Did you ever shun people when you were a dub? How did it feel? (page 3)

Chariklo

Someone in the congregation was disfellowshipped while I was "coming in". The people studying with me kept checking up on me that I wasn't talking to him. It was weird. I hadn't even been taught properly about shunning before then, but I learned quickly. A couple of times the disfellowshipped person tried to talk to me, and I was told it was Ok for now because I didn't understand. And of course, I wasn't baptised. I was firmly told that I must avoid them or I couldn't be baptised....baptism was held before me as the prize, the ultimate reward.

wha happened?

I did, and I felt rightiously indignant at them for approaching me. What a JW douche bag I was

BluesBrother

Yes....it felt horrible (One did it out of misplaced loyalty)

NB, I still used to give a nod and a wink to them though

moshe

Six months before I mentally quit the JWs, I ended up working on a construction job with a man who was df'd- he had been an elder one time, too. I always liked him- I treated him just like a normal person. We talked about the witnesses some- working with him made me realize that being df'd was not the end of the world- but the beginning of it-

My friend was very suprised I didn't give him the cold shoulder- he thought it was some sort of a trick. He still has a younger brother who is still a JW and DOES shun him.

straightshooter

I shunned df witnesses. When they "repented" and were "accepted back" into the cong, I felt that the WTS was right in their treatment. But when a close friend got df and did not "come back", I felt like I was the biggest creep in the world in rejecting my friend because the WTS says to. Because of the WTS, I have lost all contact with my former friend. This still saddens me.

jws

For the most part, this wasn't an issue. Growing up, most of the DF'ed people were people much older than me who I never talked with anyway.

In my teen years, some got DFed that were on their way out anyway. Never saw them after being DFed. Others I just didn't hang around with because they were hardly at the Kingdom Halls anyway, so when they got DFed, no big deal. There were a few that were friends though. Whenever I'd see them in public and JWs weren't around, I'd say hi and smile.

One good friend I never stopped talking to and even would visit or call covertly. He had sex once and felt bad about it. At 15 and a virgin, I envied him and wondered why he confessed. It was 30 years ago that he got DF'ed. Just had dinner with him last night. Still a close friend.

Away from the crowd, another guy was DFed and worked a cleaning job where I worked. When I saw him, I always talked to him. He later thanked me for that. We actually got along better after he was DFed than before.

From the JW standpoint of trying to recover these two, it never happened. Maybe it had something to do, at least partially, with me talking to them and giving them moral support. So in the JW sense, maybe if I had shunned them, they may have come back.

Just don't know that I ever really tried to shun anybody on purpose. I usually felt bad for how those people were treated. Like I said, there weren't many affected by DFing that I'd talk to anyway. But to know you can't, that felt weird.

biblecheck

As the mindless institutionalised sheep that I was, I completely agreed with the shunning and supported it whole heartedly. To me it was scripturally correct - that's why, even though I don't agree with it now, it doesn't upset me because I get why JW's do it. Also I hear from my family from time to time so I am not completely cut off. I never hear from friends though.

What really upset me was when a person was D'd, almost everyone in the congregation found out what the person had done - the behind scenes gossip was completely out of control, and nothing was ever done about it. This meant the person had to face the humilation of sitting up the back, while everyone knew their dirty laundry. This is just so wrong - I must admit I found that really hard to observe.

The other thing I despised was when someone was re-instated - many in the congregation would be distant with the person "until they proved themselves". I saw this happen a lot in Australia - where the newly re-instated person wouldn't get invited to BBQs or other social events. So much for openly forgiving one another and showing agape' love - what a joke! It was like the disfellowshipping wasn't good enough. But I was always like "Hang on guys, God has accepted them back - so shouldn't we?"

This is why cliques are especially a problem within the JW congregations - the rank and file, the disfellowshipping and marking all promote spiritual elitism .

Nambo

I only ever met one, from my congregation, he had got a job in the supermarket, I saw him and smiled and said "Hi", he just sort of half smiled and nodded back.

I think they are not being deliberately cold to Witnesses, I think they have been made to feel so guilty and unclean, that they are not allowed to speak to us, or maybe they are trying to not get us in trouble so it is a kindness on thier part.

(I say"us"writing from an active dub standpoint).

NOLAW

I shun only when the df was deserved and pretend to shun at the KH.

finallysomepride

No I never shunned anyone who was disfellowshipped, I did experience them "blanking me" & once I went up to one of them & said it's ok to talk to me, their reply was "no it's not" & ran out of the shop

I once worked with a disfellowshipped sister & we had many long conversations about jw stuff, sadly she still believed, but never returned.

Did you ever shun people when you were a dub? How did it feel?

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