Did you ever shun people when you were a dub? How did it feel? (page 2)

IsaacJ22

Like a lot of things Watchtower, I felt as if I was being tested. I didn't want to do it. Actually, I thought it was stupid. Shutting people out like that just felt manipulative and counterproductive. If you care about someone, how does giving them the cold shoulder help them to see the error of their ways?

But I did it because it was what the Society said I had to. I wanted Jehovah beaming down at me from heaven, not shaking his head at me with disappointment.

I'm just glad that BS is over with. Amen.

outsmartthesystem

I shunned. I shunned my own brother for the better part of 10 years. It felt awful.....unnatural.....inhumane......yet I did it because I thought that is what God wanted me to do. The power that religion has over people is sickening.

oldlightnewshite

Ding, I'd wondered that too. I would give a nice warm smile and a nod of the head to say hi. I think it was in protest to all those smug bastards at the back, so cold and judgmental. I think it was probably to try and subconsciously jolt them into realising that after all we are supposed to be Christians first and foremost. I'd hoped that they would notice that I had no problem with it, so why were they making a big deal about it, and why couldn't they show some warmth?

I'm convinced that the DF'd persons were so racked with guilt, that they probably had thrown up a kind of blind barrier, impervious to any communication. Now that I'm an inactive person, I'm getting the thousand yard stares too. Not had a greeting from a dub in maybe a year. Whenever I see a dub I stare at them to wait and see if there is a flicker of recognition. Nothing.

cantleave

Never totally, I would say Hi, or give a nod of acknowledgement, and once even gave a lift to a DF'd guy whose car had broken down. I just would never socialise with someone who was DF'd. I always found total shunning too harsh not appropriate.

DesirousOfChange

Why would the DFd brother or sister not look at you?

Maybe they were being kind, and not wanting to put you on-the-spot.

Doc

cobaltcupcake

I did it, feeling a sense of duty and loyalty to the organization/Big J. My best friend was DF'd but luckily I never ran into her and didn't have to shun her.

Then I started rebelling on my own and I invited her over for chats on a weekly basis. Up yours, WTBTS!

The Odd Life of Jehovah's Witnesses - Shunning

LisaRose

Shunning people just never felt right, I had a hard time doing it. It's one thing when you see them at the hall, quite another to run into someone you know out and about. I knew very few JWs who could maintain the shun in that situation. The whole thing just seems cruel now. I have heard you have to wait at least six months before you can get reinstated. I'm sure a lot of people just give up rather than suffer through six months of meeting attendence as a pariah. I had a friend whose daughter was DFd for heavy petting. The boy involved was reproved (elders son) . She tried getting reinstated, but they turned her down. She finally gave up. She got some good therapy and moved on with her life. I am sure there are many out there who would still be JWs, but were so abused by the elders they realized TTATT. Six months is a long time, how many young ones will suffer that?

Theocratic Sedition

Someone reinstated fairly recent told me part of what encouraged him to "come back to Jehovah" was because I always nodded at him, gave him a smile, or said said quiety, "wsup _________." He's someone that actually benefits from being a JW because what he got DF'd for, and his lifestyle while DF'd was nothing nice. The stuff he was into I just kinda chalk up to that time frame, the Reagan Era (some of you know what I'm talking about. There's no excuse for kids of the following generation to follow that same path IMO.) His sons are like blood brothers to me although we're not related and they never got baptized.

With other DF'd ones I've known throughout the years, most of the time they don't open themselves up for any interaction. Most of them when you come across them after not seeing them for sometime and upon approaching them give you the "I'm DF'd" response. It's like they've got a disease that isn't apparent upon sight so they have to tell you, "look man, I'm DF'd." As if the goattee didn't already tell me something was up. The last person I got that from I responded in a manner that I kinda regret, but not entirely. I told him to get himself together at a convention. That's the best I could come up with all the while I don't believe in this mess. Just didn't know what else to say to him, beside you never know he might be more pious than a regular pioneer and rat me out. Oh well.

Several years ago, I had a friend that I completely shitted on in hindsight while he was DF'd. He's back in now, in another state, pioneering along with his wife. Prior to that he got the axe and after he got reinstated I didn't treat him like I should have. It wasn't entirely because of his past of being DF'd as much I moved on in life, but I've always wondered if I offended him or hurt him by giving him a cold response. I didn't want to hang out with him, go to the game or anything. Didn't want to be bothered with him. All these years later I figure he's moved on, so have I. Life goes on.

Captain Obvious

Yes... My mom. She was DF'ed a few years ago, and I did shun.

Oh how we all rejoiced when she decided to restore her relationship with Jehovah! Actually even for a while after, I didn't treat her very well and didn't trust her. Looking back, it was definitely a conditioned response from the mind control, no question about it.

Just like nicolau, I felt terrible once I woke up. She was DF'ed again about 6 months ago. I eventually called her and apologized for the way I treated her last time she was differs, and it won't happen again. I told her that this would be a good time for us to work on our relationship.

Her response? "That sounds nice, but its not right. It's Jehovah's arrangement!"

I told her I have tried to find a true scriptural basis for shunning, and there isn't one. Would a God of love force us to shun our family? What would Jesus have done?

"Well... It's just not right. It's the arrangement and we have to follow it".

She obviously is still in mentally which must be torture, especially living in a small town.

I wonder if she would shun me if we were both Diffed? I'm sure if that were the case she would try to "encourage" me to get back in.

Wonderful little cult isn't it?

ScenicViewer

In my younger days I did, and I later felt horrible about it.

For the last few decades that I was active, when I saw a DF'd person on the street I would talk to them just as I would any body else. Even at the Hall I wouldn't shun them. No one said anything about it.

It felt so much better that way.

Did you ever shun people when you were a dub? How did it feel?

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