does anyone feel messed up sexually because of being brought up as jw? like you have missed out, etc?

by johnjones3210 41 Replies latest social relationships

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  johnjones3210

  Hiya,

  I'm new to this forum but just wanted to talk to somebody about this.

  I was brought up as a jw and left just over a year ago. I'm now 26 and feel messed up sexually. The reason I'm messed up is because I feel like I've missed out on sex when I needed it most, when I was younger. Now its all I ever seem to think about and just wished I did it when I wad younger.

  now I can't keep in a relationship because I'm constantly thinking about other women and curious as to what they would be like... Since I've only ever had one partner. It's driving me crazy.

  anyone else in the same boat?

  Cheers. X
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  punkofnice

  I wouldn't say I am in the same boat as you but without a doubt being a JW stopped me from functioning normally.

  Even when I was married the cult restricted how I showed my intimacy.

  I'm now too old to give a sh1t.
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  irondork

  They had my head ALL screwed up about sex, cuz I'm gay. I finally exploded with it in a very irresponsible way. I've had two relationships in my life; one for 18 months, the other for 2 years. Both fell apart because I was so messed up about homosexuality. I always thought I would return to Jehovah some day and so I was not able to let the relationship get too far into my blood. I always held it at arm’s length.

  When I finally tried to get reinstated, the elders told me I could not live with my female roommate if I wasn't married to her. So, putting Jehovah first, we did a quickie marriage. Now that I know TTATT and have left the organization, I realize how wrong they were on every sexual subject that ever hung me up. (Along with a myriad of other topics) Too late, though. I am married to a female and not free to go find a husband. And neither is she.

  It's not all bad. I love her dearly. She is my best friend. But, yeah... they screwed me up pretty good.
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  Satanus

  You're only 26. You have lots of time to explore, and it's natural to go through a phase where you checking out new partners. They usually do it a bit younger than that, but not that much younger. Go for it.

  Me, i'm a lot more yrs behind than you are. I'll never catch up.

  Get therapy, if you think you need it. Otherwise, look up pick up artists on the net. Use PUA in your search. I know it sounds crass, but they explain a LOT of stuff. They can save you a lot of time and trial and error.

  S
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  l p

  I agree. Growing up as a JW does mess you up sexually. I am 35 and am a single mother. I left in 2002/3. After that time I met my ex partner that turned out to be extremely violent and a child came into the situation. He was extremely abusive. Even sexually. I did not enjoy sex with him as it was not satisfying - he was an alcoholic that had impotence. He also made me hate myself physically which is something I still suffer with now 4 years later.

  Im sad that I never got to experience sex with another young person in the situation as your first love. Ive not done anything I would like to sexually, which is not a great deal but even making love the whole night - I've never experienced that, nor a weekend away.

  The situation for me is that if and then when I get over my feelings about myself that he made me feel, how on earth will I ever be able to get back the experiences that I've missed especially now that I have a child. Not likely.

  L P
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  creativhoney

  it does mess you up. I married too young, I didnt love my husband - I was allowed to court him as he was a MS. i cheated on him, I wanted out but the elders encouraged we work on our marriage. - when that didnt work I cheated again. - when i eventually decided to leave I left everything - my husband and the cong - looking back on life had I not all that fear of disfellowshipping and the elders and I truly believed there was NO WAY out of my marriage unless I fornicated, - i cant believe it didnt actually occur to me to just leave him and keep my dignity like you would in the world - its not working, Im gone.

  when I had a few single years not a witness before I met my now husband, lets just say I got that out of my system and Im glad I did. I now know Im not missing out on anything and sometimes worry I would think I was -

  teh psychologist said to me the problem I was having was that I had not been allowed to have a youth where you make mistakes and learn from them so I was having my teenage years in my thirties!

  also if you are having those thoughts constantly, it may not be a good indication of the state of your relationship in general, not just that you are 'wondering'
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  Red Piller

  no doubt about it. I experienced so much guilt over thinking about it so-much in my teens. And I married young - like everyone else. In middle-age now, and I can't get over that I have had only one partner - which I know is crazy and makes sense - all at the same time.
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  LouBelle

  I definately feel like I missed out and that I have to play catch up - though I never will catch up.

  I'm at that age when a lot of people have found their partners, have or are settling down. Plus I'm looking for something meaningful and with someone that I can actually talk too about stuff. *shakes head* there are very few pickings.
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  creativhoney

  I'm at that age when a lot of people have found their partners, have or are settling down. Plus I'm looking for something meaningful and with someone that I can actually talk too about stuff. *shakes head* there are very few pickings.

  LouBelle youre a little younger than me - I met my perfect partner 2 years ago - at a festival! good things do happen - and pickings were slim, I thought I'd end up settling... I feel like I was given another chance at life. :) x x x
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  Scott77

  I think, no one can expect anything better from a destructive cult such as Jehovah's Witnesses. Your experiences are a good testament to that. The GB are a poor example of families to follow. There not having a job to support a family, not having children, not paying bills but living off to donations and scams, what else do you expect from them? Visit the kingdom hall and see, where are the youth? Most congregants are over 50 years.

  Scott77