'd really like to have one. However, last summer I was a summer camp advisor for groups of kids that came and went each week. During the last few weeks, the older kids would come. During the last week, these charming, attractive girls caught my eye. And it came as a huge surprise to me when I realized, during the course of the week, that one of them had a crush on me! My amazement was major.

    Now this girl is 15 years old. We've only seen each other for a week, almost a year ago. However, we've been emailing each other pretty regurlary about our news, however unimportant. She's even sent me her new school photo, and va-va-voom! Wow. Anyways, you get the point.

    Now I wasn't sure if she still had the same feelings for me or if she had a boyfriend. The most recent emails between each of us confirmed that yes, she did have feelings, and no, she did not have a boyfriend. And yes, she'd like to go out with me.

    Now it would take less than a second for me to agree to this. However, as you may have guessed by the subject header, she doesn't live really close. It's about a 1.5 hour drive from here. It's not too bad, but we'd only be able to see each other on weekends, and even then I'd have to get my license (I know, I know, I should have it by now) and borrow my parents car. Which I'm sure they won't jump with glee.

    Do any of you have advice on this matter? I really have feelings for this girl, and that she has feelings for me on a romantic level is an immensely pleasant surprise. I'd like to know what you think...
    thanx.

  • mindfield
    mindfield

    Oops, this should be under Dating, right?

    Doh.

  • larc
    larc

    My opinion

    When love calls, an hour and a half is nothing. You will be thinking about her all the way there, and remembering the nice time with her all the way home.

  • Reborn2002
    Reborn2002

    Mindchild-

    If you never take my advice again ever, do it now. You are 18, she is 15.

    You go to jail, simple as that.

    Girls opinions, likes and dislikes change on a whim at that age.

    Find another chick closer to your age, for your own sake.

    5 minutes aint worth 15 years.

    The true Kingdom of God is located in your heart, not an organization of hypocrites.

    www.geocities.com/latinloverchicago/Jason1.html for my new webpage and info!! Im trying to live now!!

  • teejay
    teejay

    Mindfield,

    I'm probably close to your parent's age so that makes me the "close-minded" type. Which means that you're probably not going to like what I'm about to say but you did ask, so...

    A one and a half hour drive each way is a long way. I know you feel you could probably do it – no problem – but what time will it be? Late at night? Alone? I probably wouldn't be thrilled with the idea if you were my son.

    My advice? Find a nice girl closer to home. Believe me on this, girls who I'd call "date material" are all over the place and that's all you want to do at this early stage of your life. You have plenty of time to settle down to a life of god-forsaken misery... uh... I mean something more serious like joyous marital bliss. Find someone close to home. She probably lives right around the corner.

    And remember: like my dad told me once, promise a girl anything, just don't sign nothing.

    Keep us posted.

  • KistByQpid
    KistByQpid

    Well, I know you probably don't want to hear this...but you are 18, no longer a minor...and she is. This should be your primary concern, above and beyond the long distance factor.

  • Dutchie
    Dutchie

    Hi Reborn: I think you just rained all over Mindfield's parade. Anyway, he doesn't have to worry about the age difference unless he is planning on having sex with the girl and I don't think he's thinking along those terms yet (you're not, are you?). Anyway, you've got to start somewhere and beginning with a girl whom you already knows likes you romantically is certainly a good way to start. So go visit her and even if you can't drive yet take the bus or get someone to drive you. GO GOR IT and Good Luck!

  • Carmel
    Carmel

    I'm with Dutchie!

    Damit, love is worth taking a risk. Keep on with the eleconics until she turns 16. Be up front with her and her parents that you are good friends and maybe when you and she are at least half way through university, who knows.

    I'd be darn careful but at the same time, if the chemistry is there, you'll always regret not following it up with your honorable intentions.

    carmel who married his highschool sweetheart

  • larc
    larc

    Duthcie,

    I am with you on this one. We are talking about a first date here, not the horizontal bop. It won't be long before she is of age, and they can figure out what they will about stuff at that time.

  • Will Power
    Will Power

    I skipped right to the bottom.
    Don't know what others have said but I was once 8 hours away. It's great. (I did read larc's) like he/she said you'll think of her all the way there and all the way back.
    Are you from canada? legal age is 14 now, but 1st LOVE is the one that stays with you forever so if it has any potential, remember you have forever and don't rush it.
    The only thing I'd caution about is if she is JW.

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