If it was just myself I would push it more but then there is more family members that will want the JW BS then ones that don't. Also this is my dad's wishes so I would have to go along it. I recall a JW cousin that did the memorial at his sisters a non-believers home. I would think it was a compromise, although they did have a memorial service in the town where his mother, the deceased live. It was the best service I was ever at. Although my JW cousin read a few scriptures most of the time was spent on remembering the deceased. Again it was because it was a private ceremony and no JW elders there.
My Fathers Memorial Service
by William Penwell 35 Replies latest jw experiences
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talesin
The hypocracy and pushing of their agenda is truly disgusting, it is no comfort whatsoever. A memorial service should be just that, a comfort to those who are grieving. You are right to honour your dad's wishes, though.
xo
tal
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zeb
My condolences.
The wts uses any occasion damn them!
I have been to a jw wedding and recall saying to my mrs as the elder droned on "he will be getting the WT out soon".
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steve2
From another angle, non-JWs frequently comment about how crassly preachy Kingdom Hall memorial services are. So, if the organization thinks that memorial services are recruitment opportunities, anecdotal evidence suggests the opposite: Non-witnesses - and even those less negatively disposed towards the witnesses - find these services complete turn offs.
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William Penwell
I have been to a jw wedding and recall saying to my mrs as the elder droned on "he will be getting the WT out soon".
I do not like it at weddings either but at you are not emotionally volnerable like you are at a funeral.
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William Penwell
From another angle, non-JWs frequently comment about how crassly preachy Kingdom Hall memorial services are. So, if the organization thinks that memorial services are recruitment opportunities, anecdotal evidence suggests the opposite: Non-witnesses - and even those less negatively disposed towards the witnesses - find these services complete turn offs.
I agree most non-JW's see it what it is, a sleazy cheap way of trying to recruit new members. If they want to briefly mention the deceased "hope for the future' that’s fine, but again the focus should be on the deceased life. It may be acceptable to all the JW's there but when you have a number of non-JW's it just becomes a turn off and negative publicity for the JW's. If they are looking for recruits, this is not the way to do it with a hard sell approach but those dinosaurs in Brooklyn don't get it.
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undercover
Has anyone noticed a trend where JWs are opting out of having funerals at Kingdom Halls? And not even in funeral home parlors where local elders take charge of the production...
I haven't been to a lot of JW funerals the last few years, but the ones I did attend, it was the older folks... the uber zealous types that had the 'traditional' JW infomerical style funeral, but among some other, not so dyed-in-the-wool, total zombiefied dubs, they went to more non-traditional services. Especially younger generations who are starting to face the deaths of family and friends that they never thought possible before.
More cremations. More private memorials, with only close friend and family memorial services at a favorite vacation or nature spot of the deceased.
Not a huge trend, but enough to make me realize that many dubs would prefer to have a real memorial service eulogizing the deceased instead of the JW style of talk, that turns into a recruitment speech.
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steve2
Undercover, I've noticed the occasional JW in good standing having a memorial service at a venue other than a kingdom hall. One of my JW uncles had a memorial service at a funeral home not the local kingdom hall. At that service, even the JWs gave lovely euologies about him. This would not have happened at the kingdom hall.
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William Penwell
I would prefer a private sevice with just the family members, where we can just talk about all the good memories of my dad. Not sure if this will happen as you have too many in the family that will want to stick their nose in and the next thing they will want some elder involved and it will agian just end up to be a big preach fest. I was saying to my cousin the other day that as a dub growing up in the early 70's this was not supposed to happen. We were made to believe that none of us would die but cheat deah by holding hands into a paradise world. The society never made us come to reality of death and that took me years to come to terms with. Now they are trying to cheat me out of properly grieving for my dad.
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William Penwell
Undercover, I've noticed the occasional JW in good standing having a memorial service at a venue other than a kingdom hall. One of my JW uncles had a memorial service at a funeral home not the local kingdom hall. At that service, even the JWs gave lovely euologies about him. This would not have happened at the kingdom hall.
A few years ago I attended a JW memorial given at the local funeral home that was refreshing. They did a 5 minute slide presentation of the deceased life and it was not all a big preach fest. The key here is it was at a funeral home. Most dubs are limited for funds and are force to use the KH, by the way that they all paid for it themselves with no help from the mother organzation but are now told by the organization how they are to run their memorial service. If I had a say in the way this would be just a private service at home. I will be doing something later after just for dad and only invite the non dubs.