need to talk/vent. wifey wt problems (page 4)

unstopableravens

punk: yeah dude its horrible,i feel like im subhuman in her eyes

punkofnice

Ravens - On more than one occasion the missus said to me: 'I only married you because you were a JW!'

I'm sorry but the JW cult uses brain washing, guilt fear and phobia to control totally. Their M.O. is rule or ruin.

Your wife has had her mind cleansed(TM)!

"Minds must be cleansed" (Watchtower, June 1, 1953, p. 350 par. 24). 24 In these closing days of wickedness Jehovah’s people must demonstrate holiness. They must not foul their minds with the filthy mental food on the propaganda tables of this old world, but must feed on the feast of fat things Jehovah provides. (Isa. 25:6; 28:8.) Minds must be cleansed and made over, mental circuits formed by old-world thinking and acting faded out and new ones put in according to new-world specifications. By privately studying regularly, by attending all meetings regularly, and by engaging in all features of the preaching work regularly mental circuits are deepened and such good activities become habitual, not at all the struggle they are when the mental circuits are weak and faint because used only occasionally. For ourselves and for others, make them strong!—1 Tim. 4:16.

unstopableravens

punk she has told me the same thing! she always says that!

SkyGreen

Not sure if any other wives/women had replied.

im so sorry for what u are going through. Try to remember how u may have reacted if the situation were reversed?

Please give your wife a big hug and tell her how much you love her, that you still love god just as much, u need to just reexamine your faith. And if you are open to it, tell her you would still love to read the bible with her. Also reassure her that you will not oppose her. Be ultra gentle when bringing up points of difference... Let her question things herself, in her own time.

I'm fortunate my hubby is very good about letting me think independently, but I have to still be careful that I don't overwhelm him.

Personally I'm feeling I'm on the track to agnosticism/atheism, but at the moment I'm doing more open minded bible reading than ever before. Ain't critical thinking ability grand?

All the best with your wife, and just one more piece of advice, whenever she says she wants to be alone, go in and give her a cuddle after about 15 mins to let her know you love her and you're there when she needs her. Sometimes even when we want to be alone, we still need a bit of reassurance that our man still cares, thar he hasn't used our alone time as an excuse to forget about us. We are complicated creatures!

(hugs)

unstopableravens

sky green thanks for the hug,punk wont give me one lol yeah i told her last night i love her and everything, im glad ur still open to read gods word. yeah i guess as people here can tell im very straight about what i believe,and maybe it has been alot for her to take in. its just the peace of knowing the truth,and her rejecting that for a false religion is so frustrating. stay awy from atheistism please.

punkofnice

Ravens - Sorry, can't resist....

stay awy from atheistism please

It was christianity and religion that convinced me to become an atheist. Plus, I'm not discounting a superior power but it just seems to me everyone has made their own god in their own image that loosely follows their chosen church's doctrine.

If god wants us, he wants you and me despite our beliefs. If god reads hearts he's welcome to read mine, then he should be ashamed of himself for what he's let happen.

PSacramento

You need to be there for her.

Listen to what she is saying and speak to her gently and lovinginly.

Express to her your concerns about the the WT and the JW religion BUT don't do it in a aggressive manner, express to her that you love her more deeply than ever, make sure she understands that it is about THEM and not you two.

Read Her Paul's passage about Love and help her understand that you still believe in God and Christ and the issues are the HUMAN doctrines NOT God.

You want to assure her of your love for her and for God, help her understand that as best you can and answer any question and doubts she has with love and tenderness.

punkofnice

punk she has told me the same thing! she always says that!

Oh, shizzle!

Come visit me in the UK. We can have some beers and a chin wag about it!

happytobefree

i truly understand how she feels,happy to be free

...if you understand how she feels...why is she so hurt/upset? then you are basically saying I purposely hurting her....

,you asked if she showed me because shes asked me,if that was the case i would like to think i would have honestly acted like i did when i seen ttatt

...you think (but you don't know)...so instead think how you would feel as an elder if a JW came to you with such thoughts and you are in full JW mode thinking

. i do not like being lied to,she needs to see that see deserves to have truth. i dont want my son to be lied to as well,aww i just wish we could get pass this before hes to much older!

...how is not discussing something that is very hurtful to your wife lying. And really what is truth....as I said before your perspective is going to change many times (so your truth changes). I have been officially out the JW Org for 12 years and everyday I learn something new...I have gone from a humanist/agnostic...close to athiests and now I'm in between Agnostic/Christian. So if I had argued that I have the truth (which I did at times and it has cost me dearly) or continued I would have alienated alot of dear family and friends.

As someone that ruined a good marriage, because of my crazy JW thinking (arrogance) and I lost my husband after I knew ttatt. It was because then I had to tell everyone ttatt, then I wanted him to adapt to everyone of my new thoughts, budism, athiest, etc. and it was too much for him. When he handed me divorce papers and walked out the door for the last time. He said to me, I don't even know who you are anymore. At the time I did not know what he meant, because honestly I thought and was a better person. But he was right from his perspective...I really was not the same person that he married.

Also from most of the posters who lost the battles with their spouses...I have been reading and talking to exJW and spouses of exJW. And I find when there are issues. It's because both sides want to be right. But marriage/relationships should be equal...both can be right for themselves. I really believe you have NO RIGHT to tell an adult what is right for them...and if you are in a loving relationship, you should be supportive of their choices or at the least respectful.

Currently I'm in a committed relationship with a awesome man that is 16 years older than me. He was in a 30 years marriage and I was in a 15 year marriage. What I love about our relationship is that we both know that you cannot change anyone...you have to love them just the way they are. When he doing something that just annoys the hell out of me, sometimes I will tell him how it annoys me and move on...but most times I just laugh and say that's my baby and move on. When I have one of my crazy unconventional thoughts, rants....He usually just say "REALLY"? and move on.

...so as one posted stated...if you want to talk about religion, your feeling about the JW org...talk to a therapist, vent on forums, do some research...but if you continue in your talks with your wife before she is ready (or if she will ever be ready to leave the JW)...you may very well lose your marriage or have a very unhappy one.

you really need to pick your battles and this is not being untruthful. This is showing some restraint and LOVE for your family.

need to talk/vent. wifey wt problems

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