I've never written on this site. I've been inactive for about 6 years and glad I'm out.
I'm in my late 40's. So about 2 years ago, I go on facebook and looked up this brother I use to like when I was in my 20's he was a bethelite. Come to find out he was divorced too and disfellowshipped for adultery. We spoke on the phone for about a year since he was in the south and I was in the north. Anyway we finally got together last thankgiving at his brothers house who lived in a state that was right in the middle between our respective states that we lived in. We were very attracted to each other still and the attraction was strong and feelings grew strong. We met up again Christmas, then New Years. So the beginning of January he moved in with me.
It turns out he was a heavy drinker, an alcoholic. I thought it would be nice to be with an ex JW since maybe they had some morals and would know how to act and have decency. Boy was I wrong. He is a very smart beautiful man and still looks fantastic for being in his late 40's. So I tried to help him. It was very frustrating dealing with the drinking, I would get really pissed and tell him to go back to where he came from. He begged and said he would do better. I gave him chance after chance.
Then I noticed he wanted to hang with people that were into smoking weed. I didn't like that and demanded that he not associate with this person who was my cousin's boyfriend. Then he gets a job and starts hanging out with a guy who is addicted to prescription drugs. I demanded he stop hanging out with this person too.
I have been through hell with this ex bethelite. He's also lazy as hell and come to find out he's bi-polar.
I thought wow, he went to bethel when he was young, they, in my opinion do not make these young men into real men. they have their food made for them, clothes cleaned for them, the friends give them clothes, treat them like kings and they take everything for granted and never learn responsibility. He is not responsible at all. He a dag on mess. He's been divorced for about 12 years now and has been a no good bum I've learned. Just last week I found a crack pipe. He admitted yep, he was smoking crack.
CAN U BELIEVE THIS? The worldly men I've dated since I've been out are way better than this. I am in such a mess and I'm in it because I thought my best bet of meeting a nice man to marry would be an ex JW and an ex JW bethelite at that. He has no spirituality at all. I mean at all!!!!
I still believe in God and respect him, just can't drink that JW cool aid, sorry, but no way will I ever go back. Gotta tell you that crazy story one day. I don't because you wouldn't believe what I went through.
But anyway, I invested in this georgeous apartment and cant make the payments on my own. The lease is up in April and we will go our separate ways then, but I don't think I can wait that long. I am miserable. He is a stone cold drug addict and I am so dissappointed and depressed. He is the worst human being I have ever been close to, I can not believe how he turned out. He use to even be an elder, for many years at that. He traveled and preached around the world and speaks 3 languages. But now he just loves badness. He gravitates toward bad people and his mind is weak and he in an ingrate. I had to find the jobs he's had for him. He got fired from most of them which I assume is probably because he's lazy, doesn't like anyone telling him what to do, he's arrogant and probably got caught drinking or doing drugs on the job. I know for a fact he was drinking on the first job he had and got fired after 2 weeks.
Anyway, I just wanted to tell someone. There is no way I can tell my family nor friends this, they will think I'm absolutely off my rocker. I just now want to get out of this unscathed as much as I can. I can't stand the site of him. The crack really made me have absolutely no respect for him whatsoever.
I say all this to put it out there that just because someone was a JW in the past doesn't mean they can't loose all the moral decency they use to have, so be careful. I made a big mistake by trusting him and now I'm paying for it big time. I just wanted to meet someone and be happy, live a respectable, stable life. I feel so lost and like I will will never be settled and truly happy. I'm just so so extremely sad and had to tell someone.