Distrust and paranoia among faders

by cedars 77 Replies latest jw friends

  • OnTheWayOut
    OnTheWayOut

    I know that I am such a small fish in such a big pond. I am not that worried about it.
    I don't openly violate their rules as far as they know, but I meet with ex-JW's all the time. Heck, I used to organize the local meetups.

    I won't, however, allow a single solitary active JW into my Facebook friends. They have asked from time to time. That way, I can be myself.

    I still have not run across any ex-JW's that I knew when they were JW's. I hope to, one day.

  • allelsefails
    allelsefails

    I have found it very useful to change congregations 3 times in about a year and a half. None of my witness "friends" know if I'm going to meetings or not. They feel ok talking to me. The congregation my cards are at doesn't know me at all. To them I am just an inactive brother and they could not care less. Not one phone call in over a year.... perfect fade.

  • Fernando
    Fernando

    In my experience there are distinct phases one goes through when discovering that your favourite religion is a venomous cult. Paranoia was part of one of the early phases as was PTSD, anxiety, depression, fear, confusion and anger.

    However it has gotten much better.

    To the point where I look forward to encounters with honest hearted JWs.

    Healing and empowerment is a process, not an event.


    (Why does the "true religion" secretly blind its followers to the "Good News" according to Paul, Moses, Isaiah and Psalms?)
  • DesirousOfChange
  • cedars
    cedars

    lol, well said DOC!!

    Cedars

  • OnTheWayOut
    OnTheWayOut

    I have found it very useful to change congregations 3 times in about a year and a half. None of my witness "friends" know if I'm going to meetings or not. They feel ok talking to me.

    If that works for some, great. I find it better to expect to lose all JW friends and only do a fade for family. I don't have any contact with JW's except the occasional chance bumping into them or a very rare crossing paths due to some business of my wife's initiative.

  • Quirky1
    Quirky1

    I felt that way at first but not anymore... I really don't give a flyin' fuck.. I thought I would be DF'd by now too... Tried smokin', drugs, etc... And they knew it but have never done anything about it... They have even been to my house and have never asked me about returning or anything.. They tried to make some convo once and I stopped them in their tracks..

  • everchangingworld
    everchangingworld

    I moved to a new city, and I didn't feel paranoid about discussing my lack of belief in the WT to any former JWs - until I realized that some are still hard core believers. Since then, I'm cautious. I wait for them to discuss this first. If they do, then I'm relaxed about jumping in.

    I'm still a bit paranoid with active JWs, although the only ones I still have regular contact with are my JW family. They are on my FB, and I am constantly worried that one of my friends will post something that will make JW family freak out - something about a holiday, for example.

    The chances of elders coming after me are pretty slim, since I'm in a new city where they don't know me. So it's probably irrational to continue being on edge about the possibility of being excommunicated. But I still feel the stress sometimes.

  • *lost*
    *lost*

    .....

  • Dismissing servant
    Dismissing servant

    Lost:......I think we got the point!

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