does anyone feel messed up sexually because of being brought up as jw? like you have missed out, etc? (page 2)

Bangalore

It is a very prudish religion. Even showing bra straps by accident is considered a big deal.

Bangalore

rather be in hades

i'll be candid and say i know how that feels. never cheated, but it certainly did mess me up.

if that's the case, isn't that your body's way of telling you that you're not ready for a committed relationship?

i'm not the one to give you suggestions as i'm on my own path, we're all different and by no means am i wise. i will say, i've decided to take the time to fully flesh out who i am and what my needs are as a person outside of a relationship. it sucks being hurt, and it sucks hurting someone else and jumping into all of that without figuring out self seems like a surefire way to disaster.

James Brown

I know lots of people, I have been out of the tower for 30 years.

The world is full of men who cant stay in a relationship because they are thinking of other women.

I think you are normal.

You have to decide what you want in life and go for it.

A relationship requires work and has benefits. It has upsides and downsides.

At 26 you are still a young man. Some of what you say I dont understand. You say "you cant stay in a relationship because you keep

thinking of other women... since you have only had 1 partner. If you cant stay in a relationship, it seems like you have had more than one

relatioships and therefore partners.

creativhoney

Im with PP -

i've decided to take the time to fully flesh out who i am and what my needs are as a person outside of a relationship.

made a huge difference being on my own for a while. when i did meet my husband, i knew who i was on my own and that I did not need to be in a relationship - yes i knew it would have great advantages for me, and I am not a person who wanted to be alone, but at least I knew I could do it - I feel when I met my husband this made me more of an equal partner and not the needy lonely one!

Mr. Falcon

Felt a lot of guilt over stupid stuff like hidden Playboys and crap like that.

I agree with the above comments about the JW tradition of marrying young. So many marriages based on lust, doomed to crumble just a few years later due to the stress of reality.

blondie

I can think of several other religions that could have and have messed people up sexually. What religions do you think would not have done that?

Phizzy

Hinduism ?

blondie

Why do you say that, Phizzy? Any info from a good website on Hindu beliefs?

LostGeneration

26? Dude you still are young!

Go out and get after it (responsibly) of course. There are tons of books, blogs, websites out there that can help you out.

The thing about sex is that lots of religions mess up people so there is a lot more info out there produced to help people out.

sd-7

Yeah. You don't get the chance to deal with those feelings in a healthy and balanced way. Like everything else, it's black and white, so naturally when you wake up you pretty much have major problems making rational decisions, unlike most actual adults who have already figured these issues out by your age. Or at least way ahead of you on that.

I've had two partners, but one was crazy and not really right for me and the other...well, is pretty awesome actually but since the baby it's been kind of a 9 month dry spell. I suppose if it weren't for guilt, I might not have married her, when I think of it. Learning not to guilt yourself so much about sex was kind of the worst challenge. Still not entirely there yet.

The big thing is to be responsible; limiting your partners and using protection are wise choices, of course--not really wanting/expecting to have sex, I found myself not being properly safe when the time came, which I regret even though I didn't catch anything. Maybe if I'd used protection I might have felt less guilty or worried about pregnancy or disease and might thus have been able to make more objective choices at the time. I mean, granted, I didn't leave any seed in the first partner, but still...the point remains valid.

Not feeling free to evaluate a partner fully, including sexually, certainly puts a person at a disadvantage in terms of choosing a life partner. So it is important to learn and talk to someone who can help you break free of the guilt issues. It takes time.

Wish I had more advice to give, but even where I am now, I still feel like a virgin in terms of my approach to women. Yes, touched for the very first time, okay? You don't have to say it.

--sd-7

does anyone feel messed up sexually because of being brought up as jw? like you have missed out, etc?

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