need to talk/vent. wifey wt problems

unstopableravens

my wife ask me if im going to make up the assmebly, i reminder her that i in clean conscience can not go anymore,as soon as the word anymore came out the tears started flooding. it hurts me to see her like this. i talked to her calm trying to explain why i cant worship with doctrine that is so clearly wrong. we talked for a half hr,and she now is crying and wants to be left alone. i now know what other familys are going through because of the wt

finally awake

I'm sorry that she's freaking out on you. Just do your best to reassure her that you love her and want to be with her.

unstopableravens

i am bro, all she cares about is the org,i hate to see her like this . i cant be a hypocrite, i have to be honest with her, and im trying to be gentle about it.

Hortensia

Well, poor guy, hang in there. Keep loving her, don't pressure her, but don't give in. Someday she'll have to make a choice.

Aussie Oz

She really believes you are cutting the 'threefold cord'.

Cutting jehovah out is worse to her than if you slept with another woman. They would rather you die than cut the cord.

It's insane.

Oz

unstopableravens

yeah she says im leaving jehovah, she does not understand jehovah is not the org. im not leaving god, im just not going to worship with lies.

Cold Steel

Well, you know my view Ravens. Keep going to assemblies with her and just pick up on the good things. Is it worth your marriage to bail out of a few meetings for the sake of making a statement? No church has the whole truth and you're free to continue believing what you wish. If a teacher asked you a question, you can say, "Well, the brethren teach..." and then you can add, "...but many worldly churches teach...." There are other ways of swinging with it, but you've got to go slow. I can imagine how I'd feel if my wife bailed on my faith, even though it doesn't condemn other religions and members to hell.

When I first read your thread title, I thought it said "wifey WEIGHT problems." But then I read the post and saw what "wt" meant.

If I became convinced that my church was wrong, I could still stick it out and believe what I want. You can bet, though, that she's not going to keep this to herself, and you shouldn't hold that against her. She's going to have to talk to someone about it and she's most likely VERY unhappy. I wish you the best of luck, but my recommendation is to go in, hug her, tell her you've decided to keep on attending assemblies with her. You can say you still have doubts, but that that's natural and you don't think God will hold it against you. Tell her you're still reading the publications and the scriptures, and that whatever decisions you make, you'll make together.

I don't know any church that teaches 100 percent truth, and anyone that tells you that you'll be damned to hell for remaining a JW doesn't understand God nor do they believe the scriptures. It's probably more important to God that you stay with your wife and make her happy. Offer to read the scriptures with her and bring up some of the things that are nagging at you. But right now she's insecure and she thinks you're an apostate. That means, to her, that she'll be resurrected and you won't. So for now try to see it her way.

Best of luck to you!

DATA-DOG

Ravens,

My wife freaked out when I told her that i privately celebrated the memorial last year. I had been waking up to TTATT for a while before making that decision. I read C.O.C and I.S.O.C.F as well as really studying the Bible with a concordance. I KNEW by her reaction that there was something wrong with a religion when one mate attacks another because of an act of faith based on the scriptures. I used the opportunity to tell her that I do not believe that JW's are right about everything. I asked why would a God of love separate a family for eternity? I said that there must be more going on than what we are aware of, perhaps the 144,000 is symbolic? She said my partaking was worse than me cheating on her with another woman or dying. My head was swimming. I have had 5 Elder's meetings since and have no priviliges at the KH.

The last talk I had with my wife was her basically telling me that she was preparing to take over as the spiritual head of the house. I re-stated my views, even mentioning the new light about the FDS. She said, " I know that is why you wanted our Family worship night to be about the FDS. I already know about it and it makes perfect sense to me.." I tried to get her to realize the importance of really studying the BIBLE, and to be wary of men's teachings that always change. I also asked if I would have been considered an apostate if 1 year ago I had confessed to not believing in an FDS " class "? She made a derogatory comment like " Just because YOU found Jesus this year doesn't mean I don't know how to study. I am way above you when it comes to study....". I told her that if she really believed that I was an apostate, then she should kill me herself. I said I would not try to stop her. According to the WTBTS apostates deserve death.

There is an uneasy peace right now. I don't know if it will last. As we were talking she said that the Elders told her to talk to them if she needed help or encouragement. As of this writing it has dawned on me that some of her questions to me were not her own. Something warned me to be very careful in my responses to some of her " loyalty " questions. I would not be suprised if an Elder or two were trying to gain info through her. They can be very devious ( without knowing, just by following the Shepherd Book ) and the sheep trust them implicitly.

I wish I could help you more. The WTBTS mind control is so powerful that a mate will betray you. It happens all the time. Just ask Raypublisher. I will say this. There is a certain satisfaction that you recieve for standing up for what is right. No one can take that away from you. You will have an inner peace given to you. I really do believe that everything will work out for the best if you folllow Christ and not men. What is your path? I can't say.

There is no shame in fading. The faithful hid in caves while Jezebel was in power. You are under no obligation to martyr yourself. That will not stop the WTBTS. Their judgment will be from a higher source. You don't need to let them destroy your family. Remember when David pretended to be crazy to escape death? You can practice your own theocratic warfare if you want. Depression is a good strategy. So is exploiting any health issues you may have to reduce meeting attendance or field service. A heavy workload is good too. The Elders will leave you alone after a while, especially if you are not considered good enough for any type of appointment. They care about visible works, stop doing those. Pretty soon you will be an occasional thought when the CO come to town. Don't try to cause controversy, just use the WTBTS's own hypocrisy as it become available to help your wife.

Remember that she is a victim just as much as you were. It may take time. The direct approach may not work. The direct approach does not work!! They must be ready to hear truth. Just treat her as you should treat anyone else. She is not the enemy, she is a victim. If you love her then act like it. If you do what is right and treat her right, then IF the worst were to happen you would have clean conscience. The WTBTS would stand condemmed for their part in breaking up your family. Your wife may see that and realize the truth. Don't give up yet brother! The truth is on your side! Christ is on your side, and so is our Father!!

Peace be with you,

DD

DATA-DOG

Dang OZ!!

She really believes you are cutting the 'threefold cord'.

Cutting jehovah out is worse to her than if you slept with another woman. They would rather you die than cut the cord.

It's insane.

I had no idea you wrote that as I was writing my comment!!! Crazy!!!

Cagefighter

Let's take a step back Unstoppable... What does the WT tell us or your wife about someone that leaves or has doubts? That they are spiritually weak...where does spiritual weakness lead...sin!

Once your wife realizes this is not the beginning of the end of your relationship with her and that you are not going to change into someone else, she will be better.

She will also respect you for standing by your conscience and not being a pawn. Who knows, it might make it easier for her to deal with her own doubts as well.

Hang in there!

need to talk/vent. wifey wt problems

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