Good point "SAB"
Happy Nazis
I was HAPPY as a JW, how did I get here?
by MC RubberMallet 85 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
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botchtowersociety
I was happy too...until I learned the truth. Ignorance is bliss, but I am glad I took the red pill.
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krejames
Really interesting thread. Looking forward to reading the rest of your story
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NewChapter
It IS all bad, why apologize for them at all? From the words of Charles Taze Russell Advertise Advertise ADVERTISE! The Watchtower offers nothing to this world, nadda, zip, just crushed hopes and dreams or a slight drool and a crooked smile. That's why people say stuff like this:
It is only when something happens to shake that faith, then you start to see it for what it really is, then you have less in common with your friends, you dare not discuss your doubts with them...Then it all turns horrible. Let us read more of his story...
Once you are jarred loose from the programming you cannot do anything but look on in horror at what is taking place all around you. Willful ignorance in a baseless hope that only serves to cripple the future of anything it touches. It was never good in the first place, that's why you have to WAKE UP to see it! It's imitation happiness, a porcelain doll, a hologram.
Sab, settle down. There are many here who were raised with all their families in the JW's, and they have some fond memories. They remember some happy times. They have all awakened, but there is no need to invalidate the very real emotions they experienced at that time---and some of those emotions are good. Why tell those people that they cannot look back with anything but horror? There were warm times, why would you insist that they rewrite those warm times to be something miserable? Imitation happiness? There was also genuine happiness. We can't find happiness in it any longer, but we are simply acknowledging the happiness that we found at that time. If it was a constant state of bliss, we wouldn't be here.
You know, we tell people all the time that they don't have to deny their feelings of anger, betrayal, sadness, grief etc when dealing with their exit and past. Why should we be telling them that they must deny feelings of warmth, love and happiness? In fact, we also have to come to terms with those emotions too. Try not to tell others how they must feel about their own lives. The fact is, not everyone was completely miserable. We all reject the cult today. There are complex emotions that go with this, and not all them are sad. It's as if you are offended that anyone would ever say that they valued any part of their life in any way before leaving the cult. That's just silly. Our lives weren't 'wasted' so much as misdirected. We still experienced living, even in a tiny box. There is nothing wrong with acknowledging that.
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Doubting Bro
Look forward to part 2! I was fairly happy as an active JW although serving as an elder started to erode that (after the good feelings wore off).
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krejames
NewChapter - Yes I agree. Although, on the whole I was deeply unhappy and miserable myself, I had some genuinely good times. I also still have a lot of affection for most of the JWs I have known, including the elders. I never had a specifically bad experience with the people (it was really just the general feeling that I didn't fit in and couldn't really relate to the "spiritual" mentality). Any gripe I have is more about teachings beyond the things written in the Bible and the apparent dishonesty with the organisation's past in hte Proclaimer's book et al.
If someone is happy in the organisation, I say good for them. Someone who is dying for example, might take great comfort in the resurrection hope, whether or not we ourselves think it's a false hope that they shouldn't believe. This is why I don't think it's kind to try and destroy anyone else's beliefs - if they are already unhappy, then it might be kind to point them in the direction of where they can do some unbiased research.(unfortunately, this site isn't the place for unbiased research - bitter people are all too ready to believe the slightest negative allegation and conspiracy theory even when unsubstantiated by evidence - to me that's just as bad as a JW's eagerness to believe some of the unsubstatiated stuff the GB prints). For me it was the earthquake stats that really started to bring home how dodgy the information was in the literature.
I think this is why this thread/story appeals to me so much - if someone was happy as a JW, and isn't bitter from a personal gripe or experience, what would affect them enough to make them realise the TATT?
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steve2
Sheesh! Sab, calm down. Disappointed because we dared acknowledge that being an active JW does not exclude being happy?
There are lots of things in life it makes sense to be "disappointed" about. This is not one of them.
Just as JWs cannot conceive of anyone outside the organization being genuinely happy, we don't want to fall into the reactive opposite trap of now assuming no one inside the organization is happy. As other posters have eloquently said, being happy doesn't make anyone right or justified.
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King Solomon
I'd advise caution going forward, as there's a great risk of someone swooping in and accusing everyone here of being Watchtower apologists, LOL!
That's the problem with trying to demonize JWs as evil people: they simply aren't. My family aren't, and yours aren't, as are most of the JWs I've met are not, either. It just doesn't stick.
However, it IS an organization where dissent isn't allowed: eventually you have to decide as an individual whether you want to belong to the group or not. It's true that individuals can do pretty horrible things under the color of authority, but that's a hazard of being a human: as strong-minded as you may think of yourselves, you cannot predict what you are capable of, under different circumstances.
Now for me, my personality has never been that of a JOINER, someone who goes along with causes or groups (and I don't know if that was a reaction to going away from JWs, or just some part of my basic personality (I've always been strong-willed, hard-headed). I've subsequently joined other groups, but always felt like some part of me was always keeping a barrier up that prevented me from truely "joining", as if holding back).
NC said:
That's just silly. Our lives weren't 'wasted' so much as misdirected. We still experienced living, even in a tiny box. There is nothing wrong with acknowledging that.
I wouldn't even go that far: for some of us, it was a healthy phase to go thru, but not to get trapped inside. It's one step of a process of exploring spirituality to find an individual definition of what meaning to ascribe to our lives, but most JWs halt their search after being told there is nothing else out there (excdept volunteer magazine distributors): they think they've found all the answers!
In pharmacology, the old saying is that no substance is toxic at all doses, but instead "the dose makes the poison". Heck, people die from drinking too much water (it's called "water intoxication"), and theology is much the same. What is normal for one is not healthy for another...
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sabastious
There is nothing wrong with acknowledging that.
I don't think you get it, NC, and I am not sure you ever will. Jonathan Kendrick could have been caught by a number of Witnesses who simply had to look right before their eyes and see what was actually happening, but were too busy being "happy" as you call it. Who lets a man like Kendrick take a 9 year old girl out in the field ministry alone? How many field service meetings was he able to "fix" so that he could take Candace back to his place? How many people watched it happen? They all did and they were from many walks of life and all had smiles on their faces just like in that picture I posted. Why did they watch it happen? It doesn't take information of any kind to have common sense and common morality, it just takes being human. A 9 year old girl wasn't just raped by a man or a corperation, but a community that was set up to protect her. Those people who had a chance to stop that monster chose to act in an inhumane manner, but aren't they just those "ordinary people" you keep desperately trying to paint? ORDINARY PEOPLE DON'T JOIN CULTS. This is a community who looks the other way, we all did it at one point and it's high time we accept it and see the situation for what it truly is. There is no need to bring up the happiness that is possible within the Watchtower, it's distracting, just like trying to point out the smiles in the picture. They are criminals and anyone who stands with them are colaborators and accomplices, it's a simple as that. Now if you live in a third world country without the internet, then I can understand. Which is why the Watchtower created a dumbed down version of itself. They hunger for more now that the West is privy.
You want to hear a happy memory? My parents used to take us camping, but they would leave us at the camp site to fend for ourselves while they gallivanted in the mountains on horseback. I was "old enough" to watch my brother, so they went on incredible escapdes in the moutains, while we did... whatever. They literally just rode in the wild all day and must have had a fairy book time. Meanwhile my little brother and I just waited at the camp site fending for ourselves and there was an accident where my little brother got knocked bad in the head by a large boulder. He most likely had a gnarly concussion, but we didn't bother telling my parents, they would just tell him to walk it off. Happy times.
-Sab
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NewChapter
I get your point, KS. And different people at different times find value in different things. For instance, no normal human would want to live with the restrictions brought on by drug rehab, but for some people, for a certain portion of time, it's a healthy environment. People need to grow up, but for a certain time in their lives, they must be looked after, provided for, and restricted, all in an effort to bring them to adulthood. For some people, a great deal of structure can be beneficial. For others---not. So it only makes sense that some people will conclude that they gained some value from the JW life---but the important part is that they grew out of it and needed it in the first place! Since it is a one-size-fits all program meant to last a lifetime, it fails by huge margins. But for those that walked away, they may look back and see something good in their time their, while planning the total destruction of the entire system. maw hawwwww.
My point is just that humans are not black and white, and none of us should be discouraged from expressing the shades in between.