by lostinnj83 26 Replies latest jw experiences
Sometimes if there is a particularly puke worthy meeting, which there seem to be more and more of, I have to physically remove myself at times, to the bathroom, parking lot in summer. I spend assembly taking notes of the fallacys they are using, or anything too over the top, missaplyied scriptures etc.
But yes I get headaches, sometimes chest pains, usually when I hear comments from the R+F that are just false. I hate to see the complete brainwashing in some or most.
It's funny (not actually funny funny, but you know what I mean) I also do suffer of heart palpitations...what the heck? Every time I feel like just not going to the meetings I get into an argument with my wife. I really just want to tell her how I truly feel but that would kill her. She knows I'm not comfortable with a lot of things and she just tries to "encourage" me to keep trying.
BU2B - Yes I know the feeling! Usually during the School/Service meeting, I leave during "half time"!
The issue is not sitting and listening to people talk about the bible, they are not teaching the right things from the bible, they are brainwashing people, so I guess that is where the sick feeling is coming in.
I felt sickest, if that's a word, while I thought I was a Christian but disagreeing with the GB doctrines.
Now I'm agnostic, I just view the meetings as cultural events I go to to maintain a semblance of a social life / family relationships
I've been out so long but it's still clear as day. I remember back when the Chinese Communists had their little red book with Mao's sayings' in there and they would have those big assemblies and all the obedient Chinese would demonstrate their unity by waving their little red books. Then I'd see the same thing happen at one of the conventions and it would just bring we down it was so wrong.
What I feel now if I have to attend a JW funeral is disgust for the lack of respect for the dead as well as the living. It became impossible for me to sit through more then the first five or ten minutes. I get up and walk past the attendants on my way out the door miming needing a smoke. They always look startled.
This is your body (and mind) telling you something is wrong! Listen to it!
I'm trying not to judge here but there comes a point where your body and mind demand respect. If you continually override them its an internal battle that can't be won...there are even stories on here of people who have a nervous breakdown because they kept going to meetings and service even though they were getting sick physically.
Start the meds if you must, but more importantly stop the meetings! You will probably feel better within a month of quitting. I know you fear what might happen, and it probably won't go well. But carrying on like this is insanity, nothing is going to change if you keep doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.
lostinnj83 - My therapist also made the recommondation for an anti-depressant as well. This is all to just cope with the pressure of faking it!
Hi lostinnj83, What kind of therapist are you seeing? It is your choice to pay for eiter a good and bad therapists/counselors.
Have you read any of Steve Hassan's books (i.e., "Combatting Cult Mind Control", "Releasing the Bonds: Empowering People to Think for Themselves", and (his latest book) "Freedom of Mind: Helping Loved Ones Leave Controlling People, Cults and Beliefs"), visited his website, called him at 617 396-4638 for $100 for initial consultation , or watched videos of Steve Hassan like the following video?
www.youtube.com/watch?v=sw-oF-Z_I7U
If you know about Steve Hassan and believe that he has better solutions than your therapist, why not see an exit councilor recommended by Steve Hassan? The choice is yours. Pay money and be sick, or pay money and get better.
Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,
Robert
Hey, everyone's saying it, it's your body screaming out to you! Don't ignore it.
Help your body through this, be kind to it. Anything helps, but it has to be everyday, because its a learned skill and you need to make it a habit. What makes you feel good physically, be it exercise, food, meditation, running, swimming, massage. Schedule it in your diary & do it very day!
My experience in life tells me that you can only force yourself into the pattern of living that youve described for so long...until snap, one day you will be getting ready to go to the meetings & suddenly you will lose it & you could takes months/years to recover. Don't let it happen to you.
No one should feel physically sick like you described.
good luck to you
If theSituation isn't going to change, why delay dealing with it? You can continue to force yourself to go to the meetings, but as you have already seen, you will pay a price for it. I also did not want to deal with my difficult husband and mother, but when I finally did, it was not as bad as I thought it would be, and the relief was fantastic, I wished I had done it years before.
I mean what are going to do to you, take away your birthday? They already did that, lol. Just make sure you are ready, have your mind made up, and are prepared for any repercussions. In the end, no one can force you to be in a religion, it is your right to live your live your life as you see fit.
I used to get pounding headaches at the meetings. I feel a lot better now that I don't go anymore. I think that if you feel sick whenever you have to go, you should stay home. The consequences can't be any worse than ruining your physical and mental health.
