by flower 29 Replies latest jw friends
i know its shamelessly and selfish to post but i'm really depressed. someone pls try to cheer me up?
tell me a joke or something? make it good though cause i dont laugh at average jokes.
seven006? naeblis? anyone else around here that makes me laugh..i could use it.
hey if you were on Yahoo I'd tell you sumfin!!
Ven
"deal with it!"
A little guy goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this great big huge guy
standing next to him.
The big guy sees the little guy staring at him, looks down and says,
"7 feet tall, 350 lbs., 14 inch penis, testicles 2 lbs, Turner Brown".
The small guy just faints dead away and falls to the floor.
The big dude kneels down and brings him to, by slapping his face and shaking
him.
He asks "Are you Ok?" In a very weak voice the little guys says,
"Excuse me, but what did you just say to me?"
The big dude says, "When I saw the curious look on your face, I just figured
I'd give you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me.
I'm 7 feet tall, weigh 350 lbs., have a 14 inch penis, my testicles weigh 2
lbs., and my name is Turner Brown."
The small guy says, "Thank God!!! I thought you said 'Turn Around"
I don't want someone in my life I can live with. I want someone in my life I can't live without.
Hey Michal!
Ill try a few jokes.
Disclaimer: If you dont find these funny, step off.
Question: What do you tell a blonde with two black eyes?
Answer: Nothing, youve already told her twice.
-
Question: What do you tell a blonde in the living room watching TV?
Answer: Why arent you in the kitchen cooking my dinner?
Damn well I tried. I know these jokes are pretty bad but I got them in an email a few weeks ago. I hope I dont get flamed by the feministic movement here. I was just trying real hard to make flower laugh. So read the disclaimer and dont email me or start complaining.
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Ill try, but Simon don't like my jokes lol. A few housewives were sitting around the table talking, and the subject turned to their husbands. One lady said "My husband just won't go to church with me, I think he's going to go tohell." This led to talk around the table and it was generally agreed that, for one reason or another, all the husbands were going to end up in hell.
So, then the housewives started speculating about themselves. One woman said "I try to be good - I'm sure I'll make it to Heaven." Another one said "No, I did this bad thing, I won't make it." So, then they noticed that one of the ladies wasn't saying anything. And they looked at her and said "You're such a nice lady, surely you're going to Heaven...?"
She says "No, first thing in the morning, I'm going to buy me a ticket straight to hell!" They were shocked and asked why.
"Well, you don't expect me to live in a world without men, do you??!?"
Flower--me too. I'm depressed and sad and am hoping for the end of the world to put me out of my misery. It's not selfish to post your depression, it's selfish to hold it in, bottled up inside when people care about you and want to help. As for me, I am doomed in a world of bogus pretenses, and feelings that I can't control or really understand. Life sucks and then you die.
Sorry, I know this didn't help at all, probably made ya feel worse. I have that effect on people. I'm sorry that your down, wish I could say it'll get better, but I am an eternal pessimist and don't believe it will ever get better for me. God, self pity sucks....
Here's a few happy snaps...always good for a chuckle...
Cheer up Hun, we still luv you dearly.....
I love you, you love me, were best friends like friends should be. With a grate big hug and a kiss from me to you, wont you say you love me to?
My bologna has a first name that's O-s-c-a-r my bologna has a second name that's m-a-y-e-r. I like to eat it every day and if you ask me why I say___ cause Oscar mayer has a way with b-o-l-o-g-n-a.
That didn't seem to work....Damn it!!!!
You've been a BAD boy, go to MY room
Hey Lilacs:
I think the guy's name in that joke shoulda been Ben Dover.
LOL!
ONE...
bigboi
