Distrust and paranoia among faders

by cedars 77 Replies latest jw friends

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  FWFranz

  Hi Cedars

  I walked away from the WTS in the late 1970's. Absolutely burned out from full time pioneer work and related duties. I didn't even have the luxury of contemplating my departure. It just happened one day. When I reflect on it now it must have appeared very strange to those who knew me. I was an uber zealous witness who one day just stopped going to meetings and ceased contact with any in my congregation. No one from the KH ever called or inquired about me from that day forward. Not a single call. Hard to believe but true. My family have been JW's since the late 1930's. Most of my relatives are in fact JW's. What I wasn't prepared for was the fact that from that day onward, none of them would speak to me again. 34 years ago was the last time I spoke to many of my relatives.

  So, leaving is not the tough part. One must be mentally prepared for the isolation that will likely follow. It matters little to even my own mother that I never lost my Christian faith. Its the only thing that keeps me strong through all this madness. As Jesus said, we must count the cost of discipleship, and we must also count the cost of leaving the WTS. I hope your transition will be better than mine has been.

  FWFranz
• 

  life is to short

  I learned my lesson the hard way here on JWN. Last year I had a poster ask for a WT, we pm'ed back and forth seems she lived in my city and knew many of the same people I did. I thought she was OK she seemed really nice and sane in her pm's. Then one day I made a post and she totally came unglued, totally attacking me in my post, she would not stop just kept coming at me attacking who I was as a poster, etc.

  It totally unnerved me as I am not df'ed nor do I want to be. I love JWN but you truly have to be careful. I have not a clue what set this person off but it scared me. I am really gun shy now even to post after that.

  LITS
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  ÁrbolesdeArabia

  Hi Cedars,

  I am trying to go my route in a controlled fashion like you are. My wife is not ready to leave the Organization because we both are third-fourth generation Jehovah Witnesses. I have not be able to hook up with local exJehovahWitnesses because I have seen people get burned when ex-JWs decided to come back to "Mother" and tell the elders as a token of the "want back ins" good will, who all the local apostates and fringe-JWs are. I come from a family who hate apostates and do their best to come to JWN and figure out who is who. 00Dad's great reply to elders being here, will fall upon deaf ears because "the greater good to Mother" is to find out who the evil ex-jws and apostates are. Their hipocritical means justify their evil ends to this game of deception here.

  I watched what happened to Ray Publisher by reading JWStruggle before he came forward with his identity. I saw how the elders on his Apostate Trial video tried to "save" him but they had to go against their heart and remove him according to "Mother's" words. People spread rumors and evil sayings about those who leave, unfortante to doubters they can't come forward and challenge the lies because they believe you are a agent of his side.

  I watched the outcome of GrayBeard's letter and his treatment by his family is another example how many JW family and friends are willing to dump you in a New York Bethel Minunte. I do not trust anyone because I saw my share of apostates and angry ex-jws come back into the Fold because they missed their family. You should have heard the things they confessed to and friends they turned on, to gain the elders trust and demonstrate their heart-felt repentance.

  So to those on the fringes and not ready to have yourself out'ed, becareful who you trust with your "strange and queer personal ideas and thinkings" about Mother the jealous woman who craves all your devotion! People are two-faced when they need a "ace up their sleeve" to prove their love to the elders.
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  talesin

  I had made a friend here, who is a fader. We wrote emails over a period of months; I sent her pics and my 'personal' email, and shared a lot. After months of correspondence, we had decided to make telephone contact. On the day it was planned,,, silence. She was too afraid/mistrusting to exchange digits .. it was hard for me, as I had shared a LOT of personal information with her. The friendship did not survive.

  Sad, very sad.

  xo

  tal
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  ÁrbolesdeArabia

  Hi talespin,

  They must be fully convinced of their situation in life before they divulge their indentity. What did you think of the plant I am going to grow? Did you see that great looking bud? I guess I would make the person making contact with me, prove their loyalty be smoking a bowl of "Northern Lights" and they could stay the night, watch movies and eat munchies "The Matrix 1-3" "Fight Club" and "Meet Joe Black".
• 

  gma-tired2

  I conncted with someone from my past on here in the last few days. I put together who one poster is and I became so excited I PM HER immediately we both have people who

  we dont want to be outed to just yet. (same person)
• 

  talesin

  AdA ,,, yes, I was hurt at first, but now realize that her paranoia is real, and it's okay. It's not for me to decide.

  lol, would love to smoke a doobie with her some day, though! :D

  xo

  tal
• 

  excitesinceredetermination

  I feel the exact same! I am trying to start and establish friends outside of jws, but I am hesitant now about contacting ones that were recently df because one just stopped contact with me;

  she felt she needed to go back now and she was not following the arrangement talking to me...so...is she going to out me when she goes back for her reinstatement and clear her conscience? It scares me that there is a chance someone will yes, "out" me before I am ready. I have to be sure I am in the optimal position with family before I leave, I have to get my fade just right for my best chance to get them to see ttatt. Is it worth the risk trying to gain a life outside the org with friends...if it means I lose that chance I need to get my family out? I am not one to over-analyze, but my god, it consumes your thinking to the nth degree for sure Cedars!
• 

  LoisLane looking for Superman

  In reality I want to shout from the roof tops TTATT but in public I cannot. Having JW.net is gratifying to me on so many levels. I am very thankful to Simon for this forum.

  Being one of Jehovah's Witnesses, is, crazy making. Once you wake up, it truly doesn't make any sense. It is like a horrible nightmare. But this "horrible nightware", has been our lives. If we have loved ones still in, the nightmare continues for them and you.

  LoisLane
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  AnnOMaly

  Only a handful (probably fewer) of JWN members know my RL ID. With all but one (who already knew me from 'pre-awakening' days), it took a long time to trust them enough with that information after letting them 'in' a little at a time. I'm 99% sure they would never betray that confidence. In RL world, I would say, only a handful of people outside of immediate family really know of my position/feelings regarding the Org. I have tended to go by the Mulder and Scully maxim, "Trust No One."