need to talk/vent. wifey wt problems (page 5)

unstopableravens

punk : i will take you up on that i love me some draft beer.happy to be free, i really get what ur saying, first the lying part not me, but the org is lying to her, second she does have the right to choice what she wants, and i have the right to believe what i want. that i agree with. no offense im just being honest not arrogant i believe losing faith is possible but only by not relying on yahweh , i pray that i never lose faith, i truly believe that i have been born again and that god is going to protect my faith, and like i said before the gospel is gods mean of salvation, she has the right to reject it, im just not going to allow her choice to hurt our marraige, the same way my choice should not kill our marraige. when we both got married neither one of us new ttatt, now we both do and we both have made differnt choices. i truly thank you for your post.

jgnat

Hi, unstopableravens. How are you doing with your homework?

I negotiate to attend say, one day out of three with my JW husband. I am not supporting the WTS just by planting my bum in a seat. I take a blank notebook and write what I like.

You must remember what a huge social event the assembly is. By not being there, you are sending a huge message about the state of your marriage. It's a big social demotion for your wife. She enters the sad category of "married to an unbeliever", the object of sympathy, clucking tongues, and informal shunning. Believe me, the assembly is twice as boring with no-one to share it with.

You may consider being supportive in other ways. Can you take care of the young one while she attends? How about taking her to a nice restaurant each evening afterwards? I know that is something Witnesses like to do around here.

unstopableravens

jgnat: im so sorry i honest forgot to do my homework,thanks for bring that up, between the wife stuff, dicussing god with my athiest friend on jwn and having discussion with jw on youtube i forgot. ill blame the ateists(joking) just cofty. good advice dinner it is!

punkofnice

Ravens -

no offense im just being honest not arrogant i believe losing faith is possible but only by not relying on yahweh , i pray that i never lose faith, i truly believe that i have been born again and that god is going to protect my faith,

No offence taken me ol' matey.

For me I consider faith as merely delusion. Why would I think that just because I live in a christian type country I coincidentally am lucky enough to know god?

If I were born in Pakistan I'd be a Muslim. If I were born in ancient Greece I'd worship Zeus (or others), if I were born in Viking times I'd believe in Odin and Thor and so on. If god were that great he wouldn't have let himself be obscured for years. 'Satan did it!' is just a get out clause in my mind.

Whether I have faith in god or not..........he's still none naff all for me or humankind. 'Worship me or die!' what a megalomaniac would say. What kind of arrogant creature wants to be worshipped or will kill you anyway?

As for miracles. Never seen any with my own eyes!

Anyway...............I'm told told British tea is different to USA tea (presuming you're in the U.S of A)

unstopableravens

born and raised my british friend

DATA-DOG

" You must remember what a huge social event the assembly is. By not being there, you are sending a huge message about the state of your marriage. It's a big social demotion for your wife. She enters the sad category of "married to an unbeliever", the object of sympathy, clucking tongues, and informal shunning. Believe me, the assembly is twice as boring with no-one to share it with "

That is so true! My wife said that she wanted us to be a normal family in the truth. What she means by that is she doesn not want to be the wife of an inactive or DF'd person. I her mind it is perfectly acceptable for me to go to the meetings and fakesmile and listen and follow along and head-nod and laugh. It makes me ill. She has even busted my chops for studying the Bible during the meetings and writing in the margins of my Bible. Normal means " Listen, Obey and be blessed " by the GB. You must be a superb actor to keep peace in your house. Don't think of it as lying. Think of it as playing a role............

unstopableravens

yes data dog you hit the nail on the head! she would reather me do that and its sick

tornapart

I'm in the same boat in a way. Hubby is an elder, which makes it very hard for me. Fortunately he believes freedom of choice is important but it has changed the dynamics of our relationship. I'm no longer the 'woman he married'.

I you want to keep together you may have to make some concessions. Could you accompany her to some meetings and assemblies, even if only one day? Let her know that your faith in God, Christ and the bible is just as strong. It's only your faith in men that has gone. She'll be feeling shaken and unsure, not knowing who you are anymore. Let her know that you haven't changed as a person. Try doing a family study with her but say you only want you to read the bible itself together, without WT publications. Maybe read the gospels or Paul's writings. This is what I do with my hubby, even though I have to bite my tongue sometimes when he comes out with JWisms.

It's hard, it takes effort and sometimes is very frustrating but it's worth it if you want to keep your family together.

notjustyet

marked

everchangingworld

Raven, I feel for you (and for your wife). When I came out and told my mate that I no longer believed in the org., I saw him shed tears for the second time in our 7 year marriage (the first time was at a family member's funeral). It broke my heart. He asked me if I would still do family worship with him. We were hard core JWs (both had been clocking 70 hrs/month, "need greatering" - it really was our entire life).

I ended up going to the meetings with him anyway. It was nauseating, but I wanted to meet him part way, so I kept going on the condition that I could keep asking questions about my doubts. (This might not work in reverse, since I know he felt he was the "spiritual head" and would have to "help" me, but it worked for me. After every meeting and during every "family worship" session, I asked MANY questions. I was careful not to say anything negative about the GB/org, only questions about how do we know Jesus picked them/where's the proof. A few months later he was out with me. Not saying it would work for everyone, but I think had I attacked the GB while he was still a believer, I would have messed it up.

Wish you the best.

need to talk/vent. wifey wt problems

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