by cedars 77 Replies latest jw friends
"Probably the vast majority of Ex-JWs and faders would echo those sentiments. The trouble is there is no way of being 100% sure that the person you confide in is trustworthy and not prone to blabbing."
Yes, indeed. But there comes a point when we need to start taking risks in order to begin to build trust. The question is, when do we reach that point? Until then we are in danger of allowing restrictions to be imposed upon us by WT attitudes. No easy answers!
I still have not had my first encounter with a witness even though I have not been to a meeting for 4 years.
The thought of meeting some-one I used to know leaves me very anxious.
Yes Cedars, I still have the heebie-jeebies!
They say you can't dance with the devil and just walk away. We danced with the devil. We must now takes steps to walk away and remain intact. I don't discuss with anyone who is not a known apostate. I don't talk to any active dubs or anyone I don't know i anti Watchtower. Keep this all on your own terms, like you planned, Cedars.
I think I am mostly over the paranoia but it will still be awhile before I wear my sparlock shirt out in public just in case.
Yes, even though my husband and I are still fading, it's very nerve racking. Even on here I'm so careful not to reveal to much because I don't want anyone to find out who I am. Our family who are still JW's, we don't hardly talk to them at all, just because we don't want to say the wrong thing to them that sends red flags up. Even at the beginning of the month we don't answer our land-line just because we know it could be the elders calling for our time.
So yes distrust and paranoia for us too.
G
For me being kicked out of their silly little club removed the paranoia in one foul sweep.
I myself was very careful about what was said around my family for 19 years but as time went on I realized that it didn't matter I was out of the club. They will never respect my decision of not going to meetings. Me and my mom would talk now and then. One time after several months of us not talking I found out She moved out of state with not so much as a phone call. That was it. I called and let her know exactly what I thought of her and her evil cult. For some reason it gave me peace and I feel much better mentally. They really, in a cult induced way love the concept of the watchtower more than you. I finally excepted this fact and after 19 years am finally healing and free to be who I really am. This took 19 years so yes to each in his own time. All I can hope is that something I said in our last phone call will cause a thought in my mom to research more.
Yes,most of my friends I grew up with left before I did. And I have seen them a couple of times. But,one still talks with her Witness family and tells them we talk,even though,this one is disfellowshipped. I wouldn't think that I would have to explain to them,not to mention anything to their family. So,until I am ready to be fully out,I limit my contact with this person,because they don't seem to get,I'm not ready to be outed yet.
I know of other Witnesses who are not believers anymore,but I know enough not to say anything about it. I don't know why this person doesn't get it. So,in other words,I may be outed soon,but I've come to terms with it. It is a shame that I just can't be open about it all. I guess,I'm just not ready yet,and would rather do it on my own terms like you.
yes, eventually i see myself officially DA'd, but Im being ultra cautious with some people because like you I want it to happen according to MY timetable, when its best for my family. It would be nice to be at that stage in time for my youngest child starting kindy or school (2/3 years). But it has to be once my husband is ready too. Im waiting for him.
