Quick question, did you feel lonely at the meetings even though you were part of the action?

by Theocratic Sedition 46 Replies latest jw friends

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  PrincessPeachz

  Always, barely had a couple of people I called friends. Everyone was always gossiping about everyone else behind their back.
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  dozy

  Yes - I know what you mean. I always felt something of an outsider at the meetings / assemblies even though I was very much part of the congregation.

  My wife & I used to wander around the concourse at conventions looking at all the people engrossed in conversation & scratching our heads looking for someone to talk to. Any conversations we did have were short & we were pretty much dismissed very quickly. At the meetings if it wasn't for essential elder business ( eg talking to people after the TMS ) I would be standing around like "billy no-mates".

  Looking back , I think the problem is that my family never fitted into the classic 2 types of JW stereotypes - the socialites & the self righteous "spiritual" ones. Or maybe I'm just an anti-social guy who has a BO problem! Who knows...........
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  dontplaceliterature

  I only started feeling that way once I learned TATT. I made a beeline for the car after every meeting for the last couple months that I still was going.
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  Skbj

  Yup. I did, mainly because I didn't have much in common with them, once the bible/meeting talk was done. I couldn't really express stuff that would interest me without feeling that I was being frown upon and most of the time they didn't have a clue what I was on about anyway because their mind was only revolving around WTBS publications. But I always thought it was because I belonged to a congregation out in the sticks, so I thought the rural mentality had huge impact, little did I know it had nothing to do with geography
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  blondie

  You don't feel free to think and talk what is in your heart without worrying they will label you apostate. They put their own status ahead of you. You can't depend on the ones that say they are friends to stand up and support you, when others lie about you. What is that quote that says "they will turn and rend ye"?

  Mt 7:6

  New International Version(©1984) "Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and then turn and tear you to pieces. New Living Translation(©2007) "Don't waste what is holy on people who are unholy. Don't throw your pearls to pigs! They will trample the pearls, then turn and attack you. English Standard Version(©2001) “Do not give dogs what is holy, and do not throw your pearls before pigs, lest they trample them underfoot and turn to attack you. New American Standard Bible(©1995) "Do not give what is holy to dogs, and do not throw your pearls before swine, or they will trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces.
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  unstopableravens

  yup knowing at any time any relationship can end. how can you not all jdub friendships are bulid on sand. i understand what ur going through
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  XBEHERE

  Lonely no... bored, disgusted...yes
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  Left in the Cold

  Lonely to the bone. But, of course, I'm df'd. Which is the point, I guess. I do have difficulty at the meetings. 'Faking it.' I find myself shaking my head no or uttering under my breath. I'm hoping maybe the elders will think I'm crazy and not seditious. I have a fantasy. I'm at the meeting and I just stand up in the middle of it and scream as loud as I can. Hasn't happened yet.
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  tornapart

  It's strange because although I often feel 'separate' during the meetings and find it difficult to connect with what's going on, afterwards it feels different. Maybe it's because most of the brothers and sisters I've either grown up with or our kids have grown up with each other. So although I feel lonely in one way, I don't in another..
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  LongHairGal

  TS:

  While YOU may have been part of the "action", you were merely a prop in that facade, an interchangeable piece. Nothing warm and friendly about any of it.

  I remember one Sunday after the meeting was over and I stood in front of the hall observing everybody. I felt very lonely as I looked at all the families, extended families and cliques. The only other interaction I observed was people connecting with those who had assignments OR the occasional single person who had people coming up to them to ask for something, whether it was a ride or something else. I know because I had this experience.

  Their brotherhood is as phony as a three dollar bill.