by unstopableravens 48 Replies latest jw friends
unstopableravens: im just getting sick of the unreasonableness. i mean im about to be shunned and she going to look like the victim i just want her to see that she deserves to not be lied to
Understood, but as LeavingWT pointed out, "Never discuss doctrine!"
Why? Because ultimately--in spite of all their endless rhetoric about "The Truth" and the importance of "knowledge", especially "accurate knowledge"--it isn't about doctrine. It's about control.
"Listen, Obey and Be Blessed"
"she just came home from meeting and said i should da myself so she can just worry about her and my son"
This is a very normal reaction. The active JWs want you to think that there is some urgency in the matter. They want to know exactly what your status is.
However, you have the power and control -- so long as you stop talking about "apostate" things and voicing *any* ideas that are contrary to official WT doctrine. Keep your research and your thoughts to yourself, for now. You need to learn more about what your involved in, and you need to read the stories about how to be successful in helping yourself and others.
Most people do not deserve to know what's in your heart. JWs are not capable of simply non-emotinally discussing facts. If you have an opportunity to read Hassan's first book, 'Combatting Cult Mind Control', you'll get some insight into how your JW loved ones think.
Remember, the JW religion is not a pair of glasses that they put on each day. The religion is their entire worldview, their very eyes! Your challenge is not to remove their glasses, but to reshape how they see the world.
Sorry to hear how that turned out. I have to thank you though for taking one for the team! I was tempted to try something similar. At least we can learn from each others mistakes. Hang in there. I'm trying the: be less angry and more warm and helpful approach. My wife has enough other BS on her hands to deal with at the moment. The last thing she needs is me bitching and moaning about logic and truth.
I think the advice about not discussing doctrine is the best.
unstopableravens: i showed her that they lied, well she says it does not matter and she got upset at me - [Emphasis added]
So much for reasoning on the scriptures.
Yes, they lied and it does not matter.
Look! It's a cult. DOCTRINE DOES NOT MATTER. Just do what the FDS/GB/WT says whether it makes sense or not, whether is contradicts what they said last century/decade/year/month/week/day/minute or not, whether it's good for you and your family or not.
The only thing that matters is Obedience ... oh, and one more thing: "Send money!"
If you want to have any hope of reaching your wife, then you need to: Stop, read Hassan's book(s), develop a plan and execute it.
Learn from our mistakes and successes.
00DAD
The best way to help a JW. Is to live a happy and properous life. This will get her attention.
When I first started finding out about the truth. I was so angry and felt it was my right to tell my family about all of this knowledge I was finding everyday. It made them very scared and upset. But I was fortunate because my brother was raised a witness and was just 18 years old and knew that he did not want to take the dip. So I had him to vent to...he had started college and started having a normal life. So he said, by dear sister, you left the JW...but you are still behaving like one. Why is it your RIGHT to tell people how they are suppose to live. Get out there and start living yourself.
This makes me laugh today. I'm 14 years older than my baby brother and he gave me some life changing advice.
Long story short. I started doing things I always wanted to do. First I started with just watching TV show on meeting nights. Then I joined by kids PTA, then I started my own home based business. I visited a different church for a couple of months. etc. etc. In the end I started living and doing things that I wanted to do.
I did what you call a fade. And it's so strange...because I'm openly and actively involved in my church. Tell all of my witness family and friends how proud I'm of my son who just completed 4 years of service in the Army. Brag about how wonderful my baby son is doing in College. I'm very active politically.
So I recommend...dealing with yourself. Being in the JW faith takes alot out of you and leaves you with alot of life to go out and enjoy.
I wish you and all the exJW peace on the long journey of finding yourself again.
Honestly bro, she is upset at you because of where she is at, but you also did actually humiliate her. That was definitly not something that would have gone well, even if she was inclined to see things your way from the beginning. My wife is still in and active, and she feels the same way I do about many things. But her entire culture is tied up in the religion. Her family and friends are good people. So despite that fact she can see things my way, its sad for her to not have me with her. It has little to do with my decision, and more about her fond memories of service the hall, her idea of family serving God together.
Why not pick a "neutral" subject to have a study with her and your kid on, and let her see for herself you are not a raving lunatic. And I agree you should apologize to her for setting her up.
After just being here for a week, I realize EVERYTHING goes back to wether the GB is being USED BY JEHOVAH. As long as they believe that, any adjustment of teaching, wacky revelation of the past, or future change, doesn't mean much.
i did tell her sorry for the way i came at her with the set up and all and got her a wii game she wanted just dance 4, she said sorry for hanging up on me. im going to take a few days to ponder everything with me and my family.
only if she knew i got advice from other "apostates" lol
unstopableravens: only if she knew i got advice from other "apostates" lol
Yeah, and we're telling you to back off, slow-down and take it easy!!! That's the best part.
