Man, that is a real bummer. I don't know what I would do if I were in your situation.
Sometimes we don't know how surrounded we are by angels of mercy who are mere human beings!
I like to tell the story of my former wife's great grandmother whom everyone in the family called Dee Dee.
Dee Dee was a quiet, poised and well-mannered lady when I met her in 1987. Her husband had died years and years
previously. She lived by herself.
Her son (my father-in-law) called and visted her each and every day.
When she died at the age of 89 I attended the funeral.
I've been to enough funerals to know what it is like being at one.
But, this time I was in for a surprise!
It was a cold January that year and the day of the funeral was no exception.
We all expected only the family to be there. Maybe 14 "other" people.
After all, when you are 89 your old friends are likely all passed away and it is pretty difficult to make NEW friends as you age.
We arrived at the funeral home at 3pm. The weather forecast was snow.
Inside where the body lay in state was a kind of auditorium. I don't know the official name of it. You sit (like in a Kingdom Hall) and one by one
family members view the body or say a few words of remembrance.
I arrived with my wife and kids about the same time as my Father-in-Law. We were about 30 minutes early.
At first, Sam, (it was his mom who had died) was pretty sure we were in the wrong auditorium!
Why?
There were over a hundred people already seated!
Moreover, Sam didn't recognize ANY of them!
After a few anxious inquiries the funeral director showed Sam the registry. It is a book the guests sign. Clearly, these people knew
where they were and whose funeral it was.
Sam couldn't wrap his mind around this for a long time. It just didn't make sense.
These weren't OLD people. These were people of all ages.
What was going on.
Well, as the time approached for the ceremony, a few people spoke to Sam quietly when they knew he was the surviving son.
He was in tears.
Time for the Service!
Sam stands before the full auditorim and thanks everyone from the bottom of his heart for coming out on a really bitter winter day.
He apologized for not recognizing most of the faces. He went on to say that he had been told by several people there why it was they were unknown to him.
As it turned out, Dee Dee had been helping people ....for years. Many, many years.
Quietly.
Privately. Various ways.
She never told her own son about any of it. When she noticed or heard that somebody needed help---she helped.
These people were the grown children and relatives of people Dee Dee had helped over the years when those persons were really in a bad way.
It made such a difference in their lives they could not sit at home and merely read the Obituary without paying respect!!
And, as if that weren't special enough, there were a few nurses there as well. These nurses worked in the retirement home where Dee Dee spent her last months of life when she was too weak to stay by herself. These nurses had never been around a woman so free of complaint and so quick to reach out to others like herself in the retirement home! Dee Dee had been so private about it and so effective at cheering the hopeless and encouraging the weak---it did something to these nurses who were more used to hearing complaining and self-pity.
THEY TOO simply had to honor her by being there for her funeral!!
As the small ceremony came to a close Sam addressed the group.
"I just want to say that immediately following this service there will be a gravesite gathering. I DO NOT EXPECT any of you to be there because I've just been informed it has begun to snow quite vigorously and your attending THIS service is already more than my heart can bear. So, thank you."
When the Funeral Home limousine delivered us to the Hebrew Rest Cemetary by the gravesite there were flurries of whipped snow like bright strands of confetti spinning down in huge flakes from the treetops and clouds.
Around the coffin was the very same group of about a hundred people! Every one had taken the extra effort to be there as well!
I've never seen a grown man cry like Sam at that moment!
The full measure of THEIR gift passed to the son of the woman who helped them and their parents and relatives.
Later he said he knew he had a very special mother with a big-hearted generosity. But, until the day he bid his farewell in that cemetary with her coffin surrounded by strangers who WANTED to pay respect to her life--he had no idea what a miracle really was.
It changed me. That day. I learned to "pay it forward".
Sometimes you are up. Sometimes you are down. Pay it forward. When it counts the most----there it is!
Life can be a bummer but it doesn't have to be. We learn. We grow.
I learned that day.
