by irondork 313 Replies latest watchtower bible
No i didnt make it up... It is how HE revealed HIMSELF to me! He shall speak to you as well if YOU but LISTEN to him! He shall speak! And you shall ! Hear!
Praise Thor!!!!....he sent me a message....something about not sticking a bean up my nose...but it was too late.
I should have listened.
Then I logged into JWN and the message was reinforced by the writings in this thread....why OH WHY didn't I take heed? NC your grandmother is a prophet...and not for profit.
If my grandma is a prophet, and I shared her message, what does that make me?
Praise grandma and avoid beans in your nose.
the same Jesus that is in the "not to be used" bible as the God we don't want to read about............. because we just want to listen to jesus and imagine the god as we so would desperately want to see him as?...DaCheech
yes...thats the one DaCheech...step away from the bible...nothing to see there folks...unless you want to cross reference something you heard to confirm it.
I think you need to share some more of your grandmothers wisdom before I do it New Chapter....I don't want to be too late next time.
Did she write anything down? Or....was it all word of mouth?
PSS I just looked and "thorleaf flugerhaven" doesn't give any results on Google? Is it possible EE is making things up?
I just did a google search on that....and praise THor!!! it brought me back to this thread. Halleluthor!
PROOF! that it is true...it is written....AND shows up in google search.
It did ask me if I meant......thorleif flughafen though....don't want to confuse the two...
Did you mean: thorleif flughafen
It's so good to do thorough research on the true meanings of this wisdom....it's going to help me hear Thor much better.
ST said:
I just did a google search on that....and praise THor!!! it brought me back to this thread. Halleluthor!
PROOF! that it is true...it is written....AND shows up in google search.
Well, that's pretty-damned impressive, then: Thor predicted future Google search engine results, which even pointed to here on JWN. That's enough for me, I'm convinced... I'm ready to be baptized in what, lightning? Is that how you do it?
Now that I'm in, is there some application I fill out to become a leader of the Thor religion? Cuz I'm pretty sure I could make elder in a year, if I went with JWs... Just sayin'....
NC said:
So my grandma would then say (yes, she repeated stories), "Now it had never even occurred to any of us kids to stick beans in our noses until she said that." And yes, they stuck beans in their noses! There is nothing as appealing as the forbidden, you know.
Very amusing and quaint little anecdote there, NC.
But what does it have to do with Ananias and Sapphira? Are you perhaps offering an alternative hypothesis that they died after sticking beans up their noses, having suffered massive nasal hemorrhages?
Are you filling in for TEC in her absense, doing her apologetic work?
I must say, I'm slightly disturbed by the direction in which this thread has veered, in TECs absense (without her spiritual direction to guide us). TEC should not leave us unattended for this long, as the convo tends to melt into a silly heap...
Oh that google search is funny. EE will be delighted, and he needs light things right now.
To answer the heathen's question---KS who is also known as Shrinky Dink---I was actually making a very dignified referral to the masturbation video where it was pointed out that the gestures kind of taught a person how it all went, and then told them not to do it.
It reminded me of my grandma's story. They show the motions, make the facial expressions, talk about the practice, and then say 'don't do that'. Don't put beans in your nose. I thought it was an obvious connection, but I can now see that writing scripture is much more complicated than I had realized. You never know what questions will be raised by your writing, and how you will answer it all. I guess I'm just not Omniscient. I wonder who is?
KS...now that you are convinced...you should get your first message any time now.... Well...at ten past three to be exact cause that's the only time on my clock.
If you don't hear though...you must do more google search to reinforce your faith because it has been found lacking.
And as for being an elder...there can be only one...and he is ElderElite! You will just have to be content with being older.
Well i inquired of my lord about the spelling but he hasnt said anything... All I can do is reveal HIM as HE has revealed HIMSELF to me! Ask him yourself? He will answer! If you listen (though i think you dear ones are too stupid to hear him, piece to you!) you should hear him telling me how to spell "flugerhaven"... He so funny!.... But of fourse YOU can HEAR him! If you BUT listen! And belive! He speaks to us all (of course you silly bastards ignore him)!
Hope this helps!
The one and only, elderelite
