I do not know how anyone (including your wife) could read your letter and fail to see the heart-jerking questions with which you struggle.
The thing is, dear DOC (peace to you... and to you, along with strength, dear Greybeard!)... no one will actually read it, except perhaps someone in the Writing Department. The elders don't (they just forward them)... and the GB never even sees them. I learned this from the many, many letters I wrote over the years. One I actually hand-delivered to a GB member, who let me know that he wouldn't read it but pass it on to the Writing Department. That's how folks stay so much in the dark there: they DON'T READ... almost anything... except a WT publication.
Even so, it also doesn't matter what's published in the WT - their "Bible" is the "Reasoning" book. If they can't find an answer to your questions in there, they default to "wait on 'Jehovah'."
I cannot imagine you getting a reply from Bethel, as there ARE NO answers to your questions
Someone posted that since 4 months have passed, no answer is forthcoming. Don't be too sure - it took over a year for me to receive even an acknowledgement that my letter had been received, then almost another before an answer was provided... and it wasn't via letter to me put an article in the WT.
What they're MOST probably doing... is searching for Bible verses that will purport to "refute" the ones you included in your letter and what YOURS purport to state about the WTBTS (which is absolutely TRUE, but they will try and show how it doesn't mean THEM!). And they will find them. They have to... because they can't be SURE no elder read the letter. They HAVE to make a reply, even for that reason. And so they will. Either directly, in a letter to you... or via a WT article that addresses what "some" are "saying"... and how such ISN'T supported by the Bible.
As for your situation with your dear wife... my heart breaks for you... and those like you. But YOU, dear one, are a CLASSIC example of what my Lord meant about bringing a "sword"... and one NOT have greater love for father... mother... wife... than for him. And I think you know this, which is HOW you are able to stand in your faith, with integrity. Your dear wife is making this decision, not you. That "sword" is not a means to kill, but to "divide"... even to bone and marrow. Meaning... it will show what's truly IN a person... which is what you wife, I am sorry to say... is showing you: what's truly IN her... right now. Our hearts are where are "treasure" is... and she is letting you know where HER "treasure" is, right now. I think you know this, too... which is why you have made the decisions you have.
I HOPE you two can work it out... but know that you are not alone in such a situation if you cannot.
May the undeserved kindness and mercy of the MOST Holy One of Israel, JAHVEH, and the love... peace... and STRENGTH... of His Son and Christ, the MOST Holy One of Israel, JAHESHUA, the Chosen One of JAH (MischaJah) be upon you... if you so wish it... and that also extend to your entire household if you ASK for it.
YOUR servant and a doulos of Christ,
SA
