Femine supplies advice help needed (page 4)

KristiKay

Yes, FHN, wipes also. I had that discussion with my daughter this summer. They need to be prepared with the extra hygiene they will need.

Here is a tip-- when the time comes for her to deal with regular periods, she can put a thin pad inside her socks- that way she will have one to two extra pads at school. Long jeans will cover her socks and no messing with supplies in a backpack. I , too was a single parent and this was my idea for my 12 year old daughter (20 some years ago), who had her first period when she was living with me.

Glander

Whatever it takes to help our girls through puberty. Thank goodness for caring moms. Dads just feel kind of awkward.

finally awake

I remember being terribly embarrassed about getting my period back when I was 12. Buy a small box of junior size tampons - I always preferred Tampax before I had kids, and get a box of thin regular pads and panty liners. Her flow may be pretty light at first, so she may need the liners more than the pads or tampons. Also, if she has any significant pain, take her to the doctor. For me, the only thing that worked was getting on the Pill. I missed at least one day of school every time I got my period, and I took so much Midol I probably nearly blew out my liver. The Pill fixed that 100%. If I had a daughter, I'd seriously consider the Depo shots or the implants - no period at all and no pain.

Jadeen

Good suggestions! Definitely get her some dark colored underwear and perhaps a longer shirt to store in her backpack, just in case it starts at school. I loaned my flannel shirts to a couple of my school friends because of surprise leaks- gotta love 90's grunge style!

Scully

Supplies should include some sanitary napkins / pads / panty liners. Not to put too fine a point on things, but please don't cheap out on these items. A teen or pre-teen girl would be mortified to have something about half an inch thick in her panties. They are hugely self-conscious about other people noticing ill-fitting undergarments / bulges of pads beneath their regular clothing. I don't know that we ever get over that self-consciousness - up until my very last period prior to my hysterectomy, I would have died of embarrassment if my pad bulged on my behind and showed through my trousers, just as much as I would have been if I'd had a feminine hygiene "accident".

The "Always" brand has what I consider to be the Cadillac of pads - "Infinity" is extremely thin and is made of a material called "Infinicel" that is tremendously absorbent, along with the traditional Always "wings" that wrap around the panty's crotch area for extra protection; some also come with a moistened sanitary wipe so ladies can freshen themselves with every pad change. They are a lot smaller than traditional pads too, and therefore more discreet in a young lady's purse. (Yes, she should start carrying a purse so she's not caught off guard.) The more discreet the supplies, the less self-conscious she will feel. I will never forget how humiliated I felt when - almost 40 years ago - a boy in my class somehow figured out that I was on my period and started telling jokes about how vampires made tea with used tampons.

Something else that will be handy are pain relievers. You can get some specifically for menstrual cramps, like Pamprin or Midol, which contain both a pain reliever and a mild muscle relaxant for cramps. In a pinch, Motrin or Advil will be effective, provided she isn't allergic or sensitive to ASA or NSAIDs. Other comfort measures would include a hot water bottle for cramps or backache, and a properly fitting sports bra for breast tenderness.

Now, while you don't want her to get the idea that she can get out of doing important things like homework or normal chores on a regular basis when she has her period, she may have a couple of days where she gets headaches or is moody or irritable or in pain. She may not be on her period, but experiencing PMS symptoms - so just be aware and sensitive to her moods at those times. She may get food cravings, which can be indulged in moderation - studies have shown that a woman's metabolism increases just before and during her period, and cravings for food with higher fat and sugar content (chocolate, anyone?) are the body's way of meeting that need. Make sure she has a comfy pair of pajamas and slippers and fluffy bathrobe, so she can feel cozy when she's feeling poorly with a visit from "Aunt Flo".

It's also a good idea to teach her to mark the days of her period on a calendar. When she gets older, or if she has menstrual irregularities that warrant medical attention, she will have an accurate record for the doctor. It isn't unusual for a girl's periods to be irregular the first year or so following menarche, so you can reassure her that her body should sort things out, and also that you'll have supplies ready for her so she won't be caught unprepared.

Good luck to you both!

ilikecheese

Apart from the feminine supplies, one thing you might want to suggest to your daughter, if it's not too weird: It's pretty easy to have "mistakes" the first few years you have a period since you're really not used to it yet, so it's a good idea to carry a sweatshirt or something to tie around your waist should such a thing occur. Most of the girls in my junior high would just wear a sweatshirt around their waist their whole cycle just to be on the safe side. At least that way if something happens, it's not nearly as embarrassing and people probably won't see it. I have a sister in junior high right now, and I always know when she's on her cycle: She's got a sweatshirt for no apparent reason!

And I concur with the "no tampons" suggestions. It's usually a few years before girls feel comfortable wearing them. Just go for some Always pads! You can always get the overnight ones, too. It's practically a diaper, but at least there's less of a chance of issues.

Kudra

And when she starts her period this also means that she can NOW GET PREGNANT.

And that is a more important talk than the menstruation one...

jws

To issuesffortissues, this is real. I do have a daughter turning 11 next month and DO want her to be prepared. And no, I don't know about that stuff or what to get or whether there are different sizes for girls vs. adult women. I'm a guy. I was married, but never really paid attention to exactly what to buy. I honestly don't know whether women use a mixture of pads and tampons or one exclusively. Sounds like one exclusively. And not that I'm the type of guy who would be embarrassed to buy the stuff for my wife/gf if asked and told what to buy, but my ex shopped for those things and never asked me to pick up anything. So I don't know. Many of the women I've dated are fairly private about that stuff. And prying and asking for details would be a bit weird and/or pervy to me. But now I have a daughter who needs to be prepared and an ex who won't help. I'm not asking out of some pervy curiosity. I'm asking so as to prepare her.

No, Scott77, I'm not part of the LGBT community. Although I do support them. I am a man, my ex is a woman. We had kids who are genetically ours, not adopted or via sperm donor. And I'm divorced because, IMO, my ex had a mid-life crisis after turning 40 and decided she wanted to relive her young and single days.

I can't explain my ex's reactions. Maybe she doesn't want to think of her little girl as growing up. Maybe because it makes her feel older. She's the same woman who thought divorce is something that doesn't really affect kids and they just bounce back quickly with no lasting effects. She wants to believe what's convenient for her to believe. There are other ways in which I don't think she's a good parent or even wants to be one sometimes.

This is the same woman who, when the kids started hearing about sex at school, I told her she should have a talk with her daughter on several occasions. She didn't. I kept telling her to talk to our daughter. My daughter kept asking questions, mentioning things she'd heard. I kept telling her to ask her mother. The ex would apparently say things like "not right now". Finally I got tired of the ex not doing anything and explained the "birds and bees" to her myself.

Maybe she wants to push me away from this part of our daughter's life because she's missed some of the other milestones like the sex talk. And by the way, these things I've asked of her haven't been a "tell her tonight or I will" type of thing. These requests went on for more than a couple months before I finally decided to do something about it myself.

If I could understand my ex and/or she made sense to me, we'd probably still be married.

My daughter and I are close and she shares things with me like about boys she likes that she doesn't even tell her mother about. Her mother never really asks about her life beyond things like "how was school today". I don't know how the teenage years will go, but I hope we will continue to share that openess and honesty throughout and that she can come to me with any issues. Including whether her feminine protection is working and if she needs anything else.

I'm a single dad. I don't have the kids exclusively, but I do have them over half the time. And I'm going to do what I can for them when they're with me. I'm going to see that they're prepared to the best of my ability. When I don't know something, I'm going to ask. And this board has plenty of parents who've gone through this I'm sure. Who's advice I trust more than asking grown women I know without kids. Because whatever they did years ago when they got their first period is probably different than what's on the market today.

Nice_Dream

It's very commendable that you want to be prepared. I would recommend unscented products, and have a box of panty liners, medium flow pads with wings, and over night pads with wings.

Maybe a book to leave in her room, like this one: http://www.amazon.com/Care-Keeping-American-Girl-Library/dp/1562476661/ref=sr_1_5?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1349243502&sr=1-5&keywords=Girls+bodies

She can keep an emergency stash of supplies in a makeup bag in her backpack for school, with an extra pair of underwear.

My Mom did not teach me about this rite of passage, luckily I had a smart little sister.

Femine supplies advice help needed