Fun times.
A year and a month have passed since I moved in to the house where my Cousin Deb and her husband Bobby live.
I had a small but comfortable room, tv, etc.
A nice cozy family situation, you might say....right?
I pay $600 a month to defray expenses.
Hunky dory.
Sure. Sorta.
Until the first few eruptions!
Turns out my Cousin Deb is (probably) bipolar and paranoid........from time to time.
I never knew!
She is as sweet as she can be 99.99% of the time.
But, like the little girl with the little curl right in the middle of her forehead
When she is good she is very very good and when she is bad...
she is horrid!
The first explosion took place while the two of us were trucking our bicycles to the bike trail. We both love outdoors. Nice ride. Sunny day.
Then: WHAM!
She suddenly turned on me and started screaming at me in the truck.
Talk about being taken by surprise! Wow.
Called me every name in the book and accused me of whatever popped into her head and told me "if I had a gun right now I'd shoot you dead!"
Fun times, like I said.
Okay....we got past that. The next day she told me she was under stress and her medication wasn't helping.
What medication? For what?
Apparently, she flies into rages and has for 35 years.
I spoke to her husband, Bobby, privately and he gave me a sick smile.
"She almost kicked a guy's ass in a bar one time. It took two of us to pull her off of him! She'd have killed him!"
I suddenly felt very sorry for her and for Bobby. How could I help?
Bobby told me she just needs understanding and lots of kid-glove handling.
That was 7 months ago.
Since that time the eruptions have gotten more frequent.
I've been on the recieving end twice and the rest of the time Bobby gets the screaming rage treatment.
I don't know how he's been able to handle it for 35 years. I really don't.
She never apologizes. In fact, she is only vaguely aware of anything she said while in a fit of rage!
I referenced something she had said and she looked at me like I was lying!
Cut to the chase...
Day before yesterday I get an e-mail from Deb.
She is in the NEXT ROOM, mind you, and is sending me an e-mail.
Okaaay.
It was a seething little piece of venom!
I needed to move and NOW!
Or what? The veiled threat sounded as serious as it ever has.
But, she made it sound as though this is what I WANT and always have wanted.
Strange. Sad. Unreasonable and mostly scary!
I spoke to her in person and told her how sorry I was that things "weren't working out" but that I would honor her wishes.
She looked at me like a gator eyes a meal.
She started asking for any birthday or Christmas presents she had given me and I handed them over without prejudice.
I swear it was surreal!
All this while Bobby was at work.
I called him and he was very apologetic and very sad.
"You two are the only family each of you has and it breaks my heart when she does this sort of thing. But, when she makes her mind up nobody and nothing can change it."
Turns out she simply stops taking her meds now and then. On purpose. She'll starve herself too.
Bobby has thought about commiting her--but--he feels like doing that against her will would break their marriage union forever.
So, this catches me at a very bad time financially to say the least.
I owe 48 thousand in hospital bills that I'm paying off in monthly installments and just two days earlier I had to pay for car inspections sticker and registration renewal!
We all have to budget but I budget like a son-of-a-gun!
A sudden disaster is very world-shaking.
I've temporarily moved into a garage until I can get something permanent. Yes, an actual garage:)
All because of a bipolar Cousin who won't take her medications.
I'll be okay in 20 days when my Social Security check comes but it is going to be very thin going until then.
I'm guessing this is a bipolar thing but Bobby can't confirm and neither would Deb.
Her mood changes are sudden and dramatic.
The only warning signs were a shift into negativity a day or two before the eruption (not always that much warning).
She will say something to you as though attributing a NEGATIVE statement or intention from your mind and not hers.
Then, she reacts to her own attribution AS THOUGH defending herself!
The only medication she has is Effexor which is for "depression."
I am guessing her therapist is simply responding to what he HEARS from Deb as the only source he has to go on.
Deb won't let Bobby talk to her therapist, you see.
She is very "controlling" and highly fixated and OCD as well.
Does anybody have any first hand idea what may be going on with her?
I'm worried because my 19 year old daughter goes over to her house every Sunday to cook with her. She loves it and enjoys it--BUT--my daughter
has never seen Deb in her BLACK MOOD and I'm very wary that this could make her a target one day unexpectedly.
Sigh.
I'm just confused.