Bipolar Landlady kicks me out!

by Terry 140 Replies latest jw friends

  • whathehadas
    whathehadas

    Wow.....what a story Terry. I hope things will be better for you.

    Cut to the chase...

    Day before yesterday I get an e-mail from Deb.

    She is in the NEXT ROOM, mind you, and is sending me an e-mail.

    Okaaay

    I had to laugh at that because my late cousin's wife did sort of the same thing to me while I lived in her house. She would put letters under my room door for certain things. Seems like she shyed away for the most part with confronting me on issues with the rent, bills, etc. I was paying for them. I didn't think she was bipolar, since she was a very outspoken person who had been dealing with the loss of her husband for awhile. He was involved in a accident and his body was never found. Anyway.......Terry your situation is tough with that bill also. Maybe you can find a way to get around it or pay less like Randy said.

  • Terry
    Terry

    I had to laugh at that because my late cousin's wife did sort of the same thing to me while I lived in her house. She would put letters under my room door for certain things. Seems like she shyed away for the most part with confronting me on issues with the rent, bills, etc. I was paying for them.

    Yeah, my cousin Deb has a way of turning things back on you. "I know e-mail is your preferred method of communication so I am writing this..."

    You see, she INVITES you to argue and start something with her by trying to defend yourself.

    Doesn't work with me! I ignore crazy provocative comments from her because I learned the hard way with my Mom.

    She could twist anybody into a blubbering knot in five minutes!

    My rule of thumb when accused is "Never explain or excuse." Roll with the punch...

  • EntirelyPossible
    EntirelyPossible

    Glad you are getting help. PM your contact info, I will be in DFW in a few weeks, I am looking forward to seeing you.

  • Fernando
    Fernando

    Hey Terry!

    It's real easy to give advice from the sidelines, but to live with a seriously mentally ill person can be draining and mindbending!

    Congratulations on keeping an even keel in rough seas!

    I pray for all kindheartedness extended to you, to be blessed many times over.

    Greetings, blessings and peace to you and yours

    Fernando

    PS - Wow - had no idea that the "SickCare" system was so broken - despite the mountains of money it consumes.

  • jookbeard
    jookbeard

    sorry hearing about the grief you are going through at the moment Tel, hope you get your digs sorted soon.

  • Bangalore
    Bangalore

    Sorry to hear about your situation,Terry. I hope things will work out for you.

    Bangalore

  • Terry
    Terry

    I got one of those blow up air mattresses last night (no, not the inflatable doll!) that campers use and it was GREAT sleeping last night.

    After a 4 ft. couch and a garage floor it felt like the Waldorf honeymoon suite! My back is thanking me, too.

    I went out for an afternoon bike ride to clear the cobwebs out of the brain since the weather in Ft.Worth is bouncing from the thirties at night up to the 70's in the afternoon. This is the West side of Ft.Worth and they have bike paths on the streets which is a nice convenience. Now, if only the motorists knew what "bike lane" actually means!

    I was thinking about what happened to Randy the entire time I was peddling and became hyper aware of traffic around me. You can't relax your vigil even for one second.

    Somewhere inside your brain you try and balance out the rational difference between living in a self-imposed bubble of too much fear and avoidance of mishap by staying inside....or...casting off all fears and pretending you're guarded by the Secret Service 24/7.

    I find bicycle riding to be exhilarating because the fresh air, sunshine, exercise and exploration bring me back to my teenage years.

    It is so easy to get into a habit of sitting. I see it happen to my friends. First the belly bulge, weight gain and then the total loss of get-up-and-go energy.

    I could jump up right now and run up three flights of stairs and barely be breathing heavy. But, if I were a sitter I'd not make it very far without calling 911!

    For the last 6 Sundays my 19 year old daughter had made a habit of visiting my Cousin Deb's house to take cooking lessons and serve up a wonderful dinner followed by the two of us watching episodes of Homeland or Walking Dead.

    Now, today is Sunday. I'm not living with Deb.

    I'm really conflicted. Deb is very very nice to my daughter and Lily (my daughter) loves cooking with her.

    What shall I do?

    I didn't want to ruin their relationship by telling Lily the DETAILS of my move. I just recited the positive benefits; I'll save money on gas, less wear and tear on my car, etc.

    But, if I don't go WITH Lily, she will feel uncomfortable. She is very shy and has a panic and anxiety disorder.

    So, I think I'll call Deb and see if it is okay with her If I come along. It may be very awkward---but, my daughter is worth the discomfort to me.

    If Deb says "no", I'll not do anything. If Lily calls and asks me to go I'll tell her I can't but I really want to.

    Other than that--I just don't want to plant negative or nervous ideas in her mind....

  • rip van winkle
    rip van winkle

    Terry, I am glad that you are with your daughter in her home and glad you had a goodnight's sleep. Some of those air matresses are more comfortable that a mattress full of springs!

    I wish I could ride a bike, Terry. I used to love the freedom I felt as a kid when I rode and all that you mentioned.

    Maybe your cousin Deb is thinking more clearly now. And hopefully she loves your daughter enough to put Lily's interests before her own.

    All you can do is try, Terry.

  • SixofNine
    SixofNine

    Sorry for your troubles Terry. There is no rhyme or reason, that's why they call it crazy. I'm sure you are familiar with the term APN (Apparently Normal Personality). And if not familiar with the term, I know you'll recognize the practice of someone living in an APN.

    With 7 adult kids, I know you'll be alright... but man, think how much worse your situation would be if your kids were un or under-educated JW's who think of you as an apostate! So you did something very right there!

  • Terry
    Terry

    Oh my gawd!

    I just got an e-mail from cousin Deb.

    As I mentioned, each week on Sunday my 19 year old daughter (who wants to be a chef) cooks supper with Deb (who is a wonderful cook) and afterward, Lily and I would watch TV. When I spoke to Deb's husband, Bobby, he said he looked forward to us still coming over for that on Sundays. Well, I see this is not possible.

    Deb really has a way of making things YOUR FAULT! She projects. Here is her e-mail.

    ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

    Terry,

    I wanted to give you a heads up about my email reply to Lily this morning. I am forwarding it to you out of respect for her. You will need to talk to her about these Sunday dinners in the manner of your choice.

    It would be very uncomfortable for me to have you over for these dinners knowing that you cringe whenever you are around us. No, I don't want you to tell me this is not the case, the actions of the past year tell the tale and I will come to accept it. I'm working on it daily. Bottom line is, I don't know if Lily would be willing or able to come over here without you being present. You need to discuss that with her, not me.

    Don't think for one minute that I would ever do or say anything to hurt her in any way Terry. We have had great fun just she and I. I don't intend on discussing you or anything else that might make her feel uncomfortable should we be able to resume our Sunday cooking together. I hope I am clear about this.

    I would appreciate a response from you about this matter later on in the week after you and whomever else come to a decision.

    You left the power cord to your keyboard and also clothes in the hamper, that of course I washed. Let me know when you want to pick them up and I will leave them in a bag on the porch. No need for us to see each other ever again. It's the best thing for both of us.

    Deb

    _____________________________________________________________

    This saddens me greatly. My daughter, Lily, really really loves the cooking lessons--but, is not comfortable without me there.

    She has an anxiety disorder and is very shy.

    This really tears it! I don't want to say anything negative to my daughter about Deb, but, I don't know what Deb wrote to Lily.

    This is all so unnecessarily cruel!!

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