The shift: from follower to wanting to leave

by paradisebeauty 48 Replies latest jw experiences

  • TheListener
    TheListener

    Welcome paradisebeauty. I woke up researching about 607 and the flood. I tried to keep my research strictly to the subjects that interested me and refused to look at "apostate" material. I eventually couldn't believe what I was finding and my research expanded.

    I was physically sick for months and months as I learned the TTATT. My wife didn't leave me but she is still a witness. I hope one day she wakes up too.

    Hang in there and know we will support you by listening and sharing our stories too.

  • paradisebeauty
    paradisebeauty

    I wanted to tell everyone who said that they prayed to God and asked for an answer, that the answer can be a new thought that comes into your mind. A simple clarifying thought, a new understanding or a feeling of confidence in something you believe, those are answers from God.

  • paradisebeauty
    paradisebeauty

    Thank you Listener for sharing your story and for support.

    This forum and being able to talk to people in similar situations has been really helpful.

  • FayeDunaway
    FayeDunaway

    Shoot it would be nice if some of us lived close to eachother. Paradise beauty I really would want to be your friend in real life. I'm glad you've clicked with LHS too.

    You should research the cross...when I did, I was so surprised by what I found. Actually Wikipedia helped me a lot with the history of thngs. Jesus did actually die on a cross. Witnesses have fought very long to be apart from other religions, but really it's foolishness. Rutherford especially was really messed up. I don't know what happened to him in his childhood but the guy had serious issues he infused into the religion and that they cling to today.

    Giordano, my pastor is female! She's quite awesome, but I admit that it took some getting used to to having a female pastor. I knew this church had a female pastor, and the first time I went, I planned it to be the week there was a visiting male speaker...and I could not believe how he spoke of his own weaknesses and insecurities from the stage! He infused his experiences of having a child born with a severe disability into his sermon, and how difficult that was to accept for him due to his own pride, but how rich she has made his life. it made me like him so much. But the next week I met the female, and she is so warm and loving it felt natural for her to preach.

    About Unitarian Universalists...we have many close friends of that religion, and they are all wonderful people. It's not for me because I am firmly Christian...But me and my kids often go to their family game night.they are good people.

  • JakeM2012
    JakeM2012

    Welcome to the forum ParadiseBeauty, I appreciate your story. For me, When the first domino fell it was just a few days before I was completely done with the religion. As the the entrepreneurs say on the show the Shark Tank, "I'm out." Then, then you have to navigate out of the mess to get out of it, and I was in it pretty deep.

    There has been some good advice here, congratulations on unraveling the lies.

  • fukitol
    fukitol
    The best advice is just take it easy on yourself and give yourself a lot more time. Don't go having a nervous breakdown over it all, it's not worth it. It's a nasty little religion not worth stressing over. Just keep gently absorbing information and facts and let it percolate. You're experiencing massive cognitive dissonance very fast, which can be psychologically painful (similar to a separation or death of a loved one) so take it easy on yourself ok. And keep looking after your loves ones. If you have family in, be very careful, don't freak them out telling them all about the truth and reality you're suddenly discovering. Peace out.
  • Alive!
    Alive!

    "I was wondering how did the shift in thinking happened to you? Was it gradual, was it sudden?"

    Hi there - I'm relatively new to posting on this forum, have been away from meetings, FS etc for coming up to three years in a few months time.

    I converted and was a dedicated JW for well over twenty odd years.

    I never, ever dreamt I would be at this place in my life - I mean NEVER!

    My shift in thinking initially came from factual exposure to the WTBS's habit of misquoting and taking statements from published documents, in order to drive home the WTBS argument.

    I was shown this by a non- witness recipient of the Trinity brochure and our blue creation book. At first it didn't really sink in - but as fresh evidence of further dishonesty came to light, I roused from slumber!

    How often do we agonise over stumbling people on our ministry, praying for the right words, kicking ourselves when we didn't have the right scripture at hand. This work meant peoples lives.

    Really, wouldn't you be furious if you found that your own carefully crafted words were taken out of context - and then published in an argument which you would strongly contest, along with your name, as if this had your very own seal of approval?

    Yet WTBS has a track record of dishonouring other humans, taking their words and twisting them - and publishing them on a global scale.

    They claim to be the spokesperson for God. The ultimate, the only channel for the hope of salvation in these "end times".

    If I were the victim of this incredibly disrespectful practice - I'd say that I'd be severely stumbled and not the least bit interested in this "life-saving" literature.

    Enough.... Please!

    So cognitive dissonance kicked in harder and harder - another turning point was the illustration of Jehovahs earthly organisation that showed the GB at top of the pecking order sitting around a boardroom table in their Pullman executive chairs, all the way down to humble stackable chairs for the publishers and no Jesus in sight.

    Then I snapped and was free.

    It did my head in, LOL.

    Getting much better...


  • FayeDunaway
    FayeDunaway
    The GB could learn a lot from this new pope Francis...
  • Alive!
    Alive!
    LOL @ Faye
  • Oogie
    Oogie
    Mine was sudden. I was researching 'mind control' out of curiosity and ended up on Steve Hassan's site; instant wake up.

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