The worst thing for me was missing out on college. I had a career choice in mind, but it required a college degree and internship. That was never going to happen. I remember trying to figure a way around the college part, but there wasn't a way. That particular field requires the degree. No amount of experience or working in the field would make up for the actual college time and degree. My biggest regret over the years, since I've been out.
What's The Worst Thing About Being A Jehovah's Witness?
by minimus 51 Replies latest jw friends
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Etude
The worst thing for me was the slow and gradual deception I came to realize. I think that perhaps I would have put up with all the ridicule, the going out to "service", even some guilt (of which I already had plenty) and listening to stupid comments from the platform every week for the sake of being right and on the true path. That's why it hurt so much more to learn I was so deeply decieved. Given what I've come to learn about myself, it was only a matter of time. But I regret that I wasted so many years of my life without pursuing my education, my creativity, my freedom and giving up lots of nooky. I also lost my family. What a waste of time!
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NewChapter
So many things, but on a daily basis it had to be the constant fatigue.
There was ALWAYS something I was supposed to be doing. There was never a good block of time to just rejuvinate, and if you took it anyway, there was always that nagging guilt---should be at meeting, should be doing daily bible reading, should be preparing for meeting, should be out in service, and you NEVER get a freaking break. It is endless. Have one bad night's sleep, and it takes a week to catch it up, because there is never a day you can just sleep in peacefully.
Mon-Fri up for work. Come home exhausted, gotta go to meeting. The weekend looks so good, but no! Can't go out late with friends, cuz you gotta get up for field service. Can't kick back after field service, cuz you gotta study WT and be up the next morning for meeting.
I. Was. Always. So. Tired! And that was before I got sick!
So many JW's I knew had those weird diseases like Chronic Fatigue, Fibromyalgia, depression, anxiety, and I just wonder if they weren't just f**king exhausted.
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Magwitch
When I was my bubbly, animated self, my parents and later husband were always telling me to reign it in, tone it down. Being a happy, self-confident female was so frowned on.
But, when I was quiet, with my eyes cast down, faithfully pioneering, feeling meek, mild, submissive, victimized and totally beaten down, I was so respected and admired.
So I guess the worst part for me was not being able to be the person I was born to be. Having to take on a personality that did not fit just to fit in.
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Etude
I hear you loud and clear @NewChapter. For me, the guilt was about having to do something. I remember wondering on several occasions, if Christ's yoke was "easy", why it felt such a burden to have to go to field service, or to have to go to the damned meeting, or to have to choose between what they said and what my heart told me to do. Finally, it got to be a pain in the ass and I had to take medication for it. I got a prescription.
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minimus
To be a "good JW", most sex is taboo.....(anything fun).
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Scott77
Waiting for the "real life" and not living the one that is here and now.
rip van winkle This sums up nicely the majority of my feelings.
Scott77
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BlindersOff1
yes
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bigmac
1: waking up in the morning
2: looking in the mirror
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C6H12O6
Not allowed to make outside friends and limiting contact with unbelieving relatives.
I was rarely invited to hang out with other witnesses (mainly because i was considered "bad association" ), so i spent most of my time alone.
Now at 23, I'm starting to turn into one of those forever alone hermits.