My Fathers Memorial Service

by William Penwell 35 Replies latest jw experiences

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  Band on the Run

  My uncle,who was his closest friend at Bethel, gave the funeral talk. He allotted two or three minutes to acknowledge the immediate family. Altho non-family Witnesses were invited, he referred to him as Mr. X. They courted women together. I can recall the checkers battles.

  Ray Franz spoke so movingly about these talks in one of his books. My father went out preaching rather attend his 30 year old's brother in law's service. Let the dead bury the dead.

  I don't see how anyone would be attracted. People must be appalled. When I looked around my father's funeral, everyone there knew the doctrines. My uncle knew we knew.
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  steve2

  I feel for what you went through. Unfortunately, a memorial service held in a Kingdom Hall has to follow Watchtower "policies" (i.e., rules). That's just the way it is.

  To be fair, some of the stricter and/or older religious organizations are similar to the Watchtower in that very little personal input is allowed. I attended the funeral service of a colleague's father who belonged to the Greek Orthodox Church. It was highly ritualistic and ceremonious, with extremely little said about her father at all.

  Following the principle of "When in Rome....", when in the Kingdom Hall, do what the JWs do. My mother died a "loyal" JW with her memorial held in her kingdom hall. It was hard to endure the service, but we did it for her. Afterwards, my siblings and I held our own memorial for her at my sister's place. It was such a meaningful, personal service as we each recalled our memories of this lovely woman, with each grieving in their own way, free from religious pressure.
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  EmptyInside

  Sorry for the loss of your father. We put up pictures of our father at the hall. We saved the video tribute to view at home with family and friends.
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  Billy the Ex-Bethelite

  "Is a memorial service supposed to be about the person?"

  Not in JWland. For them it's alway about the sales pitch for the religion.
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  gone for good

  A young Anglican minister conducted my Moms funeral service. She was shy and wasn't one of his regulars, so he had my sister tell him about her - her life and history, the family she raised, and her little antiques business she loved so much.....he wove together and delivered , the most gracious, dignified and utterly appropriate, funeral I had ever attended.

  He understood, and took the time to make it apparent, that my Moms quite life of hard work, was a blessing to many people in many ways.

  His wonderful delivery was truly a gift to a family in grief.
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  William Penwell

  I would like to say one thing too the WBTS GB, how can you f%^$# people live with yourselves? To take abdvantage of a persons grief is the lowest of the low. I know after the first 5 minutes when they get into their sales pitch, I will be turning off my brain.
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  William Penwell

  The memorial service is not about your father. If you are lucky it will be given by an elder who knew him well and is willing to talk about him as a person. However the memorial service is just an excuse for them to preach their religion and the person is very much overlooked. The time is deliberately short to prevent the elder straying from the approved text.

  I have been to some memorial services that the elder given the talk got the deseased name or personal info wrong or you can tell they just read it off a piece of paper. When it comes to their sales pitch they know that BS off by heart.
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  return of parakeet

  My father died a few years ago. When I attended his memorial service at the local KH, I asked my husband to time how much of the talk was actually devoted to my father.

  40-minute talk; 8 minutes about my dad.
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  ruderedhead

  My sympathies for your loss. Losing a parent is so difficult, and you should not have to compromise on how you wish to memorialize your loved one. I have been to non-witness funerals where cd's were played at the funeral home. Is it possible for you to have the service somewhere else, and do as you feel is appropriate for your Father? I hope things go smoothly for you as you deal with your grief.
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  ShirleyW

  I made sure to point out to the Bro that did my mothers memorial not to make it a recruitment meeting for the Society.