Shunning is the big story

joelbear

I just read the story about the family in Oregon, gone forever, because of the pressure of shunning.

In my opinion, shunning is THE big story about Jehovah's Witnesses. Shunning and the fear of shunning is what enables the control of victims of child abuse. Shunning is what destroys families. Shunning is what drives people to depression and unfortunately suicide.

Shunning and the way it is carried out and enforced by the Watchtower society is pure and simply evil.

This makes me so sad and mad at the same time.

We, as the shunned, must put aside our differences and support each other so that we can survive and help others like us to survive.

I wish you all peace.

Joel

Gopher

The practice of shunning is one that is raising more and more curiosity among non-JW's.

There was a news segment on KOIN-TV, Portland, Oregon (including Venice's dad)regarding the practice of shunning. Here is a link for more information on that news show: http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/forum/thread.asp?id=23728&site=3#299066

-J.R., member, UADNA-MN
(Unseen Apostate Directorate of North America - Minnesota division)

This post was not evaluated by any mental health professionals.
Any opinions expressed are those of a fuzzy, cuddly rodent.

plmkrzy

It always hurts.

Joseph Joachim

We, as the shunned, must put aside our differences and support each other so that we can survive and help others like us to survive.

I think there's a big misunderstanding about this shunning thing. Or perhaps Americans are overly susceptible to it, for a reason I ignore.

Let me tell you what my personal situation is. Those of my family who are in "the thruth" (my father, brother, sister and grandmother) and those who were my closest friends in the congregation don't shun me. They could do it, as some others in my ex-congregation do, but they choose not to do so. It's true that I'm neither DA nor DF, although I've committed all sorts of disfellowshipping offences, but no one has to know that. I don't DA myself and I don't go around telling everyone about my sexual life, because I choose not to do so.

Also, I left all my "apostate" books in my father's house, side by side with the WT litter-ature. So my brother (who is a MS) must have seen them. And with my father I have had extensive discussions about WT doctrines, the Ray Franz incident and the Evolution, so he knows very well that I'm not going back to the WT and why. Yet they have chosen not to shun me.

About 15 years ago my sister was DFd (later reinstated) and we didn't shun her either. At that time I was on the shunning side, but I didn't do it. I have shunned other people, but they were mostly people I didn't care much about. That's why I understand (and don't care) when some people shun me now.

So, in short, I think it's true that the shunning policy should not exist, but we cannot blame the WTS for decisions people make when they could (and many do) act otherwise. And if you did your part shunning others while you were still in Jeho-bah's Clean Spiritual Paradise, now you should see being shunned as a kind of Divine Retribution.

MavMan

I just read the story about the family in Oregon, gone forever, because of the pressure of shunning.

Joel, you are saying this as if it were a fact. It is only an apostate theory that will never be proven. For people that constantly ask for hard facts, you sure do believe easily when it's a theory without fact against Witnesses.

Most apostates and ex-witnesses here say that they are happy to be out of the organization, so if this is soooo true why the need to kill yourself? Does happiness lead to suicide and mass killing of your family? Is there something wrong here...?

Joel, don't take this as an attack but only as my personal opinion on this matter.

dubla

mavman-

Most apostates and ex-witnesses here say that they are happy to be out of the organization, so if this is soooo true why the need to kill yourself? Does happiness lead to suicide and mass killing of your family?

this senseless statement is expected coming from you. are you really saying that everyone who wishes to be free of the organization also should wish to be shunned by their loved ones? breaking free of the mind control is a relief to all that make it out....but i cant think of too many people that would choose to be shunned by their family members and friends. shunning is a horrible practice that tears families apart (ive seen it), and breaks the person down mentally. ive been around disfellowshipping all my life; ive watched all four of my sisters go through it, and get shunned by my own parents.....it nearly killed one of them, literally (she was suicidal). for one thing, many people that are disfellowshiped also still believe in the "truth" (they all did), so how would this shunning be such a relief to them? not everyone who is disfellowshipped is neccesarily out of the brainwashed mindset yet....so no, its not instant happiness for them to be free. your logic is just as flawed as it always is......re-think your statement and try again.

aa

MavMan

this senseless statement is expected coming from you.

It is not senseless at all. I am actually referring to a statement that is quiet often mentioned on this forum about the happiness that is found outside the organization. My analysis is just logical.

but i cant think of too many people that would choose to be shunned by their family members and friends.

You are right. I certainly am not happy about being shunned, but I also see how it has helped me come to my senses. After being disfellowshipped, I have abandoned my sinning path. Now I see the value of being inside the organization and I miss the loving friends that I've lost. Shunning is the strongest form of discipline. In my case, it is what I needed to wake up and brake free from Satan's hold.

how would this shunning be such a relief to them?

It is not a relief. In ancient Israel (following the Mosaic law), fornicators, drunkards, apostates were put to death. Shunning is a more loving discipline comapred to death.

dubla

mav-

It is not senseless at all. I am actually referring to a statement that is quiet often mentioned on this forum about the happiness that is found outside the organization. My analysis is just logical.

i showed you where your logic is flawed.....youre grouping two things together that are in actuality seperate. being shunned and choosing to be free of mind control are two different things. you are taking the "apostates" view of being out and happy, and trying to turn it around by saying "if a person is so happy being out, the why the need to kill himself". this is where your logic went south. all who break free of the brainwashing are happy to be out....this relief of being free does not take away the anguish that the inhumane practice of shunning creates.

You are right. I certainly am not happy about being shunned, but I also see how it has helped me come to my senses. After being disfellowshipped, I have abandoned my sinning path.

you are parroting the wt stance on disfellowshipping, which is to be expected of someone still under that controled mindset. you do not yet think for yourself, therefore you view the "punishment" as a neccesary tool for you to be able to "come to your senses". give me a break. no one needs to be shunned to decide which path to choose. this "tough love" theory doesnt wash with me. i wont deny that it works on some....the guilt factor brings you back to the organization that you still feel is the only true religion, and your only true path to life (its engrained in you!). for many though, the mental anguish takes over, especially those prone to depression, which is why you see suicides stemming from disfellowshipping. these people are guilted into thinking what theyve done is so bad, that it warrants shunning by the people closest to them. its truly sick.

It is not a relief.

well, you insinuated that it should be if people that are out are truly happy. this is your deceptive tactic that ive explained above.

aa

joelbear

Quote:

Shunning is a more loving discipline comapred to death.

Joelbear says:

I respectfully disagree. Shunning is psychological torture which I believe is inhumane.

Joel

joelbear

Joseph,

In my opinion shunners and shunnees are victims of psychological abuse. The shunners tend to have a social network to help them through their issues. Shunnees may form a new social network where they are not shunned and go on to live a happy life. Shunnees may suffer lasting psychological damage which leads them to depression and/or self destructive behavior.

I think much of the interaction that occurs on this board has to do with the way each of us as individuals deal with being a shunner and/or a shunnee. My parents also do not follow the shunning guideline regarding me, but there is evidence that they have to deal with a certain amount of guilt for disobeying this Watchtower guideline.

The fact that you are not DA'ed or not DF'ed means that there is no Watchtower guideline regarding shunning you. You are basically doing what a great number of witnesses do, which is to lead a double life so that you can "have your cake and eat it to." It has been pointed out many times on this board that this occurs in many of JW.com's posters families. Indeed, your behavior, is my opinion, is a reflection of the power of shunning. You hide your lifestyle so as not to be DF'ed and shunned.

Shunning is a powerful social sanction and it effects the behavior of everyone it touches.

Joel

Shunning is the big story

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